THREAD FOR WISHING PEACE TO STEVE AND STRENGTH TO JO AND THE CHILDREN

[NotABanana]

Thinking of you. (Not sure if ayone has started one)

Thinking of you all

xxxxxxxxxxx

Dear OJ,
Sorry to hear of your sad loss, but as others have said, so pleased that you were together at the end.
All my love, thoughts and prayers are with you and your DC.

RIP Steve.
xxxx

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Thinking of you all

So sorry to hear your news.
Thinking of you all.xxx

I am thinking of you and your lovely children.
With love from the Imblet family

link for those asking for one!

So so sorry for your loss, have followed your posts.
Hope Steve is at peace, you are a remarkable family.

Spoke to Jo tonight.

She has had a day of officialdom & form filling but also lots of visits from lovely mates who have been a great strength, & Debbie the Mac nurse who helped Jo tell the kids.

They are all bearing up,the kids are being very brave & understandably a little weepy.

I passed on all the messages & love & hugs & she said to say thanks & she will be back when she gets a minute.

Funeral is arrange for next week, family flowers only at Steve & Jo's request with donations to the Mac nurses & the hospice as we'd thought.

Jo, Abbey, Bethan and Elliot, I would like to send you my love and best wishes for now and the future. In Steve you were lucky to have such a wonderful daddy/husband, and I am sure he appreciated how lucky he was to have you four too.
I would also like to send my best wishes to Steves Ma, Bro and Sis. Know matter how awful they have been,(and by the christ Jo, you deserve a medal the size of a dustbin lid, just for putting up with them.) they have lost a sib/child, and I would hate to lose my child or my sister.

so sad to hear my love,
you are an inspiration oj.
your children are so very lucky to have you. xxxx

needing lots of strengh right now, MIL is hassling people for funeral arragements, i know she needs to know but think the soon she knows the sooner she will kick off, she has phoned the funeral directors again this morning to ask when the funeral is, i got a call from the funeral lady to tell me.
dunno what to do,
i would like to not tell her until after the weekend cos if she knows before the weekend then once the SW have gone home for the weekend i just know i will be getting hassle and the weekend is going to be hard enough anyway. but then is it fair that i don't tell them til monday?

Difficult...if you don't tell her before the weekend, will she spend the weekend hassling you for information anyway?

Is there anyone who can act as a guard between you and her - pass on details of the arrangements, filter out any returning grief, that sort of thing?

The main thing at this point is to be kind to yourself and protect yourself. You need it

Lots of love and light to you xx

oh oj, you shouldn't have to even think about this right now!

I wish I could think of an answer for you

Jo love, you have to do what is best for you now. You have been a sint throughout all of this, considering the in-laws feelings despite everything they have put you through. You are entitled to grieve for your lovely husband and to lay him to rest peacefully. I for one feel you should not be telling the in-laws anything about the funeral right now if you feel it is going to cause you further pain and heartache, but try to do it with a clear conscience, don't be thinking of them and feeling guilty about not telling them. This is about you and your children now Jo. It's time for you to put yourself first. Lots of love and strength winging it's way to you xxxx

that should be saint not sint .

Hi O.J didn't have a chance to check in yesterday but it doesn't mean I have not been thinking about you all.
I hope everything goes well with the funeral and the I.L's. just grow up and act like adults It will be a day to remember Steve a good lovely man not argue.

x

they haven't exactly been fair to you but you are so great because you are still trying to be fair to them. Are there likely to be major issues, could you get her to tell them it is weds and say she will be able to confirm the details on Monday? Sending you lots of strength.

Tricky one, maybe tell her tomorrow. that way she can't do anything at the weekend anyway because everything is shut . Then let all the key people ie. funeral directors, crem/church, vicar etc know that there are issues with this person and all changes are to come from you?

Hugs, Hazel xx

Oh and make sure you have someone with you at the weekend to answer phone calls and the door. If she turns up you are sleeping, having a bath, drinking wine or some other activity that means you can't be disturbed.

Morning oj,sorry you are still having problems with your IL,S that sounds like a good idea from chocoholic.then they will at least know the day and shouldnt have to bother you over the weekend,although normal people would be there supporting you and tryin to help !!! then Mon or tues tell them the time.At least oj you will be able to hold your head high ,knowing you have done everything to try and accomodate them.They wont be able to say the same.You are a very selfless person,i cant say i would of been able to have been so good to them as you have.I hope you managed to get some sleep last night and that the children are managing to cope with the awful circumstances of the moment.thinking of you xxxx

Debbie the Mac nurse phoned and said that she woyld ring MIL and mike, i told debbie that i would ring mike as i did promise him some time ago that i would be sure to let him know and i needed to do it.
i just gave him the info wednesday at 11 family flowers only and donations to hospice.
he did try to talk to me but i sould tell he was getting cross so i just said i didn't really want to talk.

Oh sweetie, you have behaved with nothing but dignity, and by having Steve home these last months allowed Steve to live his last days in dignity. How the hell he had such drop kicks for family I'll never no, keep your chin up love, and don't let the bastards grind you down.

Keep on doing what you are doing, you have shut up shop and it is now you and Elliot and Bethan and Abbey.

They have a lot of ground to claw back to even be considered, and I very much doubt that they are prepared to do that work.

Much love

LGJ