The Great Cancer Recovery part 3

[TopOfTheCliff]

You may have finished active treatment for cancer, be in remission or NED. You want to look forward not dwell on the past. You know you ought to be eating well, exercising more and picking up the threads of your old life. Join us and share the ups and downs of recovery. We understand!

Here are some resources we found helpful:

The Mountain Lion
https://www.cancerpal.co.uk/post/what-it-s-really-like-to-receive-a-cancer-diagnosis

Peter Harvey on Psychology of recovery:
https://workingwithcancer.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/After-the-treatment-finishes-then-what.pdf

Resources from Penny Brohn:
https://pennybrohn.org.uk/our-approach/resources/

Breast Cancer Now Moving Forward:
https://breastcancernow.org/information-support/support-you/moving-forward

Get your Oomph Back with Carolyn Garritt
http://www.oomph.london/home.html

Charity providing treats for cancer patients:
https://somethingtolookforwardto.org.uk/

Exercise is good for you:
https://www.webmd.com/cancer/features/exercise-cancer-patients

Any more suggestions? Post them below

There is also a thread for those suspected to have cancer, or newly diagnosed and facing treatment, and also a thread for those with Stage IV cancer who want to talk to others in the same boat.

Just been swimming again, wasn't any easier than last time, got to 63 lengths but it's only a 15m pool and went in jacuzzi and sauna. A lady in the jacuzzi asked me why I was wearing a penguin swimsuit with another long sleeved top over the top and that was a good question. 🤣 It was largely as those were the first things to come out of the cupboard as lots of my stuff is packed now but also gives me a feeling am protecting the wounds more by being double covered. So we ended up swapping cancer stories as she had also had cancer. Is fine to bathe and swim now, it's just stomach feels really tight and like it's full of wires, it doesn't hurt it's just like everything is sown together super tight. I hope it will improve with time but at least it's just the stomach, the rest of me feels much better and back to normalish post op.

DD home and lovely to have her back. Second week at new job next week. Love it but tiring going back, glad am at home for the start. DD is going to Bristol to see her boyfriend for a couple of days next week then he will be around here too. Lovely roast dinner and apple crumble today. Hope everyone had a good weekend.

Enjoy Budapest Top

@TopOfTheCliff Enjoy Budapest - it’s a great city and the markets are lovely.

I’ve been gardening today. I have to do it in short bursts. Still very fatigued. Think I’ve got about another month of these drugs.

Hoping to plan a road trip/quick trip to Sydney over the holidays to see the cousins.

Also spoke to one of those ‘no claim no fee lawyers’ about insurance. I think I’m going to try myself first. As they will take a huge amount of money if I am successful. So I will give it a go. But currently I can’t retrieve the start I made on the claim…The website is not working.

Do those that exercise feel that it improves stamina and reduces fatigue? Last time I tried the fire alarm went off and I’m not sure I can cope with that again 🤣

Christmas decorations are up. Got some bargains in the animal protection charity shop - a wreath for a pound, a cut glass decanter and candle holders with candles for a fiver! Not bad!

Did another open mic reading which went well - I’m still looking for my tribe over here and think the search continues a bit.

Is anyone else obsessively watching The Mirror and the Light? It’s so well done!

Sounds like you got some good charity finds @FairyWren7 . I'm going to have a charity shop mooch later when I go to the library.

I've been watching The Mirror & The Light too. I'm enjoying it a lot and am a bit sad it's the last episode next week. Poor old Thomas C though, doing his best for Henry only to get turned on. I've always wondered why he's known as "Good King Henry", he was a thoroughly unpleasant man.

I’m packing my bags and emptying the fridge this morning. Oddly I don’t really feel like going away this week. I have become a bit of a home body recently and like to sleep in my own bed. I think once we are off I will enjoy myself though. We will start Christmassing when we get back.
@FairyWren7 exercise definitely helps but take it gently. I have visions of you working so hard in the gym that it gets red hot and sets off the alarm! Maybe start with something gentle like yoga or walking and build up. It has made a huge difference for me.
@MissMarplesNiece it was hard to watch poor Thomas being turned on by the conniving court. Knowing what is coming makes it hard to watch. I always hated history at school but this makes it so relatable. I was brought up Catholic so our school version of the Reformation made Henry the bad guy and celebrated the Catholic martyrs who died for their faith. It’s odd seeing a different perspective.

