Page 33 | THREAD FOR WISHING PEACE TO STEVE AND STRENGTH TO JO AND THE CHILDREN

NotABanana · 2008-06-06T11:22:51+00:00

Thinking of you. (Not sure if ayone has started one)

bigfatuglybitch · 12/06/2008 22:22

I would not let them do a reading, they will might use the oppurtunity to have a go in front of an audience. I think MILF has made a very, very good point when she said to tell, the priest/funeral directors/crem people that ALL arrangements must come from you, I wouldn't put it past them to change the time/details and cut you out completly.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/06/2008 22:26

Agree that all arrangements must come through you.

They do not need to do readings.....they could not put themselves out to visit and visit with manners, so let them go forth and multiply. fuck off

bigfatuglybitch · 12/06/2008 22:31

Bree - now, now, thats not like you roflao

onlyjoking9329 · 12/06/2008 22:32

i am not sure i can stop them doing readings.
the funeral directors are aware of the situation as debbie explained it all to them, they are not allowed to give out any info.
debbie suggests that i treat the funeral as a formality to be ensured and at a later date have a rememberance/thanks rhing for all the people who have been and still are being supportive, so thats what we are going to do.
Mike asked me if i would be putting it in the papers i said no,i don't want mike to know that i am worried about my birth family turning up as it might give him ideas.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/06/2008 22:35

Tell him that the papers are so over.....

Darling, you do whatever it takes to get you through this, let them read, don't let them read, but whatever they do make sure it suits you and the children.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/06/2008 22:37

i am not sure i can stop them doing readings.

It is your gig, you can do what you like.

Within reason, but if you serve fruit shoots and sausage rolls the whole of MN will disown you.

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/06/2008 22:50

Right my dear, I am off to bed.

The site has been on its knees tonight, so not many regs around.

I will have my phone switched on all day tomorrow, so call me if you need to vent.

xxx

onlyjoking9329 · 12/06/2008 22:59

i found abbey laid on steves bed tonight holding one of the fathers days teddies, i just laid with her for a while whilst she cried. beth was tearful this morning and very clingy too.
elliot went on a boat trip yesterday, he told me he had to wear a life jacket as that would stop you from dying, he said dad should have had one then he wouldn't have died.

bossybritches · 12/06/2008 23:00

Oh Jo - your kids are so wonderful.

Poor abbey

BreeVanDerCampLGJ · 12/06/2008 23:04

chutneymary · 12/06/2008 23:07

Oh Jo

I am so sorry that you have all this to deal with as well as your grief. I think the idea that you celebrate Steve's life at a later date is a good one. Can you ring someone from the funeral people to reiterate the point about all arrangements coming from you? Might be worth it for peace of mind.

I hope you have a rum on the go, and a mate in the wings for support over the weekend. I'd be there like a shot if I were nearer. I'll look in tomorrow. You are doing a greatjob. I am so sad to hear about the girls having a hard day. Elliot's comment about the life jacket is heartbreaking too.Take care and hope you manage some sleep.

Love to you all XXXX

chutneymary · 12/06/2008 23:07

Oh Jo

I am so sorry that you have all this to deal with as well as your grief. I think the idea that you celebrate Steve's life at a later date is a good one. Can you ring someone from the funeral people to reiterate the point about all arrangements coming from you? Might be worth it for peace of mind.

I hope you have a rum on the go, and a mate in the wings for support over the weekend. I'd be there like a shot if I were nearer. I'll look in tomorrow. You are doing a greatjob. I am so sad to hear about the girls having a hard day. Elliot's comment about the life jacket is heartbreaking too.Take care and hope you manage some sleep.

Love to you all XXXX

chutneymary · 12/06/2008 23:07

Oh Jo

I am so sorry that you have all this to deal with as well as your grief. I think the idea that you celebrate Steve's life at a later date is a good one. Can you ring someone from the funeral people to reiterate the point about all arrangements coming from you? Might be worth it for peace of mind.

I hope you have a rum on the go, and a mate in the wings for support over the weekend. I'd be there like a shot if I were nearer. I'll look in tomorrow. You are doing a greatjob. I am so sad to hear about the girls having a hard day. Elliot's comment about the life jacket is heartbreaking too.Take care and hope you manage some sleep.

