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Does drinking a bottle of wine every night make you an alcoholic?

303 replies

LyraSilvertongue · 02/06/2008 21:36

I ask because I was having a conversation about drink with a (male) colleague and he says he drinks a bottle a night. I was a bit . He's quite small, shorter than me, so the men can drink more thing doesn't really apply. Do you think he's addicted?

OP posts:
lullabyloo · 04/06/2008 09:12

dh gave up drinking just over three months ago
A typical week night would involve two cans of Tennants,a bottle of wine & several glasses of scotch
Weekends he would drink a lot more

He went cold turkey & suffered no illness/side effects amazingly

tigermoth · 04/06/2008 09:31

One thing that puszzles me, I have read that it's good to drink a glass of wine a day - doctors say it aids digestion.

So if one glass is good, it seems a bit bizarre that two or three glasses per day is dangerous. Is there no middle ground?

Can someone explain this to me?

peacelily · 04/06/2008 09:37

Tigermoth there's a lot of evidence to suggest that moderate drinking is healthier than teetotalism. Especially if your tipple is red wine.

Good for heart health as well as digestion. I think the limits are 3 units a day for women and 4 for men. it comes back down to that unit counting thing which the whole country (including myself) is obsessed with.

afraid I can't help you with the actual physiology

zippitippitoes · 04/06/2008 09:39

alcohol is bad in increased quantities but in low doses it has been suggested it could have beneficial effects..red wine has some thing from grape skins i think but it is a bit tenuous research in this area because there are so many factors and a bottle of dustbin wine is not the same as a bottle of bin chateau organic under the moon with no additives wine

posieparker · 04/06/2008 09:40

That's binge drinking as it's around 9 units and most likely doing him long term damage.

zippitippitoes · 04/06/2008 09:40

there are a lot of yucky additives in wine very often

BlaDeBla · 04/06/2008 10:55

Apparently there is a high incidence of things like cirrhosis (sp) in France. I don't think anyone knows why some people can drink a lot without ill effects and some can't, so I reckon the 'safe limits' is a bit of a blanket and not suitable for everyone.

Alcohol is a poison, but like lots of poisons, it can be beneficial in small quantities. Oh the voice of reason and moderation. With alcohol, I can drink in moderation and with reason, but equally, I can drink without moderation and without reason. Somehow I have to live with myself

disneystar · 04/06/2008 11:25

i dont drink at all never have done
i guess i cant undertand the pull of an attraction to alcohol
i went for a meal last week and someone bought me shandy i couldnt drink it it tastd vile to me
im not being negative here just a genuine question as to why some one would want to drink until they couldnt think straight

twelveredroses · 04/06/2008 11:57

I am posting under a name change to avoid sharing personal details. My father is an alcoholic. He has only once sought medical help for this - he 'dried out' for about three weeks and the first thing he did on discharge was to buy a bottle of whiskey. Most of the time he denies he has a problem.

He has no liver disease, despite about thirty years or heavy drinking.

What he does have is alcohol related dementia (this does not make him totally demented, but he is forgetful and often confused); alcoholic myopathy which is a progressive muscular wasting disease (to do with the way alcohol affects the metabolism of protein) and finds it hard to walk (he uses a mobility scooter to go to the off licence round the corner) and this also affects the muscles of his bowel and bladder with predictable results. He also has destroyed all the relationships he ever had with friends, family and indeed my mother. He often falls in the house and lies there for some time (often in his own waste) until he is sober enough to pick himself up.

No one likes him any more. He is a pain in the arse. I used to beg him, crying and breaking my heart, to get help, and so did my mother. He has (had) a large and loving family who would have supported him and helped him and encouraged him - but he preferred to have a relationship with whiskey than a relationship with any of us. He had (has) a choice to seek help - his addiction is so powerful he's gone far beyond the 'cutting down' option and no one would expect him to stop by himself. But he threw all that back in our faces.

I don't blame anyone for developing an alcohol problem. I have seen how it sneaks up on people. But I am, I am afraid, very judgemental towards deniers and people who will not seek help - who reject the people they love and who love them.

And in answer to the OP - of course a bottle of wine a night is a ridiculous amount. It is not the same amount as my father - he gets through 6 litres of whiskey a week - but he certainly used to drink a bottle of wine a night.

madamez · 04/06/2008 12:36

I think (as with a lot of things) people forget that human beings are very variable. People metabolise alcohol differently depending on their body mass and other health/genetic factors. People deal with stress and anxiety in different ways. And people do have a right to do stuff that's not good for them against freinds' and families; wishes because people do, actually, have a right to reject and cut off relationships with other people, if they want to. No one can or should live for other people's benefit, after all.
this is not to say that it's a good idea to drink till you've got no friends and no liver left, but that it is an individual's choice to do so.Just as it is up to an individual to decide when the amount of alcohol he/she consumes is too much. People who have had alcholic family members are sometimes phobic about alcohol (understandably) to the point that they can;t stop nagging anyone they see having so much as a single drink: this is annoying and unhelpful. More people really need to learn to mind their own business.

