NEW THREAD FOR OJ - REST IN PEACE STEVE - STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR OJ AND THE CHILDREN

[Buda]

Hope this is ok - both other threads seem to be full or almost full now.

We are all thinking of you Jo.

Trifles and rum and bubbles at the ready.

Well that explains Tracey being over on a weight loss thread then, she has her thong bikini to be getting into

Bloody good idea OJ, the holiday and a different villa will be different surroundings for you all.

Wrip your door bell off the wall, burn that and give Monster in law the ashes !

I'm sure Steve would want you to have that time in Lanzarote with the children to say a final private to him. You deserve a break more than anyone at the moment.

best wishes for the holiday, sounds a lovely idea to go where you all had a lot of happy family time.

looks great. Definitely best to go to a different villa.

Hi, OJ, lovely,

Haven't been on much, but I'm thinking about you such a lot. Sorry you're still feeling so sick, but glad you've booked a holiday. I think you really need one to get some rest, gather your strength and move forward with your lovely dc.

Lots of love to you all,

XXX

OJ, you need a break more than anyone I know. You have been through so much lately and you deserve to get away. As for it being too soon for a holiday, I personally don't think so, you have been grieving for your Steve for a long time, wll before you actually lost him. I think Lanzarote is perfect timing Just what the doctor ordered!

Thinking of you and sending lots of love as usual xxx

Looks lovely OJ , you deserve it and Steve will be with you.

We just back from Lanzarote, first time and it was lovely.

OJ - so glad to read you've booked a holiday- you told me a long time ago how much you loved holidaying with your kids and it gave me the nerve to book a holiday next year.

Hi oj - sorry the ILs are still trying to make it all about them, not about Steve.

Hope you and the children, & Tracey & her DD, have a lovely holiday. It will be very hard for you all, being there without Steve for the first time, but he would want you to enjoy it & he will be there with you in spirit.

Jo, so pleased you have booked this very special holiday. It will be a chance for you & the kids to go to somewhere so close to Steve's heart and honour his last wish. So glad that Tracey is coming with you for a week as well. It will be a bitter sweet time for you but I hope you will be pleasantly surprised and that its not as painful as you expect. Love to you & the kids. When things calm down for you I'd love to come uo & see you sometime. xxx

The villa looks just lovely. OJ here's hoping you and the kids have a lovely holiday.

Re the ashes-

Empty the contents of the dyson into an urn and give it to the outlaws. They'd never know!

its just thst i feel guilty for going on holidsy like i sm celebrateing that steve has gone, we are all going to use it as our chance to say out private goodbyes that we were not able to do because the IL LAWs were there at the funeral.
lanzorote holds sone amazazing memories for us as a family, we need time to relax
drink rum and have some fun. there will be rumfun and some tears too.
we went sgopping yesterdsy to get the kids stuuf for there school resi trip on monday, iy will be odd here very quiet and no rensbilies

there's no right or wrong way to grieve or do things OJ. You just have to do what you feel will get you through each day. I'm glad you have Tracey going with you to Lanzarote

OJ, take your holiday and get away for some quiet time. If it gives you all space to laugh/weep/remember/regret, it will probably help you all in the long run. The hassles of daily life will probably mean there is not much time to get in touch with your feelings in the months to come, sadly.

OK for you, my DH has asked for his ashes to be scattered from the top of a specific mountain in Scotland, and seriously, has written it into his will!!

it is just that the opportunie has come up with threacys 3 boys and her DH on camp and i didn't jnow when we would get another chsnce. i am so pleased that tracey has offered to coming with us she has been our best mate for 9 years and knows the kids almost as well was steve and i knew then, tracey ga been there evry step of the way, she was here when steve died and she here when i had to tell the kids, now steve has gone tracey is the one person who knows me well and she has still stuck around, she has held the sick bucket and today i caught her ironing and she hates ironing.....that is a trus friend

Morning OJ. Please don't feel guilty - I think the holiday will do you all the world of good. It will give you a focus over the next couple of weeks.

Tracey sounds fab! Can she come and do my iroing?

Am sorry you are still being sick. Is it something specific?

Lanazarote sounds just like what the doctor ordered, i suffer from depression in the winter and we usually go in january, it lifts my spirits no end, this might just be what you need, as someone else said you are not at the start of your grieving process, you have been grieving for months and you really deserve this holiday.

your villa looks lovely and your best mate tracey will be with you as you honour steves last wish, i can just imagine with my eyes closed the smell and sounds of lanzarote, i want to go to!!!!!

OJ, I I had been all through you had been through, if I had watched my darling husband suffer the way you have had to watch Steve suffer, I wouldn't be celebrating my loss but, I would be celebrating the fact that he was now free from pain and that he was in a much better place. You should go to Lanzarote guilt free!! Do you hear me??? You need a break!!! And I am sure Steve would approve so you get yourself off and come back here nice and refreshed.

Personally, I would rather log on here and see you doing something positive than log on and find you depressed and doing nothing. Now go get your holiday list sorted!

Thinking of you as usual and sending lots of love xxx

Don't feel guilty about going away oj, your trip has a purpose, you will be celebrating the life that you all had together as a family. You will be away from the ils, the phonecalls, the paperwork, the sw and it will be a time for you all to relax and concentrate on yourselves, Steve and noone else. And drink rum with Tracey of course!

I think that's the worst the in laws have done to you, make you feel guilty about celebrating Steve's life in a way that is right for you. You don't have to let them. What you are doing is utterly right. Take care

OJ - you are not celebrating that Steve has gone, you are celebrating his life and where better to do it than somewhere he loved.

Lanzarote sounds like a great idea

somewhere full of wonderful memories which you can celebrate, share and reminisce about with your children

a holiday is a good idea, and a change of scenery for a little bit can only be a good thing

xxx

Sunshine &rumfresh air and swimmingandrum and a chance to relax with your best mate. Sounds perfect to me & JUST what the doctor ordered, even if it is bittersweet.

I second the others thoughts it is a celebration of your life with Steve and the love he brought to you all and leaves in your hearts.

You have absolutely no reason to feel guilty Jo, you did everything you could to make Steve's last weeks as comfortable as possible. Lots of people are simply unable to cope with dealing with that at home but you managed it, while looking after your children as well. You are not celebrating Steve's death, you are having a very well earned break from everyday routine in a place Steve loved, where he will be close ..whilst some of the memories will be sad I am sure, hopefully you will have some enjoyable times too.