Love to you all XXXX

bigfatuglybitch · 12/06/2008 23:09

Love their hearts, its so hard to cope when you are an adult, its the end of the world when you are that age and hormones are a raging.

VaginaShmergina · 12/06/2008 23:10

Hi OJ, how ya doing ? Be jesus the behaviour continues, shame you wont hear from Mike once Steves funeral has taken place

Such wonderful beautiful children you have. They seem to make everything so logical and they express their emotions so well.

Will you place biggles with Steve or do you think you will keep him ?

I have no idea what to suggest about the funeral. Can teh undertaker not guide you, but then I dont suppose they have evr come across such a bunch of evile do'ers before have they ?

I like the idea of the seperate memorial service, but would it be too emotional for you and the children ?

The memorial could be lighthearted IYSWIM without being disrespectful to you or to Steves Memory.

Have been thinking of you all lots and your friend Tracey sounds like an absolute star.

Cannot find my recipe for coffee and walnut trifle with Whisky, think my Mum has it.

TimeForMe · 13/06/2008 06:55

Good morning OJ. I am so sorry that you are having to go through all of this with Steve's family, I really find it difficult to understand their mentallity.

I am thinking of you OJ and sending lots of love and hugs to you and the children. God bless you all xxx

Dotsie · 13/06/2008 07:41

thinking of you all OJ.
your children are fantastic. it must be so hard for them to come to terms with losing their wonderful Dad.
How are you coping? Sending you love and hugs.
D xx

yorkiemom · 13/06/2008 07:52

Morning OJ, sorry that Steve's family are still such a pain. I think the memorial for your good friends/helpers is a lovely idea.

Your children sound so brave, when I think about my dad dying (he has pancreatic cancer) I can just sink into depression, and your lovely children are coping so well, they really are a credit to your both.

Wishing you lots of love, you are in my thoughts and prayers xxxxx

littlelapin · 13/06/2008 07:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fryalot · 13/06/2008 08:09

morning oj.

thinking of you and the kids
xx

Tigerschick · 13/06/2008 08:23

Thinking of you all.
Wishing you strength for the weekend x

bigcar · 13/06/2008 08:27

Sending you love, thinking of you all as always x

onlyjoking9329 · 13/06/2008 09:44

They have come to pick up the bed and other stuff, it will seem very strange with no bed there now, i am glad i slept in it last night.
i have the bloke who is doing the service coming this morning so i have to think what to say.
this afternoon i will sort out the flowers.

MsBombastic · 13/06/2008 09:46

Good morning onlyjoking. Best wishes to you and your kids.

I don't want to intrude - and I know you will have given incredible thought to the funeral arrangements.

It is just that your mention of Abbey lying on Steve's bed cuddling the teddy reminded me of something.

I once heard/or read about a South American tradition where the person you have lost is wrapped in a cloth/scarf or similar which has the handprints of their family on it. So that they are 'cuddling/holding ' them on their journey. I think it is a lovely idea and as you seem from your posts to be a family which loves its cuddles I thought I would pass it on to you.
Also as I know your kids are ASD (of which i have a little experience) it is something very tangible which might resonate with them.

Apologies if it is inappropriate to post about this incredibly personal situation, but I, like so many mumsnetters just feel a need to try and help, in however small a way.

lucyellensmum · 13/06/2008 09:59

Sending you and your children big hugs OJ.

I think the idea of the special remembrance day for Steve is such a lovely one. Sadly, your awful inlaws will probably make the funeral awkward, simply by being there. Im sure you are well prepared for them. I think you have behaved with such dignity, and whilst i sympathise with their loss, their behaviour has negated any rights that they have. They should be bloody grateful you are even allowing them to be present tbh.

Loving the blankets idea btw. My mum put a picture of her and my dad in with him. I was too switched off to think of anything like that. Honestly, you would have thought i was organising a village fete i was so detatched . Maybe one of the teddy's? If you could bear it? Bramwell, of course, has more work to do - he needs to look after you now OJ.

Feeling very angry for you today OJ, and your children. Its simply not fair and i don't have any words to make it better