Bum surgery- is it really worth it?

[oberst]

I'm not sure what else to call it, it could be a haemorroidectomy but not sure as doctor has said it's more like a skin tag now.

I have had this pile (dw I won't upload a photo 🫠) for 12 years. It inflates and flares up then deflates like a balloon.

When it flares up, it can be itchy and sore; especially with a bowel movement but it's not AGONISING. It's just 'there' and annoying and uncomfortable. This happens every couple of months. I've done creams and suppositories.

My main reason for removal though is because it doesn't look very nice. I don't like my partner going down there, and I get all on edge when we are intimate. I don't want to feel like this every time, I love sex and intimacy but this just puts me off. I hate it.

I went to see my consultant yesterday, he said it was more like a skin tag than anything. He has seen the photos of when it is flared up. It's probably the size of a blueberry but deflated. Then it gets swollen when flared up.

I have heard and read that the recovery for this is excruciating. Because they just slice it off and that's it. No sutures etc.

The consultant said they'd give me laxatives and pain relief. But the horror stories out there are making me so anxious.

Because it's not internal and it's just one, will it still be just as bad?

The position of it is basically the nearest to my vagina, if that makes sense.

Do I go ahead and just put up with the pain?

It's set for the 17th July. I go on holiday for two weeks on the 9th August and get married in October. Will it be worth it? It is bloody annoying when it flares up and it is unsightly.

Anyone out there who's had the procedure? Any advice?

Thank you!

My dh had the same thing and had surgery to remove in January. He's still recovering and says he'd never have had it done had he known. He might be a rare case though but he's been pretty much housebound for three months, he's just getting out and about now.

Crikey. That's a long recovery? I have read that it's so painful, for at least ten days. Everything I have read is all negative. I'm just not sure if it's worth it or not.

I had a local anaesthetic lunchtime procedure to remove a haemorrhoid.

It's not a massage, I'll say that much.

They bent me over, sprayed numbing spray for a bit, left me 5 mins, came back and then it was a syringe in the bum next to the haemorrhoid. Then came the scalpel.

I could feeeeeeel it, so they said they'd have to inject me a bit more. I wasn't crying in pain, but it was me humming quite loudly to dissociate and the nurse was trying to shush me a bit and distract.

I couldn't really feel the stitches (dissolvable). Then they sprayed me again, had to go sit in the waiting room for 20 mins, then be checked and sent on my way.

The first poop I had was a handrail-gripper.

However, I was super self-conscious too, and for the sake of like a quick appt, am glad I had it done. Had I been bothered and could wait however long, I would have gone NHS and had general anaesthetic. Instead, I paid maybe £400 and went private.

I am curious as to why they won't suture it? I guess in case it reopens?

What was the recovery like for you? Did you just have one removed? I don't think I'd like to have local though haha that is brave

I only had my appointment yesterday and I was surprised they have told me I'll be seen next month!

My husband has awful piles and opted for banding instead. We ended up in A&E the next day as the pain was that bad and he was in bed for at least a week. It didn't fix it, either!
He considered haemerroidectomy, but all the research I did suggests the recovery is even worse and he can't be off work that long.

I've had to read this several times to make sure I'm not misunderstanding, but you're seriously going going to have surgery primarily because your arsehole doesn't look very nice? What does a nice arsehole look like? I'm not sure that I've ever seen one that I would describe as attractive! It's not often that I'm completely gobsmacked, but I am today. 😂😂😂

Well, I'm glad I could cause such a huge impact on you today.

Yes, it is both reasons. I do suffer with pain, I can't sleep at night sometimes because of it. I bleed when I go to the toilet. It looks like bloodshed. They itch me and make me feel gross.

But, yes it also looks unsightly! I have or had a very active sex life with my partner. But now it's in the dark and I don't want him to be intimate as much as I'd like because I have a dangling skin tag/pile! And of course bum holes aren't exactly nice looking haha! But mine could look better than it does now that's for sure.

Thank you for your interesting comment though.

Yes, my consultant said that mine isn't able to be banded. Just an open cut. Which concerns me.

I am unsure if the recovery would be less intense because it's just one that needs to be chopped. And it's external.

Not wishing go sound facetious but why can't it be tied off like a skin tag or lambs tail so that the blood supply stops and it shrivels off and dies?

