TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

how did it go Cakes ? did they do all that jargon bit ? did you just have a bit of blue paper to cover your modesty ?

Blue paper? What blue paper? Could I have had blue paper? And where would I have put it? A bit over each nipple?

I was topless but dressed on the bottom half - I must say it is a bit unnerving lying there with two women eyeing up my chest so closely and getting rulers out all over the place.

But other than that it was fine, thanks. I found it a bit difficult as I have a painful hip (GP says it's bursitis but I say that's crap) - but anyway it makes it uncomfortable for me to lie on my back, so found holding the position mighty sore.

The jargon was a bit offputting, and my boob was a bit overwarm for a few hours, but it seemed fine. Just glad to be getting on with it (and I know I am going to get burned later, so will start to feel cheesed off, but even so - looking forward to the end!!)

Hope everyone is doing OK!

oh,no blue paper ? There was always a torn off bit of that blue paper roll you lie on,draped across the top of the chair- I clasped that to my chest,only to have it moved seconds later as I lay exposed. I surprised myself at my being able to stay still as I am not very good at that -was terrified of getting told off/having the wrong bit zapped !! Hope your hip doesn't become too uncomfortable.

Oh, No, they did not give me a piece to clutch to my chest! Gits!!

Yes, I was worried about getting the wrong bit zapped as well. It is hard to stay still, isn't it. Especially whent hey talk to you. For some reason I feel the urge to move as soon as I start to answer.

Think I'll take some paracetomol before I go - that'll ease the hip a bit.It's something else I need to see the doctor about - may have to rent out my own chair in the waiting room the way i am going.

Glad you've got the first one under your belt Cakes - how many are you having in total? Mine was fifteen IIRC. Am of your blue paper MAS, total toplessness at my hospital. Mind you I was beyond caring by then! We did have a moving mural of flowers/trees etc. on the ceiling to pass the time while being zapped. (boasting about mural emoticon)

Anyway hope it continues to go well, will be good to get it out of the way.

yes,we had pretty things look at on the ceiling (flowers,leaves) sometimes they played music too (there was REM at my planning) It also got very chilly sometimes in there,with the air con on high (it was summer then)

Well now I am pissed off! No blue paper here, and no pretty mural either. We did get music but it was some Motown compilation that made me want to bop about not lie still

I am also having 15. 14 to go! Yay!

It has been total toplessness all the way during my treatment, but then oncologist said my surgery was "cosmetically excellent" {proud of baps emoticon] so maybe I should just swan out into the waiting room next time! Arf!!

arf ! I'm quite pleased with my scars as they do seem neat -was an oncoplastic surgeon so should be ! Also had 15 zaps too.

Oncoplastic?? Crikey, am jealous now! Mine isn't that good, it is just that it is underneath, so not very visible when upright. Am finding the smellies-less thing a bit yukky, like you MAS I like a nice smelly. especially soaps and body lotions. Aqueous doesn't quite cut it for me, though i can see it is quite effectime.

DD wants to buy me some smellies for Christmas to celebrate, as she knows I hate not using them now. Bless!

(She finds out what part she has in the Xmas play this week - it is 'Christmas with the Aliens' apparently (???!!) - she is torn between wanting the starring role and shynesss so we shall see which wins out! She was mortified last year because she had some lines but someone else kept saying them - they were eventually given to the girl who would not shut up to iron out any confusion - but they were said so quietly that no-one could hear them, meanwhile dd was left looking disgruntled and silently shaking a stick of bells) I was still proud...

Actually, just realised my comment at the beginning is pretty tactless if anyone is waiting for surgery. Although I meant it jokily. I'll get it deleted.

Sorry

Didn't see it KurriKurri. Don't worry, it is surprisingly easy to put your foot in it, isn't it? Been there many times....

thanks, -wasn't terrible, a joke against myself really, but inappropriate and less bad in my head than written down. Note to self - think before you press the send button!

didn't see it KurriKurri - am sure no one else did - don't fret
I sometimes get terrible urges to post something dreadful on an irritating thread (not this one, of course !!) and have to be quite stern with myself

hope dd gets her part Cakes - ds was always overlooked as he is so quiet, not that he'd perhaps want to be in a play - he probably would have if asked but would never ever volunteer. Am longing for the day he sings solo in a school concert - I'd die of pride I think !! Oddly for a quiet,shy boy he is totally unselfconscious when singing.
As for smelly things - yay ! my current thing is for Lush Snowcake soap,which is like almonds and marzipan - delicious- it's the only thing in Lush that smells nice individually -I am quite fond of the generic Lush 'odour' as it reminds me of ds who loves it in there

Ooh yes I can imagine that smells great! I have a perfume that I love which DD says makes her feel sick (Guerlain Acqua Allegoria 'Pamplelune' if at all interested) but I can't stop wearing it. It's all sort of orangey and sunshiney - yum!

