Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support IV

[lackaDAISYcal]

Evening all - how is everyone?

OifOif - 3 weeks is truly fantastic!! Even if you still crave a drink, you must be feeling the benefits by now? Even I've felt better with just 3 nights off!

Well done to anyone else abstaining / cutting down / thinking about it

Made an executive decision yesterday that I would allow myself to drink tonight. Maybe the inevitable hangover tomorrow will spur me onto going for it again next week (how's you head now Dinny!!)

Have friends coming down this weekend and there's no way I'll not drink so my plan is to quit Sunday or Monday and go without next week (although taking it a day at a time IYSWIM).

For anyone who has trouble sleeping when not drinking - I forgot to say - I bought Kalms bedtime thingies and they've really helped. They're natural (I think?) but you pop a few an hour before bed and it helps you to relax.

Have a good night all. I'm sure I'll be popping back later if the white wine is on the go!

Gerbra x

Apologies for my absence, have had no phone or internet for over 2 days, bleddy Talktalk!!!! There has been so much activity on this thread (brilliant!) I don't feel like I can try and catch up individually, hope you don't mind, but it sounds as though we're all doing well in our own way. Either abstinence, or cutting down, or even if we've hiccupped, accepting it and moving on.

I am posting before the first drink of the night, which will be a small rum and then wine. I fought and fought the urge to go and buy gin; it's odd with the rum because technically it's dh's so would'nt really give it welly anyway. But somehow, don't have the urge to neck it like i do gin....just lurve that gin.

I'm going on holiday in less than 3 weeks with my lovely sil en famille, hubby, 3 kids (21,19,9) and mil. None of whom drink, except the 19 yr old girl, very occasionally. Aaaarrrgggh. Have no idea what i'm going to do. If anyone remembers the old, old threads I have a history of embarrassing pissed moments on holiday, which was bad enough with my sister who likes here wine, but with a bunch of teetotallers.......

Oh, well, one day at a time. Baby steps. They are really working in other areas of my life. I think it is because I'm a very 'all or nothing person' generally, so it's retraining my brain to make very small changes i can stick to, and then sticking to them day in day out. It really has changed my mindset about lots of things I found problematic, troublesome, or just a pain in the ass. Changing the behaviour changes the mindset changes the behaviour...iyswim..? Anyway, hope you all have a good evening, will try and pop on again later if i can prize dh off (the computer not me!!!), and catch up with you all in real time, as it were. Well done, and hugs everyone.xxx

evening ladies, strength to all. I've a 5 month old son, I've found the whole experience quite stressful/ demoralising, and have had a good glass of wine every single night since he was born, once he's down and finished feeding from me (he gets one bottle at night). I've very occasionally drunk half a bottle if on a rare night out, normally stick to the 1 glass, but it has been every single night since labour, and if I'm honest the thought of not having that makes me feel mildly panicked. I'd welcome frank opinions of whether you all think this is problematic or an acceptable way of getting through this period of my life.
Should add before motherhood I was a total pisshead of the fine wine variety xx

ladypanda you sound like a right old lush
I have no advice at all
one glass a night sounds tickety boo to me
Well under your units unless it is a 500ml glass
but then who am I to judge

Hi Ladypanda,
From what you said, it doesn't sound excessive in terms of quantity consumed...but...if it's making you worry than maybe try and cut it out for a while.

I drink far far more than one glass most nights and would be very happy if I could limit myself to one glass a night

I haven't totted up the units but I'd say you were under the weekly 'healthy' limit. The psychological factor though is another issue - like I said if the amount/regularity you're drinking is concerning you, perhaps have a break for a while and see how things go - I know this isn't always easy!

I'm sure you'll get some more expert advice soon but these are just my thoughts.

Good luck!
Gerbrajess

Hi Gracepaley, I used to have no more than a coupe of glasses for a couple of years after giving birth (also formally a big drinker)It is only relatively recently that I have pushed it up and up and now I'm at a bottle a night again. I really regret that I am back to where I started before motherhood. I had really hoped that the abstinence of pregnancy and breastfeeding had changed the way I drank. I don't think you are drinking a lot but if it's worrying you then try and cut back. You might be totally different to me but I'd love to be able to go back to where you are and use the last of the less drinking momentum of having a baby to make it easier to cut down now.
Is there anything about being a new Mum you want to talk about that makes you hit the wine?

thank you
might build up to a night off. When I've had some sleep, which is safely miles away.
hic ;)

you can do it lp - break the cycle I mean. You can. You can. If you want to.

