TAMOXIFEN -the third thread ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- will put a link on the old thread.

He is good Cakes - he has a really nice voice, I especially like the ones with more melody -I listened to a couple of acoustic versions on you tube, lovely. I like listening to new things, my musical taste is very broad.

Would have got back earlier but my sister just phoned (not the poorly sister, another one!) I've arranged to go down and look after mum and dad in July, so sis can go and look after her granddaughter (her DD and family live abroad, and are having a child care crisis). She can talk and talk my sister - I must have said about two things and I was on the phone for nearly an hour.

My onc. is a lovely man, so kind and very sweet. He is Eastern European, and likes to try out English idioms, - which he always gets wrong

Hope everyone else is OK today, not too tired SR. Good luck for tomorrow MAS - will be thinking of you.
And xx for RWU, take care.

I've got another herceptin tomorrow p.m. - one more out of the way!

Good luck with the herceptin KK, as you say, one more done and dusted.

Glad you liked the rapper too, as it means I have not totally lost the plot! 'She said' is my favourite, and dd's as well. I have it on repeat in the car

And glad also you think he has a nice voice, I do too, but dd says he sounds like a girl

Hello All - I was volcano stuck - went on a pre-op last minute trip to cheer us up last Wednesday. Oh how we've laughed...

Haven't got time to speak to all, and have only quickly run through posts, but:

SR, glad you're through the clearance and it's better this time round. Hope it remains so. Someone told me the exercises are vital to keeping the body working, so if you do all those fingers crossed it'll keep any further problems away.

Pennies, so sorry chemo's hitting you hard. That sounds hard to take. I guess the positive that you're half way through is a small something, though I'd bet it feels like there's a large mountain ahead still. Hopefully a few days on you'll start being able to enjoy this sun again.

Good luck from me too for tomorrow MAS. Really hope it goes well.

Sorry I can't post good wishes to all personally, but am in a rush. I have my Mastectomy and nodal clearance tomorrow. Yip-di-hip. Any advice welcomed. Am troubled by the trivial notion of what clothes work with drains..

• I have a shopping trolley. Down to my last medical daftness of a slipped disc. It's a Rolser - the Rolls Royce of trolleys apparently and it's fab - meant I could still walk to do the shopping rather than drive, so very much a positive. Have long since stopped caring if I look like a granny.

Hi Smee - very, very good luck tomorrow, you poor thing, volcanoed-up when you should have been resting. Trip was a great idea in theory!

Clothes and drains - trying to remember - it was pretty warm when I had mine (about this time last year, actually) and I think I wore sleeveless vest -type t-shirts, with a fleece-type cardie over when I went out, to cover the whole thing up. It came with a sort of shoulder bag type thing with an adjustable strap so you could hitch it up inside sweater/cardie/jacket without anyone seeing. I don't remember it being too obstructive in terms of clothing.

Anyway, hope you do not have it for too long.

have a good and restful evening, take a deep breath and go for it tomorrow, and come back and tell us you are OK when you feel up to it. xx

Goodness Smee that's a bit hair raising - were you worried you wouldn't get back in time?

Very good luck with your op. tomorrow, I hope it all goes really well for you. As regards clothing, I found things which button up the front were easiest, for hospital because its easier when they want to examine you, and when you come home. Simpler to slip one arm out then carefully get the other over the drain.(unless you have it out in hosp. of course).

I found a bean bag most comfortable to lie on in bed and plenty of pillows, so I was well propped up. It can take a bit of getting used to if you normally sleep on your front. I'd take an MP3 player into hosp. too - in case you feel a bit tired for reading. Any way best wishes - am sure you will get plenty of tips from everyone

will think of you tomorrow Smee - hope the trip helped you relax a bit,though volcano hold up must've been pesky.
and good luck with herceptin tomorrow KK xx

Good luck tomorrow Smee. I found loose nighties with loose sleeves, front opening and a few buttons at top Ok for drains, but had mine removed in hospital after 3 days. Front opening tops/nighties do help. I have had 2 such different experiences but the drains were not a huge problem either time I'm glad to say, just rather uncomfortable and yes, you have to sleep on your back. The drugs seem to help though.

For hospital I like IpOD, Magazines, a crossword magazine (really easy stuff) or Sudoku and I love the all in one thing available in my hospital you pay £10 for 3 days of any combo of radio, TV and Internet. I also enjoy talking to the other patients as long as they have at least some of their marbles as it helps a feeling of camaraderie - but it depends who's there!! I was luckier this last time and had a neighbour I could really get on with. (Although she was bit graphic and detailed about her prolapse!)

Good luck everyone else having treatment or results tomorrow.