I have a great picture of your DS (with the lovely name) singing solo - hope it happens one day. it is great if they have something they can lose themselves in, and which they won't let their friends put them off doing.

DD fancies herself as Esther Williams. Give her a swimming pool and she is in heaven (still needs quite a lot of supervision, though!)

I must say I am intrigued by KurriKurri's comment. Would love to have seen before it went.

ds likes Clinique's Aromatics elixir which I used to really like but find far too pungent these days - he used to call it my going out perfume as I squirted it on before leaving the house !! Am intruiged also by KurriKurri's post

How weird! I also used to love that, but also now find it too pungent. Recently pulled a pair of gloves out of the drawer that still smelled of it, only a bit more muted - was quite nice like that!

I'm just back from taking DD to the station and then went to doctor's for my swine flu jab. having a quick sit down and cuppa before taking dog to the vet's later - it's all one big social whirl here!

Sorry about the remark - I know its annoying to be wondering, it was a stupid throw away comment about the appearance of my scar, part of my way of dealing with my changed body is to make rather grim jokes about it to DH. But forgot they might not be to everyone's taste. You probably wouldn't have been bothered by it, but I'd hate anyone in our situation to read the thread and be upset by something silly I'd written.

Hope DD gets the part she wants Cakes, and your DS sounds lovely MAS, there's something very angelic about boys singing.

I find perfume doesn't seem to last on me since I had chemo etc. Either my skin has changed in some way, or my sense of smell, if its the latter I probably reek, as I keep putting it on until I can smell it!

blimey- you lot are chatty today! Glad rads are ok for you cakes- bit jealous about the ceiling entertainment- i was reading the warning labels on the machinery to pass time

Bit p'd off today, friends wedding is at the end of the month so i treated myself (well barclaycard treated me ) to acrylic nail extensions- figured i could get an problems sorted and have an infill before the big day as i find they are always better after the first infill- so trotted off dd in tow, had them put on and polished, buffed etc- looked gorgeous- classic french manicure. Technician (who is a good friend) put on some almond oil, whilst we had a natter then rubbed on a load of hand cream- as she was massaging it in all the acrylic was popping off. We were both upset as we know its not her or the products- it must be my nails during the chemo so i am now nail-less again- i', going back in on Friday to try gel but i'm not too hopeful!

On a plus side, i finished the wedding dress earlier, now i just have to make up my dress and see if dh can pin up the hem straight

you've made a dress ? wow ! clever thing - am rubbish at any needlecrafts !! how disappointing about nails though -I've never had a manicure or any naily things -don't they feel weird ? I sometimes try to put nail varnish on my finger nails but can't bear the feeling so take it off again ! Toenails are different for some reason.
KurriKurri - hope swine flu jab was ok.
Ds says his choir is learning The Lord is my Shepherd and also a Take That song - they tend towards the contemporary,poppy things as it encourages kids to want to be in the choir...they did an Amy Winehouse medley a concert or two ago which worked well,though some folk disapprove. He is very sweetly angelic at 12,but I wonder how it might change over the next year or so !

Ooh RWU -you have brought back memories - I made my own wedding dress (it was not, I hasten to add a big elaborate number, more 'the dress I wore when I got married') You sound like a much more talented dressmaker than me, hope you have a lovely time - I love a good wedding! Sorry about the nail problem, hope it gets sorted on Friday.

Flu jab was a bit more sore than ordinary flu one. And I've had a bit of a temperature this evening, but apart from that nothing too awful so far.

Had to get the dogs pills from the vet - she has a chronic skin problem it has been treated as an allergy, but vet now thinks it may be a thyroid problem as she has some dark patches on her skin, so will probably do some blood tests. She also has cateracts - which I suspected, she is quite a little old lady at twelve and a half

Love the sound of the Amy Winehouse medley MAS, I think its great when children enjoy music, it brings such pleasure. When she was still at school my DD used to play accompaniment for an old people's choir, she really enjoyed it, they used to sing all sorts of stuff, and had a great time.

i was taught from an early age to follow a dress pattern- twas relativly easy tbh!
this one

oh poor dog
hope you don't feel too rotten KurriKurri-after the jab.
A few years ago I had the pneumococcal jab which made me feel pretty yuck - I wasn't expecting to feel bad, but I guess they are sticking something nasty in to fight off the real nasty things.