Franny Had A Little Yam - 10/10 thingummies :o)

[TooTicky]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page.

Oh Boco I'm sorry dd2 is having more bother

TooT I empathise and sympathise with the mother thing. My Mum tends to take over somewhat too - which is why we have avoided going on holiday with her thus far. We went away with the IL's last year and they completely monopolised DD. I hardly saw anything of her . FIL kept saying "Don't feel guilty about us taking her out, we hardly see her, we are happy to take her out for the day while you and dh go off on your own". I wanted to scream "I work full time, I feel like I hardly see her too, she is my daughter you nobbo and I want to spend my precious 25 days' annual leave with her" but I didn't. Not sure why tbh. They paid for the holiday so I suppose I felt like I couldn't tell them what to do. Normally I like my inlaws but I loathed them that week. I have told dh that if they want to take dd on holiday that's fine but I am not wasting my own annual leave twiddling my thumbs while someone else gets to spend time with dd.

ie. she can go with them but I will stay at home and take a different week off to spend with her

rambles

DH andf I had lovely child free days together and it would have been fine if IL's had taken dd out by themselves for a couple of days and we had her the rest of the time but we only spent one day with her during the week.

I am not in any way bitter about last year's holiday

Oh TF, that's awful
At least I have 4dcs, so more to share around
But then she constantly thinks I'm struggling and wants to help

Yes the helpfulness can be draining can't it? My Mum does irritating helpfulness too. She can only help in her way, on her terms. Oh I could ramble on about it... but won't bore you.

Oh yes, selective helpfulness.
My mum doesn't seem to cook any more. I don't hold it against her, she seems to have totally lost confidence. But I find endless meal-cooking very draining.
She washes up but sssoooooo slowly, I think she is a bit ocd.

I feel bad now. She is a very lovely and kind person.

To clarify, I don't have to cook endlessly for her, just generally.

Oh I know what you mean - I love my Mum to bits, she's had a shit time of it over the last few years and has come out fighting so I admire her for that.

But

She gets on my tits at times

I saw my mum yesterday, we went to her house, it was hot so she got out the hosepipe and suggested the children play with the water - so my dds and their two cousins stripped off and all had a great time squealing and spraying each other while my mum stayed inside saying 'I can't stand that noise! Can you please get them to stop squealing! It's an awful noise, tell them they can't squeal why are they making so much noise?!'

Can you imagine trying to persuade a 6 year old, two 3 year olds and a toddling one year old that they can do naked hosepipe spraying but must do it without squealing? It's not going to happen.

I love listening to children squealing in the garden. Our next door neighbours' dd is about 7 or 8 and comes to play with my dd sometimes - they were playing in dd's paddling pool yesterday and having a whale of a time. I agree, playing with water is an activity that requires squealing, especially from toddlers and little girls.

Oh that reminds me - dd is having ishoos about being left out by the older girls in our street. There are about three or four of them, aged from about 7 to 10 who knock around together. Sometimes they are happy to play with dd (just 4) but other times they don't want to play with a little one and go off and play somewhere else. We live on a quiet cul-de-sac so they just roam freely, flitting from garden to garden, which is great but dd isn't old enough (imo) to be allowed to run with them. She gets so upset when they go off somewhere else but I won't let her go off by herself and I can't follow them round everywhere (too time consuming and possibly v odd behaviour on my part if I did). Poor dd was distraught last night, proper wails and heart rending sobs because they went off somewhere to play and she couldn't go with them. What do you think? What to do? Obviously I don't think that the older girls should be forced into playing with dd at all times but she gets so sad when they disappear. Shall I start a thread?

lumme you all talked lots
trying to catch up
have had overly handsome man called Tom looking up my fanjo with a torch
they shouldn't let doctors be young and very tall and very handsome and have very piercing blue eyes and called Tom and look up your fanjo with a torch
they just shouldn't

I agree Franny - you don't want a young attractive doc called Tom looking up your fanjo with a torch.

I can't keep up with thread either

it's a universal truth
I shall submit it for tip of the day

Did he have a twinkle?

poor dd2, Boco and lol at 'stop them squealing'. Bit like saying 'make that river flow uphill' really.

TF and TooT, grrrr on your behalf at various difficult traits of mothers. TF, poor dd - I wish I could think of something useful to suggest but I think a lot of it is the almost-inevitable pain of being the littlest in any group If they include her sometimes and are not malicious towards her I think there's not much to be done. Any similarly-aged children anywhere around? Wish I could be more helpful.

I have made redcurrant, apricot and banana flapjacks. Am on my own with ds2 - dh has taken ds1 to his institute and thence to his parents, who live near there.

Franny, did he find anything interesting up there?

TF don't know what to suggest. Perhaps you'll get a nice new neighbour with a 4yo [hopeful]
Perhaps keep particular activities she likes for those moments?

Bero, they sound like amazing flapjacks

Oh, and the water but no squealing thing is just insane. Boco, next time try squirting your mum and see if she squeals.

That's exactly the problem - they are lovely and kind and play with her sometimes but quite understandably they don't want to all the time. Distraction did not work at all. Even the offer of a lollipop (usual last resort) didn't work. Poor dd, hopefully she will get used to it . When she's a couple of years older she will be able to join in properly but I suspect that by then the older ones may be beyond the age of playing with swings and pretending to ride horses. This is the stuff they don't put in parenting manuals isn't it?

Perhaps Tom has an easier time looking up ladies' fanjos than perhaps a stern old harridan named Mrs Smythe-I'm-far-too-important-to-tell-you-my-first-name would do. Which is why they let him do it.

Am at work so sneaking on and at Tom

I had someone look up my fanjo today only she wasn;t called Tom and I didn;t notice what colour eyes she had...

Gosh Toot, def get to bed earlier. Sorry about mum woes. Mine comes on Thursday so I share your angst. Mine is lovely, really.

Boco, I have all sorts of nasty steroid creams that I am, in principle, against but which work wonders. Hope DD2 gets better soon.

LOL @ no squealing children with a hosepipe

I don't know what you do about DD and the older children, TF. I suppose it is one of those things you have to learn about at some point - that you won't always be included. But it isn't easy or nice. Poor DD2.

Off to beach for more hole-digging

I don't know what colour eyes Catharine has and she is not very handsome. Probably best when she is peering up my fanjo with a torch. I'll have Catharine over Tom, any day.

The bee man says we are better off leaving the nest as the bees are in decline. I mentioned that it was on the ground near the ladder to the climbing frame and he said that even if they get stung, it doesn't hurt that much.

There are a couple of houses for sale on our street. Perhaps I should stalk the potential buyers and put off any that don't have 4yo girls

What sort of bees? I like bees.