I do think exercise helps Fairywren but initially when you start exercising or increasing activity levels it can be very tiring before you feel the benefit. And it can be finding the time as well if you are already busy.

I definitely found swimming increased my fitness and mental health and stamina - that I could get back to fairly quickly as always been a swimmer. But as I started going 3 times a week after maybe a year or so in I noticed it was so much easier to walk and could suddenly go from struggling with walking a few miles after cancer treatment to doing it pretty easily (apart from bone aches around hips which start after an hour or two of constant walking, thanks Tamoxifen and menopause). I also went overweight for first time with cancer treatment and losing that weight and getting BMI back to normal really helped as well, it was about 13kgs and having that off, its 13kgs less to carry round. Now I've started working full-time post DIEP its a bit of a balance with how do I find time and how quickly should I get back into it. Surgery team said gradual and I've done 2 x swimming over past week and that seems OK. I am finding working full-time tiring so its good its home based so at least no commute. I hope you adjust to that in time too. So basically would say yes exercise helps, build up gradually, and it may feel tiring before it gives more energy as your body adjusts.

Husband has just gone to piano and we will have a Thai takeaway. I also just want to stay home as its dark, wet and cold outside most of the time though love things like Christmas lights and do always feel better for swimming but have a nice, cheapish private pool with jacuzzi, steam room and sauna.

@TopOfTheCliff - yes exactly! No more alarms. I need to do something. Walking the dog is good but it’s not going to do much.

@Penguinsa I think you are doing brilliantly. You’ve managed everything really well!
I’ve also got hip pain.I’ve got exercises from the physio to help with that. Need to get back into doing them day and night.

@MissMarplesNiece Mirror and the Light is so good - I’ve read most of Hilary Mantel’s books - the only one that has beaten me is her early one on the French Revolution - I need to try again there!

She uses loads of original source material. It just shows how utterly ‘dog eat dog’ it was. Henry had a habit of discarding people when they were no use to him anymore. But he does a similar thing with Cromwell that he did with Wolsey - he bemoans his loss because of the amount of work he did. I’m not looking forward to the last part - I’m intrigued as to how they will film it. Anne’s end was done with such realism, Claire Foy is a brilliant actress. She’s great in A Very British Scandal - the naughty duchess with Paul Bethany - utterly brilliant!

Went to photo club end of year thing yesterday, that was good. My husband had some entries, his photography is great.

Hope everyone enjoys the run up to Xmas!

Hi everyone long time no speak but I found out last week that my 3 month post treatment scans (I had mri and pet scan) came back with no signs of cancer. My lymph node in the pelvic area that started off at 18mm has shrunk to 8mm which is just off the cuff as normal so they want to scan me again in 3 months to check it's gone down some more but then it'll be scans every 6 months for a bit.

I am so relieved, this journey has been horrendous but I'm now going Japan in 21 days ready to start my 2025 off with a bang so on wards and upwards.

Had to laugh my next appointment with my oncologist should be by phone but she's made it face to face so she can look at my holiday photos 🤣

I hope everyone here is doing as well as they can be and trying to live their new normals ❤️

That's great news @catmomof3. One of my friends has just got back from Japan and she had an absolutely amazing time and loved everything, hope you do too!

I am also an exerciser, but I didn't ever really stop other for than three weeks after my hysterectomy, I carried on exercising all through chemo, just at home for the immediate week after and then at the gym for the two weeks after that until the cycle started again,. It makes me feel better about my body, but also mentally makes me feel like a superhero as well! I might not be saying that tomorrow though as I went to a functional strength class and I think I might be a bit achy, although I'm setting my alarm to do an early cardio session before work. I've also enjoyed getting into tennis for the social aspect.

That is brilliant news @catmomof3 🎉 Enjoy Japan!

I've had my end of treatment oncology appointment, I'm being kept under 6 month review for now. I've also been referred to a general surgeon to investigate my digestive woes, though the current thinking is that it's probably all treatment related. I was amused to be described as "young" in the referral.

It's cold, dark and wet here too, it's definitely difficult to exercise at this time of year.

@FairyWren7 I’m impressed you managed to get up enough of a head of steam exercising that you set the fire alarm off! I’m still plodding away at my weights and walking as much as I can. I always feel good after I’ve done it. Power walking in the Australian summer is a bit draining though.

@catmomof3 great news on your scan results and enjoy Japan! My neighbours are there right now and the photos are incredible.

