My mums just rang to say she has breast cancer

[fairyfly]

I feel like im going to throw up

Cheers Lockets, well we didn't get any appointment in time but her hospital will now deal with it, hopefully

FF - I've been there honey. More positive stories for you - my mum has been clear for eight years now - she had lumpectomy and radiotherapy.

It was an awful few months though, - partly selfishly because I was having a major wobble at hitting 30, felt like I was being forced to grow up and then thought my Mum might be taken away from me too. It's hard to suddenly have to be the strong one with your own parents, but it is an inevitable part of getting older.

My mum was very very scared, partly because she had seen her own mother die of the same disease in terrible pain (this was in the 60s). It took her a while to realise that things have moved on and there are brilliant treatments out there now - she is testament to that.

Don't know if this hepls but I'm thinking of you. x

Thanks Puddle> I know what you mean about being selfish ( not that i thnik you were). But part of me is screaming inside no more crap please, i'm tired of it. Then i feel guilty as its about my mother not me feeling sorry for myself. Thanks for the positivity!

Fairyfly - I don't think you should feel guilty. Sure it is your mothers illness but we all went through it with my mum as a family. My Dad needed loads of support and I needed my friends too (they were great by the way). It's about all of you and you are allowed to feel overwhelmed by it.

Thanks Puddle x

Hi Fairyfly,{{{{{}}}}}
Mum seems quite positive at the moment. She's a bit scared of the actual chemo because she doesn't really know what to expect since everyone is different. She is keeping busy at the moment getting anything she thinks she may need. She even got her hair cut really short today so that it will be less obvious if she suffers from hair loss. She was feeling a bit worried about it being so short and then one of the other clients in the shop commented on what a nice style it was and how much it suited mum so that cheered her up. Has your mum got a date for the op yet? The waiting is horrible isn't it.

My mum also nursed her mum until she died of breast cancer during the 60's Puddle and she was really scared too when she knew she was going to have to have chemo. Talking to the breast nurse and the oncologist have reassured her though.

I'm feeling ok about it today - got so much on my plate trying to sort out all the problems with DS that I've hardly had time to think about mum being ill.

Amyx, sounds like my mum, mine has gone on a shopping spree, her nanna had both breasts removed also. I can tell im stressed im snappy and uptight.
I hope chemo goes as well as it possibly can, no date for my mum yet, either this monday or the next, depending on the surgeons golf plans i suppose.

i just posted this link on another thread for cranial osteopathy.

however, it is an holistic centre and i know the therapist that runs it has done extensive work with cancer patients when she lived in london.

she offers many different therapies. you want to ask for carolyn.

best wishes

Thanks Rosies, sweet of you.

I can safely say i have lost it today, not going to tell my family or anyone else so i might aswell offload here. My temper has gone. Last night i threw dinner at the wall and this morning because the hoover was in the way i kicked the shit out of it. I felt overwhelmed at the school gates and got tears in my eyes. I am sick to death of shit happening, i would have handled this better a couple of years ago but the stress just seems to have built up. A succession of hassle seems to be taking it's toll. I need someone to shake me and say stop feeling sorry for yourself and get on with it, shit happens. Anyone seen airplane, could you all queue up and shake and slap me as they do with the hysterical woman. Thanks.

{{{{hugs}}}} FF, I know exactly what you mean. I have had a few tearful episodes at school recently. Can any of your friends come and see you, have a coffee and a chat etc. Virtual hugs are good but we all need real ones every now and again. Don't beat yourself up for feeling overwhelmed - there's only so many things you can take on at once.

thanks amy, overwhelmed is how i feel, seeing anyone would make me feel even more overwhelmed and besides my house is a tip. Weird how school playground makes you want to cry. Hope your alright anyway sweet.

On monday she is going in for a lumpectomy and her lymph nodes removed. Apparently she will need physio and is concerned her arm will be quite weak. I have just spent the afternoon with her and she is frightened. We all know she will be fine, even she knows that, she is just really scared while waiting. I cant bare the thought of her on an operating table waiting to fall asleep. I said i would pray that some of her fear goes as that is the worst bit i think. While i was there she gave me a letter and i said i would wait till i got home till i read it. Just read it and it made me cry, its beautiful. We are becoming very close like we used to be.

just seen this ff so sorry to hear about your mum {{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxnikkixxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

wish i could be there with you ff, but am sending you all my positive thoughts for you and your mum.

I am glad that something positive is coming out of this, and you are getting closer again.

xx

Ditto lou, wish i could be with you also. I honestly hope you and your man get some positivity out of your situation xx

i hope so too for his sake, but i am cynical about it tbh

Its a tough one, really is, but you never know, if things can change so drastically for the worst, the opposite can happen sometimes

hopefully, i don't think he could cope with being rejected again, esp now.

Fairyfly

For what it is worth, I do not have a lymph node to call my own, on the left hand side of my body.

I have slightly, and I REPEAT slightly reduced mobility in my left arm. She will need to take every bit of physio they give her, but it will come back if she sticks at it.

I can't comment on the breast cancer issue as mine was a different type of cancer (extremely rare) (only I could manage to get something no one had heard of !!!!)

But seriously if you need to discuss the arm mobility thing I am here for you.

much love

Ditto for me, FF, only right side. If I stretch my arm vertically it pulls a bit compared with the L but that is all, and it is slightly weaker for lifting heavy things - to begin with after surgery it is uncomfortable/painful, and you have to work at it, but your mum should end up pretty near where she started, as long as she keeps using her arm and doing the exercises.

(And I am very glad that all this has helped put your relationship back where it should be )

Thanks you two, i will nag you both for answers in the future, when im making her do her excercises.

Great piece on breast cancer from the Guardian - helpful for both you and your mum I should think, FF.

Thankyou

There are some great photos in the magazine - her with blonde wig, chemo-baldy and chemo-curl - I could send it to you if you like?