Nothing more they can do for DH

[MummyDoIt]

The title says it all, really. We saw his oncologist yesterday. The last lot of chemo did no good at all and he's deteriorating fast. There are no other types of chemo available and, even if there were, he's not well enough to tolerate any further treatment. All they can do now is alleviate his symptoms as best they can and wait for the inevitable. I asked how long he had and the doctor said, 'months, not years, and probably not as many months as you would like'. Up until now, I've been telling the DSs that we hope Daddy will get better. Now I'm going to start saying that Daddy will not get better. Yesterday, I had to call MIL and tell her that her eldest son probably won't live to see Christmas.

so sorry MDI

So sorry to hear this.

I'm glad that you were asetive at the GPs, and I'm really proud of you.....its hard to be assetive when you are sick with worry.

The Mac nurse should give you a green card which will fast track you, particularly if you have problems out of normal surgery hours

So sorry.

Well done for sorting out the dragon receptionist but very sorry for the reason you had to do so.

could he perhaps try some complan or ready brek??? we found with mil that little tastes of what she fancied as often as she could eat went down well even a mouthful of milkshake or a teaspoon of mash all helps.

im sad thinking of you x

Oh Mummydoit, my heart is sore for you.

Dh has throat cancer so know a little of what you must be going through. Can he get Enshakes or Ensure at least they are high calorie things. The whole catch 22 of not wanting to it/ having to because of the meds/ the effort it all takes is so hard, especially with dcs to try and keep amused and things "normal" for.

I am sure MB can be of much more use than me but please CAT me if you want to talk.

Also, though i realise it's a private thing - would you want to say what area you are in just in case any of us are around and can ease the pressure by taking dcs off your hands for a day or anything else practical?

Im in South East xx

should pre-read

meant to say "the effort of not wanting to EAT/ having to ...etc

so for you MDI - make the most of the time you have together - I wish I had had more with my mum.
(((Hugs))) and prayers for you and your family.

MB - I think I was tearful rather than assertive but it did the trick anyway! I'll ask the Mac nurse about the green card. Our GP did say just to explain to the receptionist that DH is a terminal cancer patient and we'd get straight through but in this case either she didn't mention it to the doctor or the doctor ignored it (it wasn't our own GP). I don't think it was the latter as the doctor we saw is the practice palliative care specialist and she knows DH's case.

Chapstick and UniversallyChallenged, he does have the Ensure milkshake drinks which are the highest calorie drinks available, plus we have some powder called Maxijul which you can mix in to food and drink to add extra calories. He just won't bloody swallow them! It frustrates me so much as I give him the drink and he sits there holding it for literally two hours. He physically can swallow, he just says he's not hungry and it's too much effort. I've begged, nagged and pleaded with him to make more effort. Short of force-feeding him, there's nothing else I can do.

So sorry mummydoit

so sorry

So sorry to hear that mummydoit. I really hope you can have some quality time together.

So very sorry to hear about your dh, MDI. You sound tremendous - make sure you look after yourself as well.

Lots of love,

xxx

oh mummydoit
I'm so sorry to hear such sad news
Hope the time you have together as a family can be made special for your memories
Hope dh is as comfy as can be hoped
Take care x x

Went to bed thinking of you - woke up thinking of you.

How are YOU coping MummyDoIt?

sorry to hear this, heartbreaking. I have no wisdom to pass on.

Sorry if am saying the obvious MDI- just wondered why they dont insert a peg feed through his tum if he too low to eat?
At least he will get the calories then

love to you and yours

Oh MummyDoIt, I'm so sorry.

Universally, I don't think they'll do a peg if he is physically capable of swallowing. Even when his swallowing has been difficult, they've stretched the oesophagus and lasered it, rather than going for a peg. It's very much a last resort. It's also something I very much hope he never has to have. My dad, who had the same cancer, coped very well until he had the peg fitted. He then got infection after infection, got c. difficile and almost died of it. Even though he did recover, he'd become so ill that they couldn't give him any more chemo, the cancer took hold and he died in November last year. I'm convinced that if he hadn't had to have a peg, he'd have continued with his chemo and may still have been with us now. Having said that, I am going to speak to the Mac nurse today about the fact that DH won't eat and if she recommends a peg, we'll go for it.

So sorry to hear this, MummyDoIt.

It puts all our other problems into perspective.

Take care
xx

so sorry.
wishing you strength for the weeks ahead.

How have things gone today MDI? xx