TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

RWU - no apologising, its not allowed

Somewhere to write stuff is a godsend, and one day the kids will read that blog and marvel at the complete brilliance of their Mum. Good on you.

Aren't people horrible, sometimes? A client of mine got sacked yesterday, completely undeserved, she is great and as honest as the day is long. Under instructions from those who are left i have had to spend this morning removing all reference to her from the company website. It is like she has been airbrushed from that little corner of history. And an odd thing to do, it will cause all sorts of questions that may be hard to answer. Why not just say she left, people do it all the time?

Mind you, I have phoned and spoken to her dh, and she is not down and out just yet

I seem to have been away somehwre so much has been posted. (Think I was only on the sofa?)

Anyway I also lauighed at the Build a Brownie Hut while on Chemo brigade - thanks for that.

I also like the 'Drains are bastards'

Intraveinous antibiotics are bastards too!! My veins are still bruised and tender after 3 weeks.

I didn't start my diary straight away as I couldn't read or write anything for a few weeks. But is is an outlet for me now. RWU - I also think your DCs will really appreciate your blog. Tine for quick anecdote? My grandmother dies when my father was only 3. She had TB, and two very young children. She wrote letters which we still have in the family and they are very moving indeed.

I don't know if I will ever revisit my diary - I mught burn it - but we'll see.

Pennies - sorry you're having a mis day - I hope it improves. Those tears are inevitable after what you've been through and in a way I'd say they are essential for you. Big gentle hug.

I hope Burning Bright is OK. Perhaps there's no It connection by her bed.

Cakes - I think they probably train Drs to ask you waht you think its wrong. I was asked similar last week - albeit slightly more sophisticated wording ('Now what is your understanding of where we are?')I think they probably do this to check out your grasp of the situation and whether you've got a brain! Which is understandable. I'm refining my response to this question to give it more clout and influence next time I'm asked! (Eg I'll include how many weeks this has dragged on for and that I still haven't got a date for one of my scans, grr.

I finally got to a bookshop yesterday and bought a pile of books including a few from the list on here. Its so nice that I can read again now. And I've taken no painkillers for 2 days and 2 nights - [proud face emoticon] However I do have a strange tendon running right across my armpit which I'm sure wasn't there before and doesn't seem to stretch very far - pity really.

Am going to tidy up the Xmas decorations now - they've been scattered about on the attic floor for long enough.

Hi, hope everyone is feeling OK today, sorry about your client Cakes that does sound strange.

SR - I had the stringy tendon thing, but eighteen months on it has improved a lot. Once you have healed and are able to move more freely it will help I think.
at Christmas decs. I have just taken down DD's birthday cards (B'day at end of Dec!)

I'm aiming for an early night. Long day at the hospital. They were running an hour and a half late, the bloods taken by the med student yesterday had mysteriously disappeared. And it took four attempts to get a cannula in my hand for my treatment.
When I got home I was fit for nothing but lying on the settee and watching Midsommer Murders

kk- sounds crap! lay on the sofa demanding chocolate and ice-cream, always works for me

i have dyed my hair (or what hair i still have ) dark reddish browny colour- haven't coloured it for nearly three years, and painted my nails a purple colour (we are going to sil's tomorrow and she is uber-groomed so i thought i ought to make an effort to at least prevent myself from looking like something the cat dragged in)! also picked up my new glasses and they make me look all stern and sophisticated so i may have to grown up! new day new RWU, i am making a very late resolution, i am going to make an effort with my appearance- infact its a lent thing, i am giving up looking like a bag of shite !!! it will probably last as long as my last lent idea (giving up choc) all of about an hour when dh found me raiding the fridge for nutella

make over sounds ace RWU !
I have been chocolate free now for what is it ? 2 days - not missing it yet.
So sorry that treatment was horrid KK - RWU's idea sounds just the ticket.
Cakes - how awful about your client
We should be up in Notts with MIL but dh was worried about severe weather warnings so we aren't - feel horribly bad abot it as MIL and co are really disappointed and ds is too. I feel bad too because it's kind of a relief for me as I find the leaving the house bit so difficult.Just feel horribly guilty.

don't feel guilt mas, surely people will understand that the last thing you need is to be stuck somewhere in a snow blizzard!

2 days without chocolate you are good! i'd need resucitating if i left it that long- tis like a drug addiction for me, and in much the same way as drugs i find the cheap stuff just doesn't do it lol!

I'm doing lent in reverse - just had a glass of alcohol for first time in a month! Lovely damson gin we made ourselves. After a month of alcohol-abstinence I couldn't resist it. Think it must be some sort of compulsion that kicks in when I stop taking the painkillers.

Thanks for the comment about the strange armpit string! Reassuring its not just me. Perhaps if we got together we could play a tune on our strings ouch!

did anyone else watch the gyspy weddings thing........................... [vom]

I forgot to watch that RWU -grrr
and thanks for the reassurance - I just feel bad for everyone. Chocolate is my real pleasure,along with good coffee and of course a nice glass of wine -I have choc every day so I guess it counts if I give it up. A friend is giving up choc and alcohol. Once a gave up crisps, but that wasn;t too bad,though I love crisps too
SR and all undergoing treatment are exempt from Lent ! hope the damson gin did the trick -is it like sloe gin ?
I do remember feeling tendon like 'strings' under my breast and under arm for a while.

