Nothing more they can do for DH

[MummyDoIt]

The title says it all, really. We saw his oncologist yesterday. The last lot of chemo did no good at all and he's deteriorating fast. There are no other types of chemo available and, even if there were, he's not well enough to tolerate any further treatment. All they can do now is alleviate his symptoms as best they can and wait for the inevitable. I asked how long he had and the doctor said, 'months, not years, and probably not as many months as you would like'. Up until now, I've been telling the DSs that we hope Daddy will get better. Now I'm going to start saying that Daddy will not get better. Yesterday, I had to call MIL and tell her that her eldest son probably won't live to see Christmas.

so sorry to read this

shrinkingsagpuss, that's an interesting point about how the news might affect the sufferer. My brother definitely did something similar after being told he had no more options - he was very reclusive for a while and shut everyone out. Although he didn't say much about it, he did intimate to me later on that he'd been having trouble coming to terms with it. As anyone would, I suppose.

Sorry for the derail MDI, I know this isn't the place really. Hope the healthcare team have come back to you quickly about DH's pain relief.

MDI I am so sorry to hear this

very sorry to hear this sad news xxx

MummyDoIt, I'm so very sorry to read your news

I wish there was something I could say or do that would help. As it is, I'm very glad there are people here on MN (and in RL, obviously) who can help and think you're far from mad for posting here.

Thinking of you and your family, xxx

Oh I am so sorry dear.

I hope you know we are around if you need us xx

MummyDoIt, as MB says the pain can be sorted.

My mum died of cancer last year and she was in minimal pain right up to the end.

I hope the Mac nurses (who are fabulous) are back in touch with you.

Mummydoit, I am so sorry that your family is going through this hateful hateful disease. If your dh doesn't feel that he can speak about it, would he be open to the suggestion of writing something down for the kids?

I'm so sorry to hear this Mummydoit. I just hope you guys can have real genuine quality of life in the time you all have together.

so sorry to hear this

So sorry to hear this Mummydoit. Wishing you all strength.

so sorry to hear this Mummydoit, thinking of you and your DH and DC at this hard time.

Just wanted to send you my love and lots of hugs. xxxxxxxx

Oh my goodness, I am so, so sorry

Thinking of you and your family XXX

Thank you so much, everyone, for all your kind thoughts.

I couldn't get hold of the Mac nurse so called the GP's surgery and they told me to go straight down and they'd fit me in to see a doctor. What they didn't tell me was that I'd have to hang around, with two bored children, until the doctor felt like seeing me. We sat in the waiting room watching people come in after us and get seen before us and, when I mentioned this to the receptionist, she said it was because they had appointments and I didn't. I appreciate that people with appointments don't want to queue-jumpers but surely, if they'd intended me to wait until after all the appointments, they should have said come in at the end of surgery. I got quite upset and pointed out that I hadn't realised my husband's terminal cancer was going to get worse at short notice otherwise I would have made an appointment too. It must have had some effect as we were seen next.

We've got some steroids for DH so hopefully they will start to ease his breathing. We've also got slow-release morphine tablets so that should help the pain, particularly overnight which has been increasingly bad. The Mac nurse is coming over tomorrow to make sure the medication is all okay and we can talk things through then. DH is in good spirits considering but has only eaten a yoghurt all day. I really wish he'd eat more. He's so frail I really can't see him going on much longer unless he gets some food inside him.

Message withdrawn

I'm so sorry MummyDoIt. Thinking of you and your family and hoping you get the pain relief sorted out asap for your dh. xxx

So sorry to hear this MDI and at the way you were treated today. Hope your dh is up to eating something tomorrow to keep his strength up. I can't possibly understand how you all feel, just imagining it is awful and thoughts are with you.

Sorry MummyDoIt that today was so rough but good on you at the doctors. Hopefully the Macmillan nurses will be in tomorrow, we always found getting back to consultant care got things done.

Hope you don't mind me suggesting this when this news is so sharp, but wondered if you & the dh have thought about putting some things on camera for the dcs so they have his voice & how he speaks, his sense of humour, his favourite books to read to them etc.

Will be thinking of you.