GOOD NEWS!! I had 11 more nodes removed and NONE WERE CANCEROUS. So I had a total of only 3 affected nodes - this is a big relief and surgeon was v reassuring about the outlook and the likelihood of lymphodeama, esp as I won't need rads except on local breast area, nothing needed to axilla or shoulder. Still have to get through all this xxxxx!!** chemo and some rads, but feel a lot stronger now. Its such a long time to live with uncertainty isn't it. I still don't have certainty and I accept that, but feel better today than I have for a while.. I am sorry for those of us who might not be getting any reassuring news at present, and hope you don't mind me sharing this .

I have been out for a good walk this afternoon with 2 friends. Time for one more walk before chemo on Friday. I'm only up to no. 3 - groan. But feel a bit more able to deal with it today.

Pennies - really sorry you're feeling low. The accelerated regime seems very tough indeed. I agree that it doesn't help when you're alone too much. Skype sounds a good idea. Plus you must have some germ-free friends who could visit? Are you enjoying radio material? Have you read Notes on a Scandal? Easy to read and I found it intriguing. Also Juliet Naked - same group of easy but enjoyable.

Re weight - I discussed the different drugs this morning and surgeon was quite strong on Arimidex causing considerably more joint pain and SEs than Tamox. He said as I was young (I might be the oldest on here but you see I'm young really ) he strongly recommended Tamox.

Have enjoyed all the trolley and chipper/chopper posts tho' got a bit confused as at one point I thought it was the oncologist who had a melodious voice, htne realised it was the rapper...cheers I'll let you know how I get on with my chopper - arrival imminent.

I'm so pleased for you SR, that is wonderful news - and you have had to wait such a long time to find out, it must be a great relief. Onwards and upwards, and a large treat in order I feel.

Interesting to hear your surgeons take on Arimidex, I will have to have a good read up on it - I've got until July to make up my mind about it.
Take care xx

brilliant news SR !
I thought the onc had a melodious voice too !

YEAY to Sandripples!! That is totally brilliant. Take Kurri's advice as most definitely you deserve a very large treat, even if more chemo's looming. Hope the good news helps with the next lot.

• thanks for clothing advice everyone. Seems strange that that's what I'm anxting over. Somehow my curiosity about the dreaded drains has occupied more of my head than the actual surgery; I must be in denial or something.

The volcano delays wrecked the holiday, but were probably a good distraction too. Felt like 'Challenge Anekka', getting back in time for the op; though without the shell suits or the helicopter - which let's face it would have been quite handy.

Hope you all have a good few days then. I wish you much joy with your shopping trolleys. Onwards for us all..

Yay for SR.

Good luck tomorrow Smee.

Yey SR!! I've been lurking and keeping my eye on all you lovely ladies!
Glad to hear that the head op wasn't as dramatic this time mas, and all the best for tomorrow.
I thought I'd pop by tonight as I'm off back to hospital tomorrow for inpatient chemo ( nasty stuff I think- don't have the guts to google it after the last episode of googling led to nightmares )
will be back soon, hopefully with a clear head and I can update properly!
Love to you all, sorry i've not been able to comment to everyone x

Hello RWU , lovely to see you Lots of luck for tomorrow, will be thinking of you. take care xxx

lots of luck today RWU - will be thinking of you x

Good luck today RWU - will be thinking of you.

Ebbie22 - how are you doing? Did you get some useful information from your Dr?

NBB - hope Mac is feeling a bit better. WRT depression I have to say that I have been made to feel very depressed on chemo. I have this strong urge to just protect myself and that the best way to do that is stay in my room, ideally with the curtains closed. I don't do that because I recognise that psychologically that probably won't do me any favours, but TBH because I've had such bad luck with infections on chemo it is getting harder and harder to resist the urge to hole up.

As to withdrawing from the children I can see this is a concern. When I was told I had a melanoma when DD1 was just 4 months old I withdrew big time, and I could feel myself doing it when I was diagnosed with BC as well. I know that what it was was me thinking that it was a lost cause and they would be better off getting used to life without me before they had to. I had to kick myself hard both times to get over that, but still, when I'm in full chemo yukkiness I do tend to withdraw from them, which is very sad and hard for us all, particularly as this should teach me how bloody precious every second is with them. I make sure i read my two a story every night though no matter how poorly I feel because that's such an important time. In general though, I love children and work with them but find their presence right now too much and it makes me shut down - the thought of going to work in the nursery right now fills me with dread and it is such a fun place to work! I wonder if your mum feels the same?

I'm on Day 7 of chemo cycle no.4. It usually starts to go pear shaped round about now. I've been up since 4.30am with dodgy guts so I'm not holding out much hope of keeping out of hospital again.

Am going to try and do some gardening today to distract myself!

Hi RWU - good to hear from you and good luck for today. (probably too late to post that - doh!)

Fantastic news, SR, I am so, so pleased.