Yup I had the string thing too, it does go, just keep gently doing those exercise things if possible.

Bugger, forgot the gypsy wedding thing. Was it totally cringetastic?

MAS - don't be guilty you are so right about the not going to Notts thing - I am between you and them and it was a total white-out here yesterday. The M42 was at a standstill.

We have also given up chocolate (apart from the biscuits I had yesterday - don't tell d - it's not my fault I am trying to write a very grown-up report, which is not really my thing)

HI, yes sloe gin is similar and same gorgeous colour. We picked the damsons last September, and then with my DD and a friend we sat round the kitchen table pricking them with cocktail sticks. Its was fun and a bit witchy!! Then you put the fruit with sugar, crushed almonds and loads of gin into bottles for 3 months, occasioanlly shaking gently. Then you filter it and slurp it up. Was great at Christmas.

Something has done the trick after a slightly down week for me. Could be the gin - could be the 2 nice strong coffees I had today, plus after my 3rd chasing phone call I've got my CT scan brought forard to Monday so that there is at least a chance we'll have the results of this and bone scan for my review with onc. consultant on Friday. Plus, weather permitting I'm escaping for the w/eto near Aberystwyth. PLus have finally managed to buy 2 comfortable bras. Not easy to find sports bras in size 40A.

Have a good w/e everyone, and hoping BB and Pennies are reasonably comfortable.

Tell me about it sandripples - 40A here too. It was a nihghtmare.

Glad you are feeling better, have a good weekend, and thinking of you for Monday.

xx

Back home.

Shattered.

The plan: Glass of wine, with aubergine parmigiana whilst watching Eastenders. Bed.

Lent. Hmmmm. I gave up having boobs.

Love to you all. RWU - loving the hair and nails.

oooh- sandripples where are you going? spill i am in Aber

aww Pennies
Am going to watch 'Enders too.
Apparently lots of snow in Leicestershire so feel that we weren't being wusses -we went out to a nice NT garden today and looked at snowdrops.
Damson gin does sound good.
Good news about scan being brought forward and the bras
Have lovely weekend - you might see RWU !

Borth is lovely! have a great time- i am not sure what is happening tomorrow i know i have parties to get the kids to but without consulting the oracle Joggler i struggle! i shall take the number and save in my phone now....... done! now report that post to hq so your number isn't on show!

Oh and you have good taste in tea-rooms- does the best hot choc in town!!

how exciting if you get to meet !!

Wine, damson gin and chocolate - I am practically drooling here. My mum made raspberry gin for Christmas last year and it was brilliant. fave chocolate is from Roccocos in london - I stock up whenever I am down. maybe I shouldn't be mentioning that since some of you are off choc for lent??

Did anyone see the gypsy wedding thing? I recorded it but haven't manged to get round to watching it. The reviewer in the paper today slated it - probably means I will enjoy it!

Had chemo 5 today - no bother - got a vein first time. i am on steroids for a week now so wont be able to sleep and will be eating like a pig again.... Never mind - only one more chemo to go!!

Hope all you ladies are feeling a bit better and looking forward to a good weekend (especially RWU and SR if you mange to meet up)

glad chemo 5 was ok haggis..
I used to loiter in Roccoco when I was working on Kings Rd-it was started up by a girl who was at art school with me,on Foundation course - I didn't know her very well but she certainly has been a big success !

Ooh how exciting - a potential meet up how lovely if you can manage.

Hope you are feeling OK Pennies - its good to be home - and a bit easier to sleep I hope.

One more to go Haggis - well done, you are nearly there.

Sorry you couldn't get to Leicester MAS, but you're very wise in this weather. Hope you have a fun weekend at home.

I'm so tired at the moment, this treatment seems to have knocked me out - I get the odd one does that. We're going to see DS in a play tonight, and DH has suggested a pub supper before hand, sounds good - hope I can stay awake!

My Dad may get home next week fingers crossed. He's back on oral AB's for the pneumonia which he seems to have recovered well from. So feeling a bit less anxious about him

Have a good weekend all.

Have a nice night KK, hope you can keep the eyes open.

Very re the meet up, hope it can be achieved.

Glad you got your treatment Haggis, and glad you are home Pennies. Get lots of rest.

Slept terribly! Where's the justice in that?! I normally sleep on my front and find lying on my back really uncomfy. Also it is sore from where the drains were taken out and the whole area feels mightily bruised so lying on my side isn't even an option. Oh well, with every day it will get a bit better so I can manage that.

Inspired by RWU today I have taken up knitting. I am bloody rubbish at it but i've learnt to cast on and do plain knit and purl. DD1 wants to learn as well but she's a little too impatient to focus on it.