Have fun in Budapest @TopOfTheCliff . My brother lived there for 6 years and I have fond memories of visiting him.

After our fun few days in Brisbane DH is keen to arrange our next mini break. This is when he misses living in Europe with all the city breaks on offer. He was wanting to go to NZ this weekend to catch the cricket test match between England and NZ and we could see my nephew who has just moved to Auckland from the US to do his masters degree. But I realised that my passport has expired! I’ve submitted the renewal but have little hope of receiving it quickly at this time of year.

My appointment with the liver clinic went much better than I feared. My liver function is still outside the normal range but much better than it was a year ago. So no biopsies or steroids needed phew! The specialist can’t discharge me yet so I will still need 6-mthly reviews until it returns to normal levels. But he says I can live with these levels for my whole life without any impact on my health. I’m so relieved.

@remaker - no top was just referencing when I swam for the first time in ages and the fire alarm went off!

NZ for the weekend could be fun! We had booked to go before I got unwell. Maybe next Christmas?!

Good news about your tests. No harm in keeping an eye on it.

I’m the same. It’s not exercising outside weather for me. Need to walk dog early and late at the mo because of the strength of the sun.

I think you should stick to my story @FairyWren7 😆

I've got a phone appointment with my Consultant this morning, I'm feeling a bit nervous. I want to discuss my liver function tests with him, my GP did the tests and have just referred the results back to hospital. I dislike phone consultations and feel much more comfortable face to face but since Covid everything seems to default to telephone. I appreciate its a faster way of doing things and saves me a trip to hospital, paying for parking, sitting in waiting room etc, but I have phone phobia and dread speaking on the phone where I can't see the body language, facial expression etc of the person I'm speaking to. I was also meant to have a CT scan before my appointment but that got cancelled because I needed a kidney function test beforehand and I'm still waiting for a rearranged appointment, so I'm thinking Consultant won't be able to tell me much until that's been done.

@FairyWren7 I love Hilary Mantel's books. Have you read Eight Months on Ghazza Street? It's my favourite by her. I wrote to her telling her how much pleasure reading her books had given me (the only "fan" letter I've ever written) and she sent me a lovely long letter back.

How did it go @MissMarplesNiece? I sympathise, I hate the phone too for anything really.

I've got digestive woes @demivolte - I had some blood tests, and I've seen these have come back normal but I can't face looking to see the details of any of them I'm being chased to return a FIT. The first one genuinely didn't arrive then the second arrived just as I was about to go up north to see DD, then I didn't do it for another week because I was busy and the whole thing is traumatic, I'm not sure there's enough acknowledgement about how having had cancer, affects you capacity to cope with medical stuff on an ongoing basis. I've had the same symptoms for over a year and they come and go and I think they're stress related, exacerbated by possibly eating too much fibre, but I feel some degree of denial is needed otherwise I wouldn't manage to get through the days.

I'm incredibly tired today, I'm assuming it's because I never sleep quite enough, I had a hectic week last week, work is still busy, and I was in the gym at 6:30am. I've barely thought about Christmas, I need to get a grip on Christmas shopping!

I’m sorry to hear about your digestive troubles @demivolte and @SierraSapphire. My mum suffers from anxiety related tummy trouble. Every time I pick her up to go for a checkup (she had endometrial cancer 2 years ago) she’ll tell me she has ‘an upset tummy’. If I’m going through a bad patch I cut back on dairy, eggs, onion and sugar and try to boost my good bacteria. People in my colectomy group swear by Metamucil which seems a bit counterintuitive as it’s designed to combat constipation but it’s a bulking agent. One of my friends gives it to her dog to treat diarrhoea!

Thank you, the symptoms are certainly inconvenient and I have limited enthusiasm for more investigations. I can't work out whether certain foods make it worse although mince pies are a definite no go, sadly.

I hope your appointment went well @MissMarplesNiece and I agree that face to face is in many ways easier. That's lovely about your letter from Hilary Mantel. One of the few positive things to come out of my time off for treatment is that I've had time to read and have remembered how much I enjoy it.

I hope everyone has a good weekend.

It was a new Consultant who phoned me for my appointment. She was really nice, one of the first things she asked me was whether I was OK with phone appointments or whether I would prefer f2f in the future.

