My mums just rang to say she has breast cancer

[fairyfly]

I feel like im going to throw up

Of course you are, when you first get the news it's a horrible shock.

Once you get past that you can concentrate on other people's recoveries and other positive stuff - more good results than bad these days.

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and how did you feel dior, was it awful, or just awful when you found out, im so glad she got through it

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OMG Fairyfly I'm so sorry Best of luck to your mum whatever she chooses.

I feel really honoured my mum came to me tonight, really honoured. I know what you mean dior, my dad had a tumour on his brain ( or thereabouts) and the worst bit for me was seeing him all confused and weak after. Thanks cd, i really feel like kicking the crap out of something tonight, need yoga

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She is really scared

Can someone be honest with me now, what are the chances of her >vomit< dying?

Thanks Babe

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FF, I can't remember now the exact statistics overall - but I think they are better. It depends on all sorts of things - there are different types of breast cancer, for a start - and different levels of aggression. Also depends on whether cells have got into lymph glands (nodes?).
For e.g, my SIL had the most aggressive type, a big and advanced lump, and it had spread into her nodes. But after radical surgery (she decided to go for a mastectomy), chemo and radio, and discovering that her cancer was one for which tamoxifen was effective (not all are), then she now has a 75% chance of survival.

I think the BACUP booklet explains all this, and you and your Mum can ask all the right questions of her oncologist.

Hold tight, ff. Of course it is scary, and there are v sad stories, too, but until you know any different, the statistics these days are v much on your side.

XXXXXXXXX

I know they have to get rid of her lymph nodes?

Are they planning chemo?

no, i cant get much practical stuff out of my mum, we all get a bit emotional and talk about my kids, her love etc.... all i know is. she needs he lymph nodes removing and she can do it by gettting rid of her boob or a lumpo and the radio, i suppose if it doesn't work she'll have chemo? sorry im lost and really really angry

Oh sweetie. I don't know anything at all about any of the medical stuff except what happened to my SIL.
But in truth, that's all stuff to be got on with. A 1% risk to the life of a loved one is a 100% risk to your whole world. Stats mean nothing at all to feelings.
Of course you are angry and crying. So sorry.

Sorry to hear your news FF. Hopefully your mum will do well with treatment. Internet can scare you witless and doesn't give individual facts and figures. My son's friend had done brillianly after having bone cancer operated on and treated with chemo. Internet info made me so scared for him. He has responded far batter than anyone hoped. Scans are clear still. Just ask the doctors everything you need to know - they have knowledge of your mum that the internet does not. Please keep thinking positively.

Thanks mears, its not the internet though, im just crapping it, thanks blu, dont know what else to say, all i know is that its a normal thing and its in everyones family probably. I just dont need or want to hold my mum while im also sacred to death. My life has got nutty again xxxx

A few years ago my Mum left a message on my office anserphone (ffs) to tell me Dad had cancer. It turned out to be a misunderstanding on their part (fffffs!), but one of the over-riding feelings I remember when I played that message was a sort of selfish haert-sinking realisation that my life was going to be really miserable and distressing as his illness progressed. I didn't think I could cope.
The it was all proved to be a wild goose chase (benign) - but to my shame I felt a shiver of something similiar when my SIL was diagnosed when DS was 3 weeks old.

I'm so ashamed of that, but in the end we all looked after each other in a way that hadn't happened before.

i know what you mean about all of that blu, i really thankyou for speaking to me, i think you get it x

xxxx
Night night FairyFly.
People will be here.

ff, so sorry to hear about your mum. How are you doing? My nanna has had breast cancer twice (many, many years apart) the first time she had a lumpectomy, the second a mastectomy. My aunt also had it, in her early thirties, she had a double mastectomy (I think due to her age it was thought to be genetic, so at greater risk of returning). They are now both happy and healthy, living life to the full (nanna can outwalk me!). The treatments for breast cancer must have improved dramatically since then as well. In our area there are breast cancer nurses who are very approachable, and informative. Would you like me to get the number for you tomorrow?