My mum is 64, a smoker and a diabetic who since October has been on insulin, she has a very badly infected foot ulcer and has been told she will need a triple by pass as she is all blocked up in her aorta and tummy and legs.
She was in hospital for 3 weeks in October and was told she must stop smoking but has not and will not.
Her foot got bad over Christmas and so we took her back to the hospital and she has been admitted again, today the Dr has said that if they have to remove her leg she will not make it through the op, she needs the by pass to get the blood flowing better before anything can be done but she is not fit enough for the by pass, so if they do the by pass she will most likely die on the table the same as the leg, with out the by pass she will die as her heart will give out.
I am so so sad, I don't know what to do, mum has always had a morbid fear of dying and has had several breakdowns thinking she was going to die, as yet the Dr has not told mum any of the above, I know she is going to go off the scale when she is told...that will be tomorrow, my cousin who is a nurse practitioner is driving half way across the country to tell mum as we don't want the Drs to do it alone and I am a coward.
My sister and I have no idea how to help and it all seems so bleak right now, I don't want my mum to die, I love her.
My whole life is a mess right now and I really don't think I can cope any more, selfish I know.
It is a rock and a hard place as far as mums health goes. I am surrounded by people but I feel so so alone.
Just venting here really, if you got this far, thank you xx