Had my ( hopefully) final appointment with my consultant today and he's reassured me that I have healed well and he won't contact me now until May for a mammogram.
Just got the neuropathy to overcome now.
Very relieved but news was rather overshadowed by finding out that my son had been blue lighted to hospital on his 40th birthday (also today.)
Thankfully I've since found out that the drs think it's a uti infection which they are treating and they're keeping him overnight to monitor him.
Didn't really think about my own appointment as I was so worried about him!
Wishing you all a peaceful and loving Christmas. Xx

Oh @Zoopet I do hope your son is recovering well. It is a mixed feeling when the health spotlight moves on from us to our loved ones. It is almost easier to cope with illness myself than see my DC struggling. One of mine has mental health problems and I hate causing her distress worrying about me. Thankfully things are going better for us both now.
I have had a wonderful few days away. Budapest is a stunningly beautiful city and very easy to get around. We hired bikes one day and rode up the Danube to a little town with a Christmas Market. I am home now and catching up on laundry, leaf sweeping, tidying and decorating.
I have a niggling friend problem I would value advice on. You sensible people can tell me what to do. My “friend” I have known since I met my DH as he met her on a dating site. She has been desperate to find somebody wealthy to keep her in comfort. Married twice before. DH was too poor and scruffy for her 😂 but useful. She has a string of men who she gets to do jobs for her (gardening, DIY, chopping logs etc). She is very attractive! And a good cook.
When I was going through chemo she was quite a good friend. Last year she met a new man and Boom! She disappeared!! She has stopped all her hobbies, changed her diet to suit him, gone on endless holidays with him and had cosmetic surgery and a new wardrobe and car bought by him. We haven’t met him. She has just got engaged and wants us to celebrate with her. Bear in mind DH has had a shocker of a year, lost both DPs, been assaulted and been in hospital. She hasn’t once asked after him, or asked whether we are free to meet New Man. The only invite we had was when we were away in Canada and she was annoyed we hadn’t told her we were going away. I have messaged her to ask for a catch up to talk things through but she has ignored me. I don’t think I actually like her behaviour and I am not sure I want to be friends with somebody who acts like this. On the other hand she will be wife no 4 and I have a funny feeling New Man may be isolating and controlling her.
She is hosting a social event tomorrow and DH is going but I am not. (She hasn’t invited us it’s an open house thing). I am actually busy but could find time if I wanted to. What should I do? I am feeling very uncomfortable about the whole situation and hurt and angry too if I am honest.

I think you know the answer

I think if you do genuinely you want to meet up and talk with her @TopOfTheCliff then I'd give it one more go on the basis that we can all miss messages when we are busy, but recognise that you can't solve anyone's problems without them wanting to change themselves if she still doesn't respond. If DH is going then maybe you can get a sense from him after tomorrow about what he thinks is going on. Otherwise, probably all you can do is be there to pick up the pieces.

I've just got back from a trip to London to see old friends. They were my friends from before DD was born nearly 22 years ago, none of them had kids so our lives divergent a bit, but now I have no one to look after I'm back unable to be around again, it feels nice to slot back in again as if I've never been away (I have kept close touch with one of the group so have known what's been going on in everyone's lives). I did drink a bit last night, I didn't drink alcohol at all for about five years, and now drink very rarely, so it feels slightly transgressive! Anyway, it was a lovely 24 hours, and today we matched around markets and ate and drank coffee!

I also had a normal result from my FIT that the GP had done just in case my digestive issues were more serious, I didn't think I had the right symptoms for cancer, but it was still there in the back of my mind. I also suspect it's certain foods @demivolte but other than yoghurt I can't make any links, and dairy itself seems okay, so who knows?!

You are so kind Fairywren Hope things are going well for you.

Great you had a normal result from your Fit test Sierra and sounds like a lovely trip with friends.

Glad you had a good trip to Budapest Top. Do whatever you feel comfortable doing with the friend, for me I would go along with my DH if I wanted to go to the event but just view it as a social event. Or stay home if I didn't feel like it.

Glad you are healing well Zoopet and hope your DS is now recovered.

Glad the appointments went well Remaker, Demi and Cat Japan sounds great.

Finished second week of full-time work, loving it, was scary stopping ESA but have been paid for the month already which helps but it is tiring. Been swimming twice this week, did about 62 lengths each time but just a 15m pool, nice to go in jacuzzi, steam room, sauna etc and also as we got a rare bit of good weather DH and I went gardening today as now passed 12 weeks from surgery and we cleared a lot of the leaves, 2 big green bins full. Garden looks nice for this time of year. DD has been home a week and lovely to have her back, she went to Bristol to see her boyfriend for a couple of days mid week but now he is also back here and they are off out having dinner together at the moment. DH also admitted that when he went to collect DD from Oxford on the way there was a classic car auction which he just happened to place a low bid on a car and won. So now he has a new toy, thankfully its fully restored. He's rented a garage to keep it in but needs something through before he can drive it. He's keeping it secret from DD at the moment and wants to surprise her.

