Bum surgery- is it really worth it?

[oberst]

I'm not sure what else to call it, it could be a haemorroidectomy but not sure as doctor has said it's more like a skin tag now.

I have had this pile (dw I won't upload a photo 🫠) for 12 years. It inflates and flares up then deflates like a balloon.

When it flares up, it can be itchy and sore; especially with a bowel movement but it's not AGONISING. It's just 'there' and annoying and uncomfortable. This happens every couple of months. I've done creams and suppositories.

My main reason for removal though is because it doesn't look very nice. I don't like my partner going down there, and I get all on edge when we are intimate. I don't want to feel like this every time, I love sex and intimacy but this just puts me off. I hate it.

I went to see my consultant yesterday, he said it was more like a skin tag than anything. He has seen the photos of when it is flared up. It's probably the size of a blueberry but deflated. Then it gets swollen when flared up.

I have heard and read that the recovery for this is excruciating. Because they just slice it off and that's it. No sutures etc.

The consultant said they'd give me laxatives and pain relief. But the horror stories out there are making me so anxious.

Because it's not internal and it's just one, will it still be just as bad?

The position of it is basically the nearest to my vagina, if that makes sense.

Do I go ahead and just put up with the pain?

It's set for the 17th July. I go on holiday for two weeks on the 9th August and get married in October. Will it be worth it? It is bloody annoying when it flares up and it is unsightly.

Anyone out there who's had the procedure? Any advice?

Thank you!

@HelloCheekyCat thank you for this. And for hearing me. I appreciate

Is it because it gets poo near it after and that it's a well used area? And maybe because we're sitting on it constantly

Oh god no, absolutely don't do it! Not so close to your holiday.

I had it done under GE a couple of years ago. I have a chronic bowel disease and two kids so no stranger to pain but this was other level.

Afterwards, for about 2 weeks, the only way I could poop (sorry tmi) was standing up in the shower with the water running and even then I was crying in pain. That was after laxatives.

It took about a month to feel anywhere near normal again.

It's been worth it now, I'm pain free and everything looks and feels great, but the recovery was nothing short of torturous.

This is my honest evaluation of having a very recent haemorrhoidectomy, lots of TMI be warned!!
I had surgery a week ago, originally to band one external stage 3 haemorrhoid that would regularly thrombose, and the removal of 3 external skin tags. At the time I was more scared of the spinal block I was due to have. The surgeon said he would check internally while I was there and if any hems were found did I consent to having those banded too? Like an idiot I said yes. I had it done as, like the original poster said, I had become self conscious during sex, was always apologising during smear tests and was paranoid about cleaniness.
I had suffered for 8 years as the painful haemorrhoids began after my c sections.
So, the reality of surgery? It hurts like nothing I've ever known. The first night was unbearable, codeine barely took off the edge off and I couldn't get in any comfortable position at all, I literally wanted to die. You also lose a great deal of pinky/yellow watery discharge which went everywhere despite wearing 2 maternity pads, it smelt horrible and I wasnt expecting it, had to get my amazing DH to wash the bedding daily (ended up using puppy pads in the bed) I was shaking with pain and constantly crying. I felt a constant pressure and only when I rang the hospital was I told I had a spongy anal tampon inserted during surgery which was probably causing the intense pressure, it comes out with your first BM. I had no appetite due to the pain but made myself eat fruits and loads of liquids as I was terrified of getting constipated. On the 4th day I had the dreaded first BM. I'm not going to lie, it was excruciating. I had a full on sweats, felt violently sick and very faint and then my abdomen went into spasms and it came out with no control which frightened me. I spent nearly all night in the bath to ease the pain and had to ring the Dr. The only thing that helped was codeine, and, bizarrely, popping an anusol supposterie not in me but between my bum cheeks as it melted and helped calm the inflammation. I had to go the next day too which didn't involve spasms but was still very painful, the same the day after that. I would say don't avoid the urge, go if you need too but keep your pain meds up and run a bath beforehand too as you will bleed. I'm now on day 7 and starting to walk a little better and feel a bit more positive though climbing stairs, getting dressed (living in big pants and soft pjs at the mo) coughing and sneezing are pretty tricky but I've been prescribed a local anaesthetic gel to apply and the discharge is easing. In hindsight if I'd had known how bad it'd be I would have said no, but my Dr said they don't tell you the truth or everyone would cancel it! Stock up on moist toilet paper, big sanitary pads, absorbent pads for bed or sofa, numbing cream, get your sick note for at least 3 weeks and most if all be gentle on yourself, it's a horrible op to go through but as I keep telling myself it will be worth it. Oh, and don't look at your wound on day one, you"ll wonder how you'll ever poop again, as the swelling is immense and covers everything but it will go down!!! Good luck. 👍

That's a great account, it's good to see warts and all. It's just such a sensitive well used area isn't it. Hope you continue to feel better each day

