My mums just rang to say she has breast cancer

[fairyfly]

I feel like im going to throw up

{{{{hugs}}}} Fairyfly. My mum was diagnosed just before xmas and I felt sick too. We had known about her lump for a few weeks and she had had several tests and by the time the results finally came we had pretty much convinced ourselves that it was benign. It was really awful listening to my dad crying on the phone and not being able to do anything. I think that the feeling of powerlessness is one of the hardest parts of all this. Mum had a lumpectomy the week before xmas and they removed 15 lymph nodes as well. The op went well and she was home for xmas. Unfortunately they found that 3 of the nodes were cancerous so she is now going to have to have chemo rather than the radiotherapy that we had hoped for. She saw her oncologist yesterday and he has said loads of positive stuff and at the moment we are all feeling quite positive. She shpuld hopefully start her chemo in a couple of weeks. Although i am still angry and upset that this is happening to my mum I actually feel more together now we know that she has to have chemo etc than I did before when we were still hoping that the lymph nodes would be clear. If you want to chat you can cat me. {{{hugs}}} again. Sian.

Sorry, didn't read all the thread properly before I posted. Why does she have to keep away from children?

So so sorry amy and thankyou so much for sharing that with me, i hope everything works out for you all, and ditto, if you want to chat

mmm the doctor said she was more likely to pick up bugs off them and she cant be operated on if she gets ill

Is she going to have chemo after all then, FF?

If she doesn't she doesn't need to stay away from the children; chemo knocks out all your white blood cells so you can't fight infection (I think it's white ones) but if she's not going to have it then it's not a problem.

Oh right that makes sense. Mum was a bit worried about a cold that she was getting over but luckily it didn't stop the op.

Oh, sorry, hadn't read your last one - just until she's had the op. Hope it's soon then.

Sorry to hear about your mum, annm - lots of luck to you all. XXX

Jan could you come on msn for one second, i promise i wont keep you

just saw this thread FF - so sorry to hear this news. Ime the shock and anger lasts for a while and then seeing your mum is still around day after day,and how normal her life can be around all the treatment,and dealing with the practicalities of the treatment itself, takes over and the shock and anger fade away a bit.

Thinking of you both and hoping for the best possible outcome.

MP

I feel totally stunned now, quite upset, a little confused with my feelings. Fear is battling with positivity.

I felt just the same fairyfly. Its so scary when its happening to someone you love. I wanted to stay positive for my mum and dad but on my own all the negative scary thoughts kept coming into my head. Read your good news earlier and feel sad for you that you cannot enjoy that more for worrying about your mum. I got my course results the week before xmas and got 70%. I was really excited and pleased and cried for about an hour when I first found out but once the excitment wore off I found that I didn't feel at all like celebrating.

I'll bet you are confused and fed up and angry and worried and hopeful and and and...

just don't expect too much of yourself at the moment. Look after you and your mum and try not to think too much about all the "what ifs"...just aim to deal with the shock for now

take care honey

((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

Thanks, its good (as ever) to be able to post about it all. I have two very strange threads on the go, feel a bit pissed

hope everything goes ok. my gran and aunt were both disagnosed with it and it is the most awful helpless feeling. Thoughts are with you, take care x x

FF is there any other questions you need answering about it honey?
I am sure we can all pool in and divulge our experiences to help you balance this out.
FWIW my mate said the Macmillan nurse and her friends were what kept her sane...
Lots of love what a torrid and turbulent time for you
xx
Piff

2 very strange threads is one way of putting it,ff (didn´t see this one before).

thinking of you.

Oh FF, how horrible. Don't have anything to add to what everyone else has said except thinking of you and your Mum.

Well im not suprised as she reminds me a bit of myself tbh, but she has gone on one and said she is fine, she doesn't want to see me, can i just shut up about it and get on with my life. Gutted a bit. Also really proud of her not folding, she said that she wants to just get strong in her head, be alone, then start seeing people. Fair enough. Im still going to visit her though.

My mum was a bit like this too FF. She was really scared and just didn't want to talk about it so we talked about everything else instead. Now she has talked to the oncologist and breast nurse and we know she'll be having chemo etc she has talked a lot more about how she is feeling. I think the shock of the results takes a while to wear off. Mum is still scared but she's coping. When mum went in for the op my sis and I arranged it so that one of us was there with dad every night. We didn't bother asking him as he would have said not to come - we just turned up. Go round to see your mum, play it her way if she doesn't want to talk about it and be strong for her. Then you can come back here and cry and scream if you want to.{{{hugs}}}.

Thanks amy your a sweety x

She has just rang, she wants me there now, happy me

xxxx

Oh good