NEW THREAD FOR OJ - REST IN PEACE STEVE - STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR OJ AND THE CHILDREN

[Buda]

Hope this is ok - both other threads seem to be full or almost full now.

We are all thinking of you Jo.

Trifles and rum and bubbles at the ready.

sitting in the garden was a bad move cos i then decided need some more tubs of colour, so spent the early evening planting lavendar and lillies ans sleeping all the millions of leaves up, some mates came round so we had a chinise which was nice.
i still have a few paper work bit to do and i need to find our wedding certificate to send with one of the forms. can i go to my local registay office and get a new one made or do you have to go to the place you got married?

Jo you can do it online.Just google and search for the cheapest!

MP

Costs about £7 at local registry office. Mum and Dad have got a copy of mine done for me before (I lost mine {blush}).

Hi Oj not been in for a while...sorry, shame on me, you can punish in any way you see fit.

Gosh that must have been difficult for you yesterday. Well done on letting them go and have a good time, and you got soooo much done yesterday too.

Whats been on the agenda today ?

You and Trace could get the address of the white van man and go round his house , in the dark of course, balaclava's on and do over whatever vehicle he has in his driveway !!!

Not that I'm suggesting for one minute either of you may have such an awful streak in you

Jo, hope you've had an ok day today and that you enjoy your lunch tomorrow. The planting sounds great, hard work but very gratifying and I'm sure your garden looks fantastic. Sleep well. xxx

love to you all. x

spent ages today looking for wedding certificate then realized steves birth certificate missing too, they will be together somewhere, i phoned the regestry office who said they could do me one for £7 but i didn't have time to get there and get it, asked about a birthday certificate for steve and they said i would have to go to where he was born (50 miles away) to get it or do it online, i need these things for thursday mornings appt, so had to do them online and pay priory service to get them here quickly as usually service takes 15 days so £52 later i think it will be sorted,
Tracey went up to get steves ashes today plus some donations for hospice and steves glasses i couldn't cope with it and got all tearful.
bloody big box the ashes are in all nicely wrapped up and we have a letter and certificate to take them on the plane, the box is much bigger nd heavier than i expected and yet i have to carry it on the plane as hand luggage.
the very lovely debs came this afternooon we sat out in the garden, she says i am doing ok but warned me that once the numbness wears off things will be harder.
debs is keeping us on her books but wants to keep in touch after her work is done.
she has agreed that when me and tracey are on hols we will all raise all glass at 8.9 and 10 ampm
been out tonight for a meal with tracey and 2 other mates it was very very nice.
i have a massage and facial booked for tomorrow morning and then lunch with lisa and linda

Enjoy your pampering today Jo.

Have a good day OJ.

Hope you had a good morning OJ - before you know it, the children will be back and you'll have masses of washing to do!

had a massage and facial this morning, to be honest i didn't feel any better afterwards but i can at least tick the box that says "did something for me"
went out for lunch with the 2 very lovely social workers that have been brill throughout all this, they were steves oncology social workers and they had a lot of input with meetings with the out laws and being here when the outlaws visted.
i got to the meeting place which is a local tea shop next to a very pretty church, i saw them waiting on the road for me but i couldn't get into the car park as it was full, lots of people around all wearing black, linda came down to the car to ask me if i wanted to go somewhere else as a funeral was just starting, i said no i would be ok, i wasn't really ok but didn't feel able to say anything, i sat throu lunch and even thou i was with people and surrounded by people i felt very alone.
i don't want to be alone but i dont want to be with people either, i know i need this time alone with the kids away in order to think and feel but i don't want to think and feel it just all feels too much and i can't break it all down enough to deal with it.

sending you hugs and love OJ. I Can't imagine how you must feel just now, but you are doing really well, it is OK to have breakdowns, you have had so much to deal with, it has to come out. You need to allow yourself to go with how you feel i think.

you have had to keep yourself together for so long, it is going to be hard to let go I think and you are probably not ready for that yet. Sorry things were tough today. Sending you hugsx

i have had a few R&C i know that is not the answer for the long term but it will do for now.

Jo, there is no way you can process it all now. There's just too much for your body & mind to cope with. Not wanting to be around crowds of people and meeting new people is something I still find hard if I'm having an off day. You know what you can handle and what you can't. My advice is to follow your gut feeling and tell others if something makes you feel upset or uncomfortable. They will all understand, especially the Sw's. Always here for you. Much love. xxx

i do try to follow my gut feeling just not very brave at saying what i want or what i don't want, i am also not very good at sleeping.

I'm still thinking of you OJ and sending you lots of love xxx

Sending lots of love to you today lovely OJ xxxxx

OJ you are in my thoughts often. I think it maybe a while before you are able to sleep.
I know when my dad died my mum found/finds if she puts the radio on it helps her drift off again.
Maybe if you write down what you really want to say, even if you never speak the words it might help.
Sending you good vibes to help you through the times ahead xx

OJ, I haven't been on here for a while, this morning I saw that you were on a thread at 4am and mny heart went out to you, you are never far from my thoughts, I hope you are managing without your lo's.
I struggle to find words that will be of any help at all but wanted to let you know how uch you have touched me.xx

Sorry you're struggling to get to sleep. You may find it might take a few more weeks or even months before you get back into your regular pattern of sleep. Hope today was a bit better. xxx

thanks for your kind words, i went to sleep around 5am had a rough night being sick, but feel better today, the girls are home it was so good to see them, they had a fab time but were very tired, elliot is back tomorrow then i will feel better to have all three kids home.

OJ would second the radio for helping you sleep.
Hopefully it will be easier when all dc's are home.

Glad they had fun.
maybe you'll sleep better now they're back.
I find the radio works well, too, esp with alcohol.

Glad Bethan and Abby had a good time.