I'm going under general on Monday for the same thing plus internal banding. My surgeon told me it's very straight forward and I only need a week off work

I would plan for longer. My recovery took about 2 weeks and that was apparently quick.

get yourself a sitz bath (a bowl that goes over the toilet that you fill with water), some instillagel (anaesthetic gel) and haemorrhoid cream

I would definitely get a sick note for longer, my surgeon gave me a note for 2 weeks at the hospital but I'll definitely need longer. Make sure you also take meds regularly with maintenance doses rather than waiting fir the pain to hit. I found 2 paracetamol with 2 codrine the best. I'm a bit concerned that I had an external one banded as everything I'm reading online now says that you should only band internal haemorrhoids? Everyday I'm checking to see if it's fallen off yet...life goals at the moment have definitely shifted!!!

Thank you, I was worried after posting that I have been a bit too honest (I'm a news reporter) but I wish I'd read something like that prior to surgery! I naively thought I would just take one day off then get back to work, even told my boss that too 😀 it was my husband's birthday 3 days after then father's day after that and I couldn't celebrate either properly. Thank god for Amazon delivery and my amazing girlfriends for helping. My two DS's, 8 and 13, have been fantastic too, I was very honest about what I had done (though not as graphic as my post!) Quite a few times they had to use the bathroom to brush teeth before bed with mum soaking in the bath for hours (with strategically placed flannels and sponges!)

Okay I have made my mind up 😂😂 I am not going ahead with it. Nope. No thank you!

@Dolls1973, @Priority1234 , and others who have had it done, one poster (I think it was @Tanfastic ) said their DH have to take laxatives forever. Have you had this experience? This also scares me.

I work in a school so they won't let me until I assess myself at the end of the first week. Massively appreciate the tips though!

I definitely appreciate the truth!
Eg after one of my sections I had a wound drain sewn in my skin. Nurses told me not to worry about it getting pulled out when it was time do it. So I asked people I knew who'd had it done and they said it was incredibly painful and nurses usually pulled it out too fast. So on that knowledge I asked to pull it out myself and it was much better! Now I research everything and want the full story. Same with natural birth, real accounts put me off so I opted for sections instead of listening to "it'll be fine"

I could have gone to work the next day!

What!! Don't come in here and make me rethink cancelling it 😂

I did decline two dates that were before holidays @oberst
They kept offering my cancellation slots with two days notice.

This thread is really making me thing if I need to have a grade 4 internal hem and anal skin tag removed. It bleeds after almost every poo and has done for about 8 months, but not sure if I can cope with the pain of the op. Maybe wait to see if it gets worse and just put up with usually light bleeding.

Was this private?

apparenty you can laser it out, did they offer this option?

Mine is private, I'm not being lasered

I have one too, but haven't had a flare up in ages as I've been making sure I have a good amount of fibre to keep everything soft. And then I try to forget about what it looks like 🤦🏻‍♀️. DH doesn't stop going down there so he obviously isn't too put off 🤣

I had anal skin tag removal, they were left over from haemorrhoids during my first pregnancy

They cut them off but don't stitch them as they heal better without. I'm not going to lie, it was painful for the first few days going for a poo but I also had internal haemorrhoid banding at the same time and I think that was more painful

Overall, I'm glad I had them done, I feel much less self conscious and a few days of pain was worth it, I was back at work after 3 days and I sit at a desk

Following as I have just seen a consultant and been advised surgery is the only treatment option for me. I have read similar threads before, so I am well aware of how awful it will be, but after suffering for 10 years with 3/4 large external piles+ skin tags I think I have had enough. These are my main reasons:

• Chafing is a huge issue. I have to wear a thick reusable pad to be able to wear trousers at all or they swell up straight away. Maxi skirts ftw, but more wardrobe options would be nice. I dream of going for a walk wearing gym tights.
• A few times a year they get strangled/thrombosed which causes unbearable pain. Last flare up I was screaming in the car as if I was giving birth, only the pain was a lot worse.
• Even though my DH assures me it is fine, they make me feel so unsexy. I hate that my body is so “ruined” and I am only in my 30s. I feel like if our relationship would ever end I could never have another intimate relationship.
• I am terrified of having to have a BM away from home because hygiene is a nightmare. Wiping takes ages and is near impossible without access to water. On the rare occasion I have had to do it, a UTI has followed. This means I barely eat at work which isn’t great.

In my position, would you go through with the surgery?

100%, you can't live like that

Amazon sell small bottle type bidets. Brilliant and cheap and discrete enough to take away with you.

I had two externals removed and the post surgical pain was absolutely fine as long as I took enough laxido to keep everything semi liquid for quite a few weeks. And I had to use a handheld bidet. I let the internet horror stories put me off having the surgery for nearly 4 years and I really regret that.

Definitely wouldn't to go on a pool/beach holiday a few weeks after though.