And in boring Tamoxifen news, as I won't get a choice of brands on my remote island I decided to try the bad brand I had first month again and it was fine now so think it was more it was first month issues not the brand.

I also found it amusing in cancer treatment to be called young all the time at 48 /49 and after this surgery my female surgeon kept referring to me as petite. 😂I'm taller than average and bmi is 24.5 so not petite in any sense but nice to be called petite.

Hello all, good to catch up on news- so glad to hear new jobs are going well @sierra and @Penguinsa and the check ups and tests are ok @SierraSapphire and @Zoopet
Your break sounds wonderful @TopOfTheCliff - as others say, whatever feels right for you. It sounds like maybe this friendship has shifted into something else? I have been surprised at how some friendships have ebbed and flowed through cancer and recovery, and bereavement. Some are brilliant during tough times, or just fantastic company in the good ones. The really special ones can do both.
A very dear older friend has just been diagnosed with leukaemia- with talk of managing it, not treating it. So hard to see her and her lovely family go through it all.

@Remaker its a better story for sure!

@MissMarplesNiece Yes I thought it was interesting especially after my own experience living on a compound in Doha for a couple of years. Fortunately ours was a nice mixture of western girls (it was considered too dangerous to live near the school in an industrial city of 40,000 men) so my experience was a bit different.

I liked all of her books - especially Beyond Black. Even though it’s quite bizarre. I think she saw ghosts in real life. In some ways I’ve trod a similar path to her, similar health issues, sadly nowhere near as accomplished a writer! I hope one day I manage to get a book published!

@TopOfTheCliff sounds like a tricky one. Pros and cons for addressing it directly and also for letting it slide. She hasn’t shown herself to be a good friend so assume that, that is where she sits as more of an acquaintance.

I’m worried about a dear friend of mine at the moment, on the rebound she’s got herself involved in a relationship with someone who already has a partner who he lives with and has children with. It’s classic midlife crisis territory and she hasn’t had much luck with men.
Whilst at home it was a bit tricky - I said really clearly that if he wasn’t happy he needed to leave the relationship before starting another but of course that didn’t happen. It’s not like my friend to do something like this. I’m worried she will be hurt again. But at the time I was a bit hurt because a lot of her attention went on this relationship and not on our friendship. Tricky. The whole ‘couldn’t keep their hands off of each other’ was a bit much to be about. I had quite a strong reaction to it. Very uncomfortable to be around.

Sorry to hear about people’s tummy issues. I’m stuck in an ongoing cycle myself due to the gynae issues. Metamucil has always made me feel dreadful. Gluten can be a trigger for me. I can get away with a couple of slices of nice bread once in a while but I mainly stick to gluten free. It may be that there are undiagnosed food sensitivities. I’m still taking the immunotherapy drugs so that isn’t helping me. Plus the endo thing. Digestive issues and menopause/gynae stuff is a real issue. I find nuts and grains aren’t great either. One of my friends was lactose intolerant. So many little issues can contribute. Hope everyone gets answers.

I managed a swim, stretches and lots of dog walking this week. Going to try and keep going. More job rejections and applications. I’m also trying to make an insurance claim, a ‘win win’ firm contacted me so I had a chat to them. Found out the amount of money they would take so I’m going to try and make a claim myself. I’ve been so lucky to have a supportive husband, father and have saved hard in the past. This year my house in the UK will generate a small income as well. I just need an ok job. Nothing flash, just something to keep me occupied and pay some bills. Not much to ask. I’ve redone the cv and am now trying to lift key phrases from job ads and put these into the cc and cover letter - that way if AI is screening me out I have hopefully fixed it.

@Penguinsa we did a bit in the garden. The weather is going to smash my roses and I’ve got a shade cloth for the tomatoes - tomorrow is going to be nearly 40 degrees here. It’s so satisfying to see it all looking better.

We went to see The Killers at the weekend - they were awesome. I missed my UK friends but it was good to have a night out with my husband. Even if he isn’t that keen on loud concerts!

Be lucky! 🥵 Bloody hot here!