There's nothing swede about me - 10/10

[BBBee]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page

As in, works with bats, is not batty himself. Well, perhaps a bit, but not in a bad way

I had a job picking lychees once. I love lychees.

Nigel Marvin is on Prehistoric Park, which manages to make the idea of travelling back to prehistoric times in order to round up dinosaurs and bring them back to study them, incredibly dull and pedestrian. Which is quite an achievement really. He hides behind bushes and says in a really dull way 'the female tyranasaurus would eat us alive if she senses we're here', and you shrug and think, ffs Nigel Marvin, she probably couldn't be arsed to eat you, you are very dull.

It's okay actually and makes you feel very virtuous. Sort of one step up from a peach.

i don't think i've ever had a good kiwi really

guad dp has gone out and i am stuck on the sofa breastfeeding with the boojas next to me

I am very prepared to be educated by your dd1 is just about anything TooT as I have a high regard for her, but might draw the line at their hairy skins.

where do kiwis come from? I might have to go there and try a real straight off the - what? treee? vine? - kiwi fruit and see what it's like.

OK. Have to go and put people to bed. Also ds1 has written a story for school, it's meant to be for 6-7 y-olds. The first paragraph says something along the lines of 'Mr Dog and Mrs Cat want their pets to have babies, but a dog can't have babies with a cat can it? Well, that's what my story is about.'

I think we might have a chat.

batty is cool

he does sound very dull indeed Boco. So why do you like him?

Doesn't everyone eat skins of kiwis?

Or am I a freak

I get frustrated that dds won't eat the skins (apparently they ar elike animals')

I don't like him Toot, I don't like him at all. dds insist that i want to kiss him in a tree, but I don't.

Kiwis taste like spoons. I don't like the metallic taste.

I worked with a woman who ate them by chopping off the top and spooning the rest out like it was a boiled egg. For some reason this really irritated me.

Have you tried eating them with a fork, Boco?

I gave up bf last night and now dd2 is ILKL and waily and shivery and red-cheeked and I will have to start again. I feel thoroughly punished and pissed off.

flipping HECK no don;t eat the skins rach
you kiwi freaks

OMG. It goes on . . .what an extraordinary idea for a story.

The dog likes the cat but he is embarassed 'if he showed his feelings but on that day he decided he must look his best and went off to find his bow tie.'

Can anyone tell me why ds1 thought that a story about mating a cat and a dog might be a good idea for 6y-olds

Why oh why can't he be like Nigel Marvin? The whole tension of this story is about whether they are going to shag.

Boco, I think you protest too much.

You can only eat a kiwi like an egg if it is Far Too Ripe I think. They must be firm but not hard, and definitely not squashy. I find them quite invigorating.

toot toot we love you
you are fab to give her milk when she needs it

100x, I think it is brilliant. I think he must get his talent from you.

my ds1 would love that story 100
i think he understands the 6 yr old psyche better than us

No guad, do you eat kiwis with a spoon too then? You peel it, because the skin is not to be eaten, then slice. But really what's the point when they taste like spoons.

Do you really love me? Even though I am standing here typing and ignoring my small neglected daughter?

I cut them in half and eat with a spoon generally.

What on earth is wrong with spoons? They are served with all soups and many puddings.

Don't you lose a lot Guad? Better to peel v thinly surely.

Aw, 100 it sounds great, ds1 is burgeoning! And how lovely that he'd have putting on a bow tie as a mating ritual! This is good because it means he's having awakenings, but with bow ties, he won't actually be on the pull for a while, and he still sees girls as another species. You should be reassured, yet proud.

ds1 walked round the duck pond yesterday (sorry 100 minor bird reference again) saying "i want to see if ducks have a penis. i can't see it but they have to get the seeds in the egg somehow. you said the man dog climbs up on the female dog's back to put the seed in mummy! like he is having a ride! ha ha i wonder if ducks do that!"

in the way only an unself conscious 5 year old can when surrounded by grannies feeding the ducks

No. I just scrape very closely. Sometimes I scrape too close and pierce the skin and then feel cross, similar to when the film won't peel off a boiled egg and the shell pulls out the middle and the yolk spills out. So annoying.

LOL at duck dicks.