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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

TAMOXIFEN THREAD HERE ***

985 replies

MaryAnnSingleton · 06/11/2009 09:41

Am sick of my messages never getting through - I have had 7 attempts to reply to Cakes' last post- am starting a new thread ....
this is what I wrote anyway.....

righto, this i my 7th attempt to reply on this thread - everything keeps disappearing !
My assessment is on 25th,and am told to allow two hours for it,crikey !!
Saw a lady in town yesterday who was having rads and finished at about the same time as me and she's just seen the onc. for her follow up - they are running very behind I know- so I emailed to ask about mine - I tie myself in knots in trying to be assertive yet not too needy or a nuisance - I suppose I just like to feel that everything is done in order. Am not worrying about my health -am sure breast is fine and dandy, it's more my emotional state which troubles me.
Anyway, they have made me an appointment but it's at the same time as my assessment so have emailed back and left a phone message...arghh !
Special thoughts for RWU today and of course KurriKurri - hope all ok..and of course you Cakes and Morph.

OP posts:
Cakesandale · 09/02/2010 14:32

Yay! clean bill of health for the car!

All that and nice clothes too! Today is a good day! Have a sleep while you can.

reallywoundup · 09/02/2010 14:47

and the saga of RWU continues! news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/mid/8506374.stm this is the nursery that ds2 and ds4 attended- ds4 only left in September so we have been called to have a chat with the police liason team- just had the call tis all kicking off here!

Cakesandale · 09/02/2010 15:01

Bloody hell! I was just reading about that! Hope you have no reasons for suspicion in your own family's case. Poor, poor family that is involved

Bang goes your sleep as well!

Pennies - sorry, meant to say, that does souond like a hard visit to the BC nurses. Thinking of you, take it easy. xx

KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 15:34

How awful RWU

reallywoundup · 09/02/2010 15:35

i don't quite know what to think atm- unfortunatly i know a lot of parent's who's dc's STILL go there so i guess i should count my blessings that mine have all left, but we aren't being told anything iyswim. I want to know if it is a longstanding member of staff or not. We are having a visit from child protection service and police liason tonight once the kids are in bed, they will explain what is going to happen next as someone will have to talk to the dc's (only ds4 in our case we think) they are also visiting two doors down who's ds currently attends the nursery- she's (the mum) in bits and hasn't left the house or spoken to anyone since yesterday as she's so distraught, she came and collapsed on me at the school when i went to get the boys (as you said bang went my sleep so i went up to see if i could find out anything as the nursery is attached to the school- tis also RC!)!

KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 15:49

Oh RWU, what a nightmare - I don't know what to say, thinking of you and your family, and the other families affected xxxx.

sandripples · 09/02/2010 17:04

SEnding virtual support your way RWU - I had not yet heard about this (was having a no news day today as had other activities). Hoping your DCs have had nothing untowrad going on anywhere near them.

Yes, how difficult for all the families affected, even slightly.

Nurse says I still have to continue daily packing and dressing - I wonder how long this will take - no-one knows.

I bought lovely ready made but home made food at the farm shop today so tea is really easy. Spent more than I normally would but hey I haven't been to the shops for over 3 weeks!

Congrats re the MOT.

reallywoundup · 09/02/2010 17:11

it's made the sun homepage now

MaryAnnSingleton · 09/02/2010 18:18

oh God RWU - how dreadful..,hope you are ok.
Glad the MOT was fine.

OP posts:
Pennies · 09/02/2010 20:20

OMG RWU - what an utter nightmare for you. You must be so worried by that. I work in a nursery and it absolutely leaves me reeling that this can happen in a setting such as that.

haggisdoodle · 09/02/2010 21:14

Hello ladies,
only been gone a few days yet so much seems to have been happening with you all - especially RWU... as if you didn't have enough on your plate at the moment! Pennies and SR - you too seem to be having a tough time. SR, I just realised last week that I can put on my socks no bother at all now and have no pain in my arm. I had a wound infection too and thought it would never clear. I hated the exercises but persevered and its fine now but I remember thinking it would never get better.
Have been off line for a few days because went rapidly down hill last week after Monday - finally went to the chemo nurses to see if I needed a blood test. After 8 hours sitting in a chair I finally got blood tests and X-ray - had chest infection and gunky throat (not sure if that is SE or due to infection - suspect SE because nose the same and very bleedy). I can't seem to get out of the bit just now - so frustrating. Never mind it was a better day today and I sowed some Hellebore seeds in the greenhouse and made out a list of garden jobs to do. I have as usual bought far too many seeds but better to have them just in case I get a burst of energy! If by some miracle i am full of energy im March and April this could be my best ever garden/allotment year....

