Hand hold while I wait for ambulance for daughter

[StopTheQtipWhenTheresResistance]

Currently waiting for an ambulance for my daughter. Been sent as category 3. She's not been right for a few days now, not eating, not drinking, just laying slumped on her bed. This morning she collapsed in the bathroom and went really pale.

She has a learning disability and complex mental health problems so she can't tell me what is wrong as she doesn't verbally communicate when she feels unwell.

She was in hospital a couple of weeks back due to an infection (see previous threads) so I hope it's nothing to do with that.

I'm so worried, I feel sick.

Is there a neighbour who can help you get her to hospital? Id help like a shot if you were my neighbour. We know exactly what it's like unfortunately, dsd lives with carers now. Cat 3 ambulances can be a very long wait.

Sending a hand hold here too 🤝 It sounds very much like it could be the constipation. I was badly constipated once and oh my God, I honestly thought I was going to die. I have never felt anything like it before or since. And if she can't communicate how she feels, if she's also feeling like that, I really feel for her, bless her. You've done the right thing and I hope it doesn't take long before she's feeling well again. Stay strong, we're all here 💐

That's sweet of you that you would do that 😊.

I just had a call from the ambulance service saying it can be up to an 8 hour wait. It's already been 3 hours so I think we will be ok waiting. Nothing has worsened since I last called.

I know what you mean about taking her up myself but it's really tricky because then she would get put in the main waiting area which is very crowded and she just wouldn't cope. I think she's probably best laid on her bed in the quiet and they said if anything gets worse then to call 999.

Thank you, this has really helped me. Did it put you off eating and drinking too?

🤞your dd will be all right. Thinking of you. x

Thank you ❤ Yes it did, I felt really full, which was confusing as I always had an appetite. And because I've never ever been constipated, I didn't even link the two. I just know I felt deathly and was panicking. I hope they get her sorted quickly at the hospital ❤❤❤

When my disabled DD has been this unwell it's not safe for her to walk down the stairs herself. Though she will be determined to try she can't communicate how she's feeling. So all I can do is call for an ambulance and they take her down in a wheelchair. If she's really bad can't keep food and fluids down then she can't keep her meds down.

Hope they get to you soon, OP, and that she gets seen quickly.

Did it put you off drinking as well? I've noticed when I give her fluids, she burps a lot and her stomach makes loads of weird noises. She's turning away from me when I try to give her fluids now so she really doesn't want it.

Was your constipation really severe where it was all backed up? Did you have to have an x-ray?

We all joke about constipation but actually it can be painful and make you feel awful. Keep up the syringe of fluids. I hope you don’t have to wait too much longer!

Going in by ambulance doesn’t mean you get into a different area unless you are assessed as needing it , it’s quite likely you could end up sat in the main area .

@Floralnomad she has always gone straight through to a room when via ambulance. I would need the help of the paramedics to get her out of the house also.

That’s a long wait. Hope it’s sooner rather than later. X

Try giving her something fizzy through a straw little sips not gulping. Gets rid of the gas in the stomach especially if she's not really been eating.

It sounds like you are doing the right thing, sounds like you need help getting her there. Hope you don’t have to wait too much longer.

Piss off.
She’s a worried mum who wants some support from other mums.
I hope the ambulance turns up soon and that your daughter is better later.
Pack a drink and some snacks for you too remember! You might have a wait and you need to take care of yourself too.

Handhold here too OP. Remember to pack things to keep YOU going for a long wait too. Anything you can eat (i always take cereal bars/ fruit, biscuits etc). A pillow if you need to sleep in a chair at the hospital etc. ignore all the posters who question any decision you are making. The rest of us are here to hold your hand.

@KimKardassion I thought you were telling me to piss off then 🫣 lol

When my constipation is bad it feels like there's literally no more room for anything, my stomach and abdomen feel stretched uncomfortably tight. Anything I try to eat or drink turns into reflux, feeling sick and a burning throat. There is pain and achey discomfort. I've felt really faint and dizzy before with it I think mostly from lack of food and water. It can make me listless too. My DD has situational mutism, but not learning difficulties, its really hard trying to convince the doctors something's wrong when my sobbing at home kid goes full on masking and non verbal with no reaction to painful things in the presence of anyone she doesn't know very well.

Have they suggested her taking something long term regularly if the constipation is ongoing? I did manage to find a version of macrogol my DD could tolerate and she's doing a lot better now with the constipation at least. If she can cope with it an x-ray will show them if its the problem or not and how backed up she is. I hope the ambulance is there soon and whatever is wrong can be sorted quickly so you're both home again soon.

Sending a hug along with the handhold. Nothing worse than watching a sick child with special needs, knowing that not only can they not tell you what’s wrong and that they may not fully understand any of your efforts to sooth and support them. Am hoping the ambulance arrives soon and that you both have the support you need in person.

This adds gas bubble pain to my constipation pain and make's me feel like Im going to vomit. When things are bad it feels like anything I eat or drink has no space to go anywhere and so any new food just sits in my stomach. I don't know if it really does, but it feels like it does.

Sounds awful OP. Any chance your DH might be back before the ambulance? Not sure if you'd both be able to get her to hosp together just going by experience an 8hr indication was in reality much more! They can also whip her through to the treatment area if needed, I've had that even for a walk in where medical advice had been for an ambulance (I didn't want to be sat alone for hours in an ambulance outside for hours hence not waiting)

Just to add the very good advice above to make sure your bag includes things for you! Easy to forget yourself when caring for someone

Her LD nurse just called me and said she is going to try and get in touch with the district nursing team to see if they can come out in the meantime.

Here's my hand and a hug for you both op. You are definitely doing the right thing by getting your daughter checked over.