When my daughter was 11 and had just started senior school she was self conscious about a mole on her waistline that would often be caught on clothing. It was like a very small malteser so I tied a thread around it tightly (she said it felt like a mild burning sensation but no real pain) and after a couple of days it had severely shrivelled and then it went crispy and flaked off.

It healed like a small sore in a couple of days and was white like a tiny scar and then became invisible.

Was it a thrombosed pile OP? They are unbelievably painful and leave quite a large skin tag.

Growlybear, if someone has a thrombosed pile or several/ many problems with piles over the course of years it can leave several skin tags. These can make cleaning more difficult as well as looking unsightly. Not sure I’d opt for surgery if I had the problem though as how do people cope/use the toilet during recovery?

I asked about banding, consultant said no. And this isn't something I want to do myself at home DIY style!

@EatCrow Yes, it is. It flares up still. So, it'll be deflated then it inflates and it's so sore, purple etc where I assume it's filled with blood.

I was hoping because it's just the one, it won't be as bad.. but who knows.

@EatCrow and you are correct, I have to use baby wipes to make sure I am clean.

An old friend of mine suffered with one, it was years ago now and I don’t see her anymore but I’m sure she mentioned something about cauterising it. Has that ever been mentioned to you?

If you decide not to get it done you could spend the money you would have spent on a fancy Japanese toilet, that would make it easier to keep clean.

We had a bidet installed in our previous house so that DH could get properly clean, (he had problem haemorroid ) and now we've moved we have a German shower toilet/ bidet toilet/ washlet. (Gerberit, they're called various things. )
They aren't cheap but they work very well. (Ours has a coyly-named Lady Shower mode too which is also very handy... )

I get your dilemma. I have a similar issue which happened in late pregnancy a long time ago.

I've decided to leave it. It really isn't that awful to look at. Plus, it's hardly like mens' bum holes are anything to write home about!

I find a dab of EMLA cream mixed with a blob of vaseline is very relieving if it flares up.

OP - no clue re suturing. Mine was also obvs external - I think alternative treatments are more plentiful when they're internal?

Just that one first poop was a struggle, then totally fine. Could sit down no problem, go on a bicycle the next day etc

'Dw I didn't upload a photo' 😂

IYKYK

Sorry OP, but that made me chuckle

Curious if I would feel better if they sutured it but he said yesterday they wouldn't. Unsure why. I guess it could reopen when I went to the loo?

I was planning on just having a load of laxatives before and after so it was 'so' bad.

Op, my dh's was as a result of a huge thrombosed pile. It caused him so many problems. His consultant was a man of few words who didn't really go into the recovery with him in detail, just said "it might not be as quick as you'd like". He went ahead with the surgery which was an open wound and sent home with sachets of laxatives that he has to take for the rest of his life. Because he needed to keep the wound clean he had to shower after every bowel movement (of which he was having several a day due to having to keep his bowels loose and when he needed to go he had to go!) so it literally meant he couldn't leave the house unless it was straight after a bowel movement and he didn't go further than the end of the road because he couldn't wipe for ages, had to use a shower/get in the bath. This went on for three months.

He's turned a bit of a corner now but he's still in a bit of pain and bleeding. He's managing to control his bowel movements by being strategic about how much he takes and when which means he can at least leave the house now.

The problem with this type of surgery is the place you are trying to heal is constantly being irritated.

He hasn't had any benefit of the surgery yet, wishes he'd never bothered.

As for pain, he said it wasn't as bad as he was expecting but it's the bleeding and being aware that he may shit himself at any given opportunity that has been the worst thing for him. At one point we did think maybe the surgery had left him incontinent to be honest but he seems to slowly have made an improvement now.

Obviously I think his is maybe am extreme case, his skin tag was very large.

I

There is a post from years back on this that you may find helpful. I too had it done and my experience is on that post.

Anal skin tag surgery. Frightened. Any experience? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/general_health/2458570-Anal-skin-tag-surgery-Frightened-Any-experience

Given the descriptions it doesn't sound as though the waiting list is going to be very long!

I’m a surgeon. They can’t stitch it as the risk of it being infected and breaking down is high.
The timing with your holiday is dreadful . Your won’t be able to go in the pool or sea/ sand. Hot weather will make you sweaty and more uncomfortable. If you have the surgery I would cancel the holiday. Sorry …