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Original poster

ONLYJOKINGS THREAD

747 replies

TripleyTigger · 05/03/2008 20:49

Done!!

OP posts:
onlyjoking9329 · 29/03/2008 19:34

it was really hard to tell them, then when we went to see steve whist the kids were in the family room with one of the nurses i went to talk to steve about it, i told him that a had told the girls that he wasn't ever going to get better, steve looked puzzled and said, well i might get better soon i might be in re mission

onlyjoking9329 · 29/03/2008 19:37

yes times does help, i am getting more used to it in a way, but steve seems to forget a lot of the time. MB do your kids talk about it much?

Blandmum · 29/03/2008 19:41

Yes, dd more than ds but they both do. In fact they are both getting shockingly direct and honest about it, which I think is great but other people find a bit scary.

Yesterday dd commented, 'When there are just the three of us we are going to argue non stop about who gets the last of a packet of 4 biscuits'

Which I thought was hilarious, and showed real strength of character on her part, but freaked out some of the adults sitting with us.

She has also asked me if I intend to marry again, what will happen about holidays, ds asks about what will happen at Christmas and will it be just the three of us, dd asks about money issues.

All very robust and honest, which helps me really. We are a good 6 months of so 'ahead' of you I think and things are easier now

onlyjoking9329 · 29/03/2008 19:53

my 3 take direct to a whole new level i think they are processing at the moment. i can imagine being asked similar questions. Elliots already asked if he can have dads half of our bed seeing as he is going to be having a downstairs bed.
its the little things that get to me, we had a box of 5 cadburys easter nest cakes, me and the kids had one each and the fifth one sat in the middle of the table i was trying not to get upset then elliot said thats Dads cake but he is not here.

Blandmum · 29/03/2008 19:56

It is the little things that get to you.

I had to leave a pre christmas sales 'party' because someone said 'I don't know how many people I'll have for Christmas this year'

She didn't even say it to me, but I didn't know if dh would still be with us at that point, as he was so ill at the time, and I ran out crying. Foolish, but unavoidable

onlyjoking9329 · 29/03/2008 20:04

and i bet you also had lots of people asking if you were looking forward to christmas
i had the girls year 9 transistion review recently and the room was covered with flip charts with heading on them that we were all supposed to write on. i did ok until i got to the one that said "hopes and plans for the future"

tigermoth · 29/03/2008 20:05

I didn't want to leave this thread without posting a small message.

Triplets, I am so sorry you have this news to bear. I had no idea. I will be thinking of you and hoping very much that the chemo goes well in April.

OJ, you have so much going on, so many things - your love for steve is so strong. You are much in my thoughts.

Izabella · 29/03/2008 20:17

OJ, you have done so incredibly well telling the girls and Elliot about their Dad. if there is anyone who understands them them the most, apart form him, its yourself. You have given them the stability and security to face this uncertainty head on.

MB, I know what you mean about the 'normal' things of life catching you out. I took my DD to Costa today and we both treated ourselves (she had a baby chinno which her Dad would have been so proud of). I could help but notice the empty chair in front of us, whilst all around us there were families all of who had dads.

OJ, take care of yourself. I hope you are able to get a good nights sleep tonight. Good to hear that Steve was more settled today. Love to you all. xxx

Izabella · 29/03/2008 20:18

Triplets, you are in my thoughts & prayers also. xxx

trulymadlydeeply · 30/03/2008 07:41

Feel so terribly sad that you and MB are facing this - I was reading your childrens' reactions and found myself with tears in my eyes at how you are handling the out-of-the-blue questions and unthinking comments. I really hope I haven't accidentally beeninsensitive in front of someone in your situation.

Your children sound wonderful and heart-warming and strong.

Triplets - I was wondering about you on Friday, and searched for a post from you. So very sorry to hear your news and hope so much that you will get the best positive outcome. What a roller coaster for you.

Lots of love and strength to anyone facing this heart-stoppingly grim situation, and especially to OJ, MB and Triplets.

xxx

Tickle · 30/03/2008 07:45

Well said, TMD - ditto.

x

lilyloo · 30/03/2008 08:30

OJ sending you love and letting you know your in our thoughts, the kids sound like they are dealing with it in their own way.
Ditto Triplets and mb

cookiesandscream · 30/03/2008 11:37

Oj, you are doing a great job in painfully difficult curcumstances.
it must be heartbreaking to have to tell the kids.
i hope today brings you some sunshine.
Have you had any contact with steves family?

Triplets and MB sending my thoughts to you and your families too.

Hulababy · 30/03/2008 16:52

OJ, thinking of you all.

Triplets - so sorry to read your updated news.

ChutneyMary · 30/03/2008 16:56

I'm so sorry Triplets. Am thinking of you.

How are you today OJ?

MB, I don't think our paths have crossed but I have read about your brave DH and wish you both strength.

Izabella · 30/03/2008 20:51

Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you today. Hope you were able to have some quality time with Steve.xxx

onlyjoking9329 · 30/03/2008 22:16

Hello, it as been a good day
Steve wasn't in pain today which is great, he slept for most of our vist, the swelling on his head has gone down quite a bit which is good cos he couldn't get his glasses on over the swelling before.
the kids have enjoyed playing in the garden and i had to go on the trampoline too many times
we did some baking and made some bubble bath so the kids were busy and it was lovely to just do ordinary stuff for a change.

WingsofanAngel · 30/03/2008 22:18

Glad you have had a good day and the swelling has gone down for Steve.

VaginaShmergina · 30/03/2008 22:18

That sounds like a nice day for you today, I'm glad you did some bouncing !!!

Made bubble bath, do tell !

paddingtonbear1 · 30/03/2008 22:29

OJ still thinking of you, have just caught up with this thread - wondered how things were.

Also triplets - this is the cancer my mum had. In her case she had had it undetected for years, it had spread to the liver but had gone too far. While she was ill I read up on the internet, and there were several stories of people in similar positions who had gone into remission and were still there 5 years on - don't give up hope..

prettybird · 30/03/2008 22:38

Glad the swelling had gone down and that you had a wee bit jore "normal" day.

lucyellensmum · 30/03/2008 22:57

So glad OJ that steve had a pain free day today. xxx

lilyloo · 30/03/2008 23:02

OJ glad you had 'normal' day today !

triplets · 30/03/2008 23:04

Hi,
Dear Oj, I do not want to hijack your thread, just popped in to see how you are doing and felt shocked that there are messages for me, as I cant quite believe that we have joined "the club". It all seems so unreal, as Harry isnt ill, he is just the same, except we know inside things are different. We descided to tell the children yesterday and we told them it is cancer causing Dad problems. We wanted them to hear the word from us, so afraid in the next long months it will come out at school. They do not know about the secondaries as we feel at this stage there is no point and they would not understand. It was so hard, Rebecca instantly burst into tears and physically shook, that started James off followed by Tom Tom, me and Harry. We explained it as simply as could, it was one of the hardest things I have done, so very upsetting. Today they seem ok, have not said anything, but I have tried to reassure them and told them they must ask me or D addy anything they want to, we will explain. I was so unprepared for this to happen to us, so thought that after 14 years we were coming off our roller coaster, someone has decided not! Thank you all for your lovely words.

shabster · 30/03/2008 23:47

Trips - you are a lovley friend - people care about you. Stop worrying about hijacking threads - everyone is concerned for you. xxxxxxxxxx