VacheFolle · 04/06/2008 13:14

I am genuinely shocked that some of you know non-drinkers who like to go on about it/nag others etc... For myself and the other couple of non-drinkers I know ( most of my bestest friends drink regularly) that's the last thing you want to do, especially on a night out! IME the opposite is true as most people, who I don't know very well or have just met (my friends know better)want to ask me all bloody night why I don't drink (couldn't agree more Madamez about people needing to mind their own business )and whatever you say you are met with quizzical expressions, and then they forget they've asked you, so ask you again even louder etc...now who do you think is the annoying one is in that situation? .If anything I just want to blend in, have fun with my friends and not get interrogated so I try to drink something that looks like alcohol and avoid the subject at all costs!

posieparker · 04/06/2008 13:15

But madamez someone drinking 63 units of alcohol a week is never never a good situation, surely?

WheresMummy · 04/06/2008 13:23

I've just joined Mumsnet today and have been quite surprised to read some of the sanctimonious postings on this thread. It's not a good introduction, unless you like watching train crashes.

I probably am addicted to alcohol, but this doesn't mean I get wasted every night. I work all day, pick up the children, make tea, do something fun, read them stories, put them to bed, do some housework, then sit down at the computer (or with a book) and have a couple of glasses of red.

I love those glasses of red, when it's finally my time.

I get up early the next morning and do it all again. Without a headache! I'm happy with this and hope noone else would see it as their business to tell me that's too much.

twelveredroses · 04/06/2008 13:25

I don't believe in nagging either. It does no good, IME. However, no one is an island. Developing a drink problem does affect one's nearest and dearest, unless you decide to live alone, and don't want relationships with anyone. It is and was my business when my father started to drink heavily. It was my business, and my mother's business, and his grandchildren's business too, because a relationship with a drunkard is horrible.

posieflump · 04/06/2008 13:31

twelveredroses - isn't there a way of cutting your fathe's supply off? It must cost a small fortune!

VacheFolle · 04/06/2008 13:35

sorry if I was insensitive Twelveredroses, obviously when a loved one is destroying their life with alcohol it is very much your business too

flossiefumble · 04/06/2008 13:37

Message withdrawn

flossiefumble · 04/06/2008 13:42

Message withdrawn

twelveredroses · 04/06/2008 13:44

posie - how does one stop an adult obtaining drink? He has plenty of money and if he is too weak/drunk to use his scooter to go to the off licence, he will order a taxi to take him there and back (it is literally round the corner, even so - perhaps three minutes walk for an able bodied person. People always ask this - 'but why can't you stop him getting hold of whiskey'? It is not possible! He buys three bottles at a time, and hides one or two of them (my mother used to try and find them but she has given up now, as she can't keep up with hid hidey-holes). A month or so ago she discovered a hollow ornament ( a dark glass vase with a glass flower arrangement thingy on the top that uncrews) had liquid in it - funny, she thought. Then she realised what it was - a stash of whiskey. God knows how long that had been there.

He should not be driving his scooter under the influence of drink, but he does so. Fortunately, he does not have to go on the road. I wanted to get the community bobby in to talk to him about using it when drunk but my mum stopped me, as she said he (my dad) would guess I had called him in and he would go ballistic and he is horrible when he loses his temper (not violent, just vile).

twelveredroses · 04/06/2008 13:48

flossie, you'll agree with me, then, that 'cutting off the supply' to an alcoholic is not possible...

My mum should have left my dad but it's not gonna happen now

flossiefumble · 04/06/2008 14:04

Message withdrawn

spicemonster · 04/06/2008 14:13

I think a lot of people drink a bottle of wine a night. That's the middle class drinkers that are the new target for the anti-drinking campaign the govt are now running. Although, as said somewhere down the thread, the whole advisory number of units is a load of bollocks. So there's not much point in saying but that's X number of units. It's meaningless.

FWIW I don't think a bottle a day makes you an alcoholic. I have had times in my life where I've probably drunk that. I've never had any problems stopping drinking when I wanted to. Does that mean I'm an alcoholic or that I was? I don't think so. What makes you an alcoholic I believe is whether the amount of alcohol you consume impacts adversely on your life and whether you can enjoy yourself without drinking. It's not about quantity, it's about the way you deal with it psychologically IMO.

BeauLocks · 04/06/2008 14:14

Horses for courses I guess but I'd be worried if anyone in my family/circle of friends drank that much.

I can cope with 2 small (100 ml) glasses a night but no more. [wimp]

MrsMacaroon · 04/06/2008 14:49

Functioning alcoholics are more common than your stereotypical alcoholic who can't function... just because you're able to get up for work etc doesn't mean you don't drink too much and aren't dependent on alcohol.

ots of people have relationship or friends with other heavy drinkers who would never point out your problem because that would draw attention to their own problem...

My DH gave up because once he started, he found it hard to stop. He could 'go without' but didn't have an off switch.

There is a wide spectrum of drinking problems but if you're not daft, you will treat alcohol with a bit of respect generally...

CountessDracula · 04/06/2008 14:53

wheresmummy - I'm afraid mumsnet is VERY opinionated and yes can be sanctimonious
However I don't see it on this thread
Have you tried babycentre
everyone is ver nice there

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