reallywoundup · 09/02/2010 22:48

right i done the crying thing for a few hours, now and i've moved on to being angry. we had our visit, they basically won't give any details away, they won't say who, what the allegation is, whether it is one child or more, whether it has been going on for a long time, or a one-off incident.

they care for up to 20 kids at each session and because of the session rotation etc there are 86 children currently on the books. plus in the last year there have been another 113 children who have been on the books. The children currently at the school will be spoken to first, then the children who have left in the last year and then they may need to speak with children that left before that time

so there is a possibility that both ds2 and ds4 will have to be spoken to. when they are spoken to there will be a police liason officer, child protection officer, social worker and a child psychologist- and as parents we are not allowed to be present (which although is heart wrenching, i can understand) we will not know what has been said by the children until a formal report of the interview is written- we will then get a copy which will be about a week after the interview. In the meantime we are not to talk to the children about the school or ask them any questions (again, going to be very hard BUT i can understand in a way)

So the nitty gritty bit is that in Ceredigion we only have 1 child psychologist who is able to do this kind of interview- so it could be months before dd4 gets spoken to, even longer for ds2!

aaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhhhh! i couldn't care bloody less about the fecking mot now, i really want a hole in the ground to open up why me? and why the hell has a tv production company not sent cameras round to make my life into a soap opera- it feels like it most of the time (but i guess people would say it was totally unbelievable )

KurriKurri · 09/02/2010 23:30

Oh RWU, what can I say? my heart goes out to you and your Dh and little ones. xxxxxx

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/02/2010 07:24

this is shittiness beyond all comprehension - I echo what KK has said and am thinking of you
Forgive the flippant remark about the MOT being ok- stupid of me to even consider it being worth mentioning in the light of this crap. Lots of love x

OP posts:
reallywoundup · 10/02/2010 09:29

oh mas- don't feel bad, that wasn't aimed at you, twas just that i had a good day up until we got the call and i was so chuffed that the car hadn't needed any work, and i was still looking at that beautiful pile of clothes and thinking how lovely people were.

it was on gmtv this morning and all the major news bulletins. front page of the local rag and everyone at the schools are talking in hushed whispers. we are having a telly ban- dc's are only allowed cbeebies and cbbc- if we watch anything news like it must be in the kitchen with them safely in the living room or play-room.

have a mass meeting with other parents later- arranged by us at one of the local pubs, i think we all just need to get together and collectivly feel like we aren't the only ones iyswim. we won't get anything sorted or done, but i think just meeting up with some of the others will help (plus the alcohol may help)

Cakesandale · 10/02/2010 10:00

By the time they get round to talking to the kids it'll be too far back for them even to remember!

So, so sorry for all of you that are involved (but especially the RWU family of course), what an unbelievably shitty thing.

I hope the camaraderie and the booze help later.

Haggis - you were missed, sounds like it has been a duff week for you too. But well done for persevering with the exercises, it does suddenly seem to come right, after weeks of frustration.

The gardening will be very grounding (if you pardon the pun, fnaargh) and if you run out of places to plant things I can always find a few more for you. my garden is ruinous, couldn't get round to it at all last year (don't forget to wear gardening gloves to avert risk of lymphoedema [schoolmarmish emoticon] )

reallywoundup · 10/02/2010 10:29

by the sounds of it there is a computer and a phone involved- one of the other mums has just contacted me. also rumour has it that it was the playgroup leader who phoned the police. BUT nothing has been confirmed so we still really know nothing, i guess there will be lots of stories coming out- many of which will be bollocks!

Sorry to be so self involved atm, tbh none of the other posts have even gone in yet but love to everyone- especially those who are not having a great time at the moment. i will catch up and find out what you have all been up to but i need to get my head into some kind of order first.

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/02/2010 10:47

RWU
Sorry-wasn't ignoring you haggis- hope you are feeling a bit better after nasty chest and throat..gardening sounds lovely though.