Sending much love

{raises glass of fennel tea sanctimoniously} ..xx

Ladypanda, truly at this stage in the game, and at the amounts you are mentioning, I really wouldn't worry. I don't say this lightly; I remember those early few months and know how desperately important it was for me to have something at the end of the day that was 'mine'. After being subsumed by another being that totally takes over absolutely every aspect of your life (I remember being convinced I would never again have the time to shave my legs or do my hair - note beautifully smooth, hair free legs, pantene worthy hair and some fake tan to boot....ha ha) it is so important to hang on to something that is 'yours' from your other life. At the amounts you are saying, and again, at this stage, I wouldn't worry too much. If you are still worried, or things have crept up a bit when ds is 1, then maybe think again. But truly, just chill a bit and try and enjoy any moments you can. {{{hugs}}}

Hey Hairybiker - how are you? You sound on good form, despite having to fight for the PC!

Hey Gracepaley - well done for being on the fennel tea - I, too, would be sanctimonious... What are your drinking habits generally btw - don't answer if you don't want to..I'm probably just being nosey!

Gerbra

hey hey hey - hey is what horse's eat - i'm getting very (even more) sloppy in my thread stylee

horses

(make note to preview - however ridiculous posts are...)

hay hay hay, gerbrajess!!!! it's good to be back. feeling pretty good actually, have been revisiting a book I bought a while ago called 'end the struggle and dance with life' It's really good and has been helping me get my head together. Wot about you hun, you doing okay?

I'm good - on my way to being a little pissed tonight but will be my first drink since sunday so don't feel as guilty as I usually would!

About to watch katie and peter . DPs out and I'm bored and they're SO funny (not in a good way either...)

Gerbra x

man, well done you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That is so fantastic. Completely my flippin' hero. Or should I say blinkin'. tHis is ds favourite saying of the moment.
'Mom, my pant are up my 'BLINKIN' bum again! So where do you think Nanny is? 'I think she's out-blinkin'-side'
etc. Makes me howl every time.

??? Like 'blinkin' though'...

Poor jordan is in pain with her teeth - she's just had a photo shoot and thinks she looks old - ahhhh! (my latent bitch is rising...)

Just what I need for thursday night trash viewing!!

How are you doing with the baby steps - do you find that's working for you? I guess that's what I've done this week...next week I'll push a day forward to I'll have done from Mon-Fri...you know it really wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be...

Gerbra x

Feeling a bit better tonight. The end is in sight of what has been a long and stressful week.

It's been really uplifting to read through the thread and see everyone supporting each other and doing so well.

This thread is a showcase of human kindness..

Jellibabe - how are you doing tonight?
Have things calmed down a bit at work? I think you've done incredibly well. Do you get the weekend off to recuperate as it were?

Gerbra x

Gerbra I'm ok. Work was intense today but I have survived!!

Not working this weekend and hoping to do something relaxing. Jumble sales and gardening perhaps.

How are you feeling?

A bit pissed to be honest, but unusually not with the truck load of guilt and shame that usually goes with week-night drinking!

Weekend sounds great - if you can totally switch off from work and relax you'll be all the fitter and brighter for Monday. I totally sympathise with stressful jobs - that was what spurred me to go back to college to go freelance! - as it turns out though, I think freelance is just as stressful!

If you've been through all the stresses of last week and haven't succombed to alcohol you really are a star - well done!

Gerbra x

Thank you

My problem is I get too wrapped up in my worries and stop enjoying life. Then I look for a quick fix (wine).

Recently been subject to acts of kindness from strangers. The man who helped me get my bag back from a bus I had left it on. Another person ensuring I got the right bus home. A lift back from nursery and being given directions. I felt so grateful for all this help. Determined to try and 'pass it on'. Even in a small way.

My faith in humanity is restored.

Well at least for tonight. No doubt it will be shredded again tomorrow.

Night x

hello, at work feeling hungover STILL!!

argh, need my bed!

I think I know what you mean!
I usually spend so much of my day wrapped up in my own thoughts / unhappiness - and then it's almost if I come to the surface, and find that people around me have a kind work / do a kind deed and I'm 'oh my god I've been missing all this'. (and this happens quite a lot)

...mind you there was a tosser who had a go at me for moving my bike at a crossing (whilst trying to get out of her way) - I had a little shout at her after she shouted at me (backing up my argument of course) and went away with a - it felt quite good.

I have a feeling this brief spell of sobriety has left me with a bit of a mood ?!

Anyway, very happy you're feeling better. My feeling is you only see kindness in others if you're feeling comfortable in your oown skin (IMO) - so that's all very positive...

At this point, I'm going to lift myself gently off the sofa and get to bed ... will feel absolutely awful tomorrow! (you have my full permission to gloat if you are booze-free tonight!).

Take care
Gerbra x

...but not before asking: Sillytilly - what work do you do that keeps you there this late???
Gerbra x