NEW THREAD FOR OJ - REST IN PEACE STEVE - STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR OJ AND THE CHILDREN

[Buda]

Hope this is ok - both other threads seem to be full or almost full now.

We are all thinking of you Jo.

Trifles and rum and bubbles at the ready.

Thanks for that Whooosh, it is like I say to Jo she is such a wonderful caring person that it is so easy to be friends with her. She has and is coping with so much and any part I can play in that is my pleasure. You guys are all such a support, maybe more than you reaslise.

I know how special she is but you are too .....Mmmm banana liquer....

God-have just re-read las post and it sounds awful-was meant to be humerous but may have failed .

Humourous

whoosh - I giggled!!!

Hope Izzy's foot is Ok Tracey?

( the bandages sould be gold-thread for the price you paid!!! [shock!!])

this week is a personal challenge.
Many years ago when I was young free and single I had very little confidence to do anything on my own, I was scared of my own shadow, so I decided I had to do something to show myself that I could cope on my own.
So I went backpacking around turkey on my own camping on beaches all by myself, got myself a job helping on a tourist boat for a few days, and found an inner strengh I didn't know I had. I came back feeling I could tackle anything
Well this trip is very similar, at home we have been protected by people we have had lots of people around to see that we are managing.
Here this week it is just me and the kids no option for a mate to pop round for coffee/rum, it does feel odd and lonely at night, all the memories from here have Steve in them which is nice in one way but hard in another.
but if we can do this week then I know we can face the other challenges life presents us with.
< note to challenge setters, can we have a gentle challenge next time please ( three legged race maybe?) as this one has been a bit of a bastard >

Thinking of you and the kids....

OJ

You have come so far, in such a short space of time. I am so very proud of you.

OJ you are doing soooooooooo well. Rum infused hugs

OJ - what a great way to think about things ..in terms of challenges. Hope you and the kids have some good times this week. I think you are doing fantastically.

had a good day yesterday, the kids pottered round the pool until after lunch when we had to go to the shop, beth refused to come and to make it very clear she hid, not very hard to find her when she was shouting you won't find me in this wardrobe!
it was beth choice for food lastnight and she once again chose Mcds we sat outside on the sea wall just where we did the ashes and had chocolate and banana pancakes, I had baileys in mine thou!
The kids all waved to their Dad and elliot told him not to worry as he promises to look after us all.
I slept really well last night as did the kids.
Today I feel peaceful and stronger.

Hiya OJ. So good to hear from you.

We went to Tenerife for Christmas the year my DS3 was killed so I can understand your 'challenge' so much. I spent the first few days running out of bars in tears - every time I saw a little boy dance and he reminded me of Matt. BUT we did it - I suppose that is what life is all about - coping, onwards and upwards and all that crap nonsense.

Dont you envy children sometimes? Things are black or white for them arent they? Whilst we wade through the quicksand thinking 'if only.'

Enjoy your time on holiday as much as you can. Will be thinking about you xxx

Oh Elliot what a sensitive little soul he is & what a tower of strength to you all,bless him.

You are remarkable OJ & I second Bree-proud to know you.

Shabs I can see why you went away for Christmas, the first one must be the hardest.
Bossy did you get my text? Or has it gone the long way round again.
Tonight it is curry house, well elliot is having nuggets and chips.

Yes just got it a few minutes ago OJ!!

Sorting it as we speak.

Done

thanks boss
Well Steve and my gave curry hose was visted tonight, it was hard without him there and I struggledto order for just me as we always used to get a veggie dish each then share them ended up with lots of food left over.

Been thinking of you lots today.

Had to look through paperwork and found letters from my late Nana.

Life is tough at times but she used to say to me, nothing is for ever - good or bad.

Crap

That came out wrong

no problems lapin, I only rem embered the other day and thought the postie had eaten them, well I have told him where to stuff his mAil!.
Itati you nan is right, nothing is forever, we just think it is.

I'm so proud of you OJ. x

I will be proud of myself if we get home ok on Thursday.
I think one of the big problems I feel is that as a kid I had no roots no one to call my own I kinda got used to that and put on a hard shell that said it didn't matter.
Steve was the first person that got throu that shell and I finally felt that I had roots that I belonged somewhere and that I was special to someone, steve family were very welcoming and at last I felt part of a family.
Now that has all been taken away and there is nothing to replace it, I have the kids and they keep me going I have lots of mates that I wouldn't have managed without, but I still feel empty, will I always feel like this?