Pennies, I think what you are saying about kids being a bit much when you are going through chemo is so true - it is the constant noise and chatter that stops you thinking your own thoughts, I think. That may well be what Mac is having trouble with. Your are indeed having a bad time on chemo but really, with all this accelerated stuff going on, I can't bellieve you are on cycle 4 already! It may not seem so to you, but it really is flying by. Hold tight for the rest of the ride, and be kind to yourself. it really will soon be over. I found the penultimate one to be the worst because you are getting more run down, but the last one is fine because you feel it is all over, even if you know you are going to be ill for a bit. Sit tight, remember to breathe, and fight the urge to sit in with the curtains drawn. It is a lovely day!

popping in briefly as dh working from home - he wanted to take me to my appointment but I said I was fine on my own -bless him- anyway- mammogram was clear and my check up was fine-next appointment in 6 months - thanks for thinking of me.Dh took me out to lunch !

Brilliant news MAS! Well done!

Hope lunch was scrummy, I bet the good news gave you an appetite!

Great news MAS.

I'm very pleased about yr mammogram result MAS - that's great!

RWU - waving to you and hoping you are getting stronger every day. Sorry I didn't pop in earlier to wish you luck with the chemo- good luck with the follow up though.

Pennies - you are being so strong and it is not at all surprising that you have to withdraw when you are having such a tough time. Reading the stories every day is lovely - I agree about the importance of that and I'm sure the children appreciate it very much. I can only suggest that you try not to worry too much because although this is all horrible, it is for a finite time and you can't do waht you can't do. When the treatment is over you'll be able to have a wonderful time again with the children, and it will all be forgotten. Are you reasonably happy with the care they are getting at the moment, when you have to put yourself first?

Sorry I can't remember how many chemos you're having and when it should finish? I just know you are progressing faster than me! So that's good for your family. Good luck for this cycle anyway and sending virtual support. You are young and have a lifetime still to enjoy with your children, and you will!

Chemo 3 tomorrow for me. I hope to finish at end September - it seems a long way off! But I've been gardening today with my friend who did the heavy bits. Lovely sunshine.

Hey and the mini chopper is totally BRILL! It does onions so beautifully!! My new little freind in the kitchen, I love it.

Gosh this takes me back. Its a constant round of chemo and hospitals you get quite a lot of comfort from it all and i wish id have had this site or any support at all for that matter. I once was asked if i had any questions by the doc i replied "will i ever get drunk and fall over at my doorstep again?" she really laughed and reassured me that i would do. I think translated that meant will i ever be a normal young woman without all the worry. I just thought it would be nice to tell you all that 14 yrs later i sometimes go days with out worrying it will recurr and of course a headache is always a brain tumour etc etc but there is life afterwards and an increased ability to appreciate life and not sweat the small stuff.
Good luck to all of you about to have surgery or treatment xx

Hi all I'm back from treatment - arm intact this time

Brilliant news MAS - it must be a relief to get that out of the way, hope you had a lovely lunch.

Pennies try not to worry too much about what you can't do at the moment. I know its really frustrating and depressing to feel so rotten, but once you have these chemos out of the way you will make real progress in terms of getting stronger and being able to do stuff with the children. I greatly admire all of you with young children, it must be such hard work, - I only had the treatment to cope with.

When I was little and moaning because of a long walk home with my mum, she used to have a little phrase we'd chant 'every step is one step less' - it fits our grown up situation too

Lovely to hear from you Ledkr, and great you are doing so well - I know what you mean about not sweating the small stuff - you get a whole different outlook on life.

I am of your little chopper SR, I need one now!

Love to all especially RWU and Smee at the moment. Hope Mac is feeling a little better today, and good luck with next chemo SR. Hope I haven't forgotten anyone - brain not quite in gear today

great that you are back safely from treatment KK
Hope tomorrow is ok SR
and Pennies - you are doing really well -I think withdrawing is a natural thing to do - I do it when very anxious. As KK says,having little children to deal with as well as horrible treatment must be so hard. Ledkr -it's great to have you on here as a voice of experience
It's a weird week really -this day last year I got my recall letter and I was so very scared. I spent the week worrying about my teeth which ached and my bottom which ached (sorry to mention bottoms-but had half convinced myself that I had bowel cancer) and my breast which ached.

sorry -that meant to read that I spent this week worrying about my bits -I think anniversaries make you think about these things !

Hello,sorry has been so long,having real tough time at the mo,not so much with my breast,bleeding etc,or my hands..Decieded didn't need bed rest like doc ordered,i needed a game of football,so on sunday thats just what i did,unfortantly now i am on cruches,supposed bed rest for at least 2 weeks and no driving for up to 3 months..ARGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH..with two children that is impossible..but am working on taking things one day at a time..
Got referred back to breast consul,gyni and dermotoligist so just playing the waiting game again,been off tam since last tues and have only been sick twice in a wk so much happier about that...

Am i still able to stay on the thread though,promise to read up on this now asap as will have a bit more spare time on my hands

Hope you are all ok,havent read any yet but hope chemo is as well as it could be..Always thinking of you all..
Sorry for the moan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx