NEW THREAD FOR OJ - REST IN PEACE STEVE - STRENGTH AND LOVE FOR OJ AND THE CHILDREN

[Buda]

Hope this is ok - both other threads seem to be full or almost full now.

We are all thinking of you Jo.

Trifles and rum and bubbles at the ready.

thats the difficulty Steve didnt have a will, he was always going to get better then when he did accept he would die he was too Ill, I urge you all get a will.
Steve wants his ashes to go to lanzorote set free on the beach oposite the harley davidson bar. We have been to lanzorote 6 times we had to cancel the last trip as Steve was I'll.
Steve took us and tracey and her family for my 40th birthday.

It'd be great to have a holiday to look forward to and focus on, and to go somewhere that you and Steve know and love so much. I imagine it would also be a very emotional trip too. Scattering Steve's ashes somewhere that holds importance to you both and your family and best friends is a truly fitting tribute. Would Tracey be able to come too?

lanzarote that sounds really good, we have been going for the last 10 years and its a really special place for us.

cant think of where the harley davidson bar is, is that puerto del carmen or costa teguise?

lol at abbey saying Adult magazine, thats the sort of thing DS would say!!!

Glad to hear you and the kids had a good day yesterday. Even if Steve didnt have a will, legally you are his next of kin, with the children after that. The ILs don't have any legal rights at all. Hope the hand gets better soon. Has the Dr said how long it will be? It must be a right nuisance.

glad you had a good day oj but there is one thing puzzling me .How big is your lounge to have four mares round ???? 08.35 post.My mind is boggling at this revelation !

Oh dear, that makes it harder, I know DH hates the mention of making a will, and also life insurance. But I have pushed the issue and we are going to get the life ins and make a will, ever since I heard someone on here say the dc's dont go to grandparents automatically. And also since our friend died at 42.

I hope they don't cause any trouble for you re scattering his ashes. OUr friend didn't want to be cremated and he was athiest (sp) but his mum was religious and had a church service and cremated him. It caused some fracas, but I honestly think that he would have wanted his mu to do whatever gave her peace as he probably no longer cared. He wanted his body to go to science, but he wasn't found til after a day and a half so it was too late to do that anyway. This sort of thing is so tricky.

Jo, glad you had a good day yesterday. Bless Elliot. I am relieved to hear that your hand is feeling better as well. from what I understand (and I am no lawyer so verify this for yourself), when there is no will everything would automatically be passed on to Steve's children and not neccesarily you, his wife. Not sure it is still the case but certainly was a few years ago.

Lanzarote sounds lovely. Do you know yet if you'll take the kids or go at the end of the month when they are away on their school trip? Hope you are able to get out in the sun today and that you'll getting more sleep tonight. xxx

Iz a friend of ours died last yr and he never left a will, and his girlfriend (of 20yrs) and he had 5 kids, they had to get a court order for her to keep their house, other wise half would of been hers and the other half would of been split between the 5 kids. She did say mind you if they had married, then it would of all been hers.

Found this here for cases in England where someone dies without leaving a will:
"Married or in Civil Partnership - With Children
For married couples with children the entire estate is distributed as follows:

The surviving spouse gets the first £125,000 plus goods and all personal chattels.
Half the rest goes to the deceased's children immediately (or on trust until they are 18.)
The other half goes to the children but the surviving spouse gets a lifetime interest. Hence they can spend the income but not touch the capital."

Glad you've had a good day, OJ.

Hope you're beginning to feel better.

Thinking of you with love,

XXX

i think we will be ok we were married and have the kids, it will take longer without a will but we will be ok.
we had a vist from the very lovely Bossy today and her lovely DDs
Bossy brought a huge pile of cards from many mumsnetters they are lovely and very kind of you all, i will sort out a big box for all the cards to go in.
Tori32 you need to get in touch with me somehow as there was another envelope inside your card that was meant for someone else.
we had a nice day we went out for lunch and Bossy will verify that i did eat, the sores around my mouth are much better and my hand is ok now just need to keep it dry a bit longer. Bossys DD were lovely and my 3 were well behaved.
you will have to ask bossy about the puddings

glad you had a lovely day.

Hi Jo,
So glad to hear some fun in your voice, well in your typed words! But then thats where you have always shone, even in the darkest of times your wonderful sense of humour has shone through. Lovely that Elliot brought you tea in bed!

OJ - is there anything you need to know re. the prbate? DH is a probate solicitor, so I can ask him any queries you may have. If you prefer you can contact me off screen via CAT or claire.king13(at)btinternet.com

Have emailed you Hula

ha! the puddings were lovely thank you but I couldn't forcefeedtempt OJ to any of them but then she had just done justice to the HUGEST carvery platter (as did we all!!)

The eaterie was in a lovely garden centre but don't ask me where as OJ drove & took us around all these roundabouts to make sure we couldn't find it again!

So we staggered out of there & went to admire the ruddyexpensivegoldfishcollectable koi carp and try & steer the kids through the tatshop retail opportunity.... I failed as DD2 found a lovely cuddly monkey to join the other half ton she has on her bed! OJ was very ungrateful towards her son for wanting to buy her a leopard print cushion or oh-so (not)subtle ornate mirror that would have needed its own joist!!

It was a lovely afternoon & on the way back we popped in to see the lovely Tracey & meet her gorgeous family, I can see why they are all such good friends, the fun & loving laughter between the two families is a sight to treasure, and I'm sure will be a great comfort to & help to OJ.

Sounds like you a had a lovely day.

Am glad as i thought this weekend might have been pretty horrible.

Hugs OJ.

OJ you sound like you had a nice time.

You need friends like Bossy and Tracey, to help you through. I have just typed "you are lucky to have such great friends" and deleted it, because you aren't lucky, you deserve them. I'm glad they are there for you.

It's great to read how things are going OJ. I'm sure you all have some bad times but you sound very together and an absolute inspiration. Friends are just the best thing in life aren't they?

Good morning.

xxx

glad to hear that you and bossy enjoyed a nice day together oj....
hope today passes without any drama from your outlaws. still in my thoughts...x

my thoughts are with MB and her family
here

Thanks for that link OJ - I was out this morning and hadn't seen MB's thread. It is a sad time here at the moment.

Indeed OJ - two lovely men in such a short time, and WHAT a lot of love & good memories they leave behind.

I know it's probably not a comfort at the moment but through Steve & Mr MB(E) awareness of the hospice movement/Mac Nurses and the excellent work they do has been highlighted and supported. If any small good can come out of such tragic losses then this is one.

oh my gosh...thanks for the link oj.....

hope you're ok.