OP posts:
sandripples · 10/02/2010 11:25

What a nightmare RWU. I have had some involvement with investigations into abuse from the angle of employment as I work in HR (although nothing as potentially big as this) so yes like you say, the protocols are there for understandable reasons, but it must be very hard that you can't be with your DCs at the interview, or discuss with pothers v much.

Can't Ceredigion hire a psychologist from another local authority so that this does not take longer than necessary? Or take on a free lance eg someone recently retired? Might be worth suggesting?

It could indeed be that this was whistle-blown by another colleague, and if so, well doen to that person.

I suppose if you feel your DC are their normal selves that would provide some comfort. Sorry - that sounds pathetic, but I do hope they are their usual selves despite what is going on.

Haggis - hoping the infection clears up asap - sounds horrid.

I hope to be doing more gardening than usual if I'm up to it this year and bought 2 pairs of tough gloves! I'm going to find someone who can cut our hedges as I think I'll bow out of that huge chore for the foreseeable. Then I could do the gently pottering bits.

One of you said would be starting chemo perhaps same time as me - was it you Pennies? I still don't have a start date but reckon it won't be till March. I found some useful tips on the BCC site and have thought of starting a new thread on there for buddies starting around the same time. There is a thread like that but its all done now for those women so a fresh thread might be better. Will let you know if I do this, if no-one else has started a new one within about a month.

I'm starting to stock up on things people say can help during chemo eg pineapple, ginger in all forms, liquorice, mini-milks, scarves.

I recommend Deborah Moggach short stories for pleasant, quirky little reads. A friends lent me them and I've got back into reading - hurray . Must stop rambling.

pranma · 10/02/2010 11:35

Just to say I am still here and reading all the posts.I have been spending time with a friend who is approaching time to enter a hospice.She had bc twice then developed renal/bladder cancer and is terminal.The onc says there is no connection but her two lots of chemo for bc may have masked the other for a while.It is so sad,she is only 48-3 dc and 2 dgc.Forgive me if I seem neglectful of your problems.I do care.
Re chemo-fizzy water,well chilled is often palatable when other drinks arent.Its good to suck ice-lollies[take in flask]during chemo as it helps prevent oral thrush.Let me know If I can help-I had FEC-Taxotere 4 of each.

Cakesandale · 10/02/2010 13:47

SO hard not to be able to talk to the DCs about it and try to find out if anything has happened to them. If it's any consolation (and I doubt if it will be) but I reckon you might well have had suspicions that all was not well somehow, especially with a child who is old enough to talk reasonably well. I expect someone will shout me down on that, but I shall cling to that hope for now.

Hiya pranma, was wondering about you!

re your friend.

This is a very sad and trying little corner of Mumsnet at the moment: but this too shall pass.

Cakesandale · 10/02/2010 14:07

RWU - sorry, what I meant was that I reckon you would have had suspicions IF anything had happened, and therefore, hopefully it hasn't.

MaryAnnSingleton · 10/02/2010 14:10

yep, I see what Cakes is saying.
Nice to see you pranma

OP posts:
Cakesandale · 10/02/2010 14:25

Thanks MAS

Sometimes I ramble

KurriKurri · 10/02/2010 15:48

Hello all. Thinking of you RWU, I'm sure it will be helpful to meet up with the other parents, so that you can support each other.

Sorry you've been under the weather Haggis, I hope the CI clears soon. Well done for the gardening, I always find it very relaxing, and there's a nice sense of continuity about planting seeds and watching them grow. I tried to do a bit yesterday but it was so bitterly cold, I couldn't stay out long.

So sorry about your friend Pranma, I'm sure it means a lot to her that you are able to be with her, and a comfort to her family.

SR - I am trying to think of things for your 'chemo stock', I drank a lot of fruit teas. Ginger, peppermint or lemon tea are supposed to be the best for nausea, I was told they work best if you alternate them.
You might also want some sensitive type body moisturiser.
And good to have a supply of foodstuffs such as dried apricots, prunes etc. whatever works for you.

I did aquafit and yoga today (although the yoga teacher as early so she and I went and had a large hot chocolate together. And before swimming it was one of the group's birthday so we all had cake - so I doubt I worked off any calories)

It's snowing and blowing hard here. One of my little trees looks as if it is going to lose a branch. Loads of birds outside braving the snow to get to the feeders.

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