((((OJ))))
Dunno what to say really, tears are brimming.... can't bear to watch you going through this and I hardly know you! So of course it's taking it's toll on you, you are watching the other half of you slipping away. How you feel is entirely valid.
I'm actually very glad that Elliot worked it out for himself, shows maturity, doesn't it? I think it will make it easier for him to bear, and, as you know, I think it's important for you all to have time to say goodbye and all the other important things that many people don't have the chance to do, becuase of a sudden death.
Yes, I understand the feeling of loss even before he's gone... my father was not in my life for most of it, so I lost out on actually having a father before he actually died (2 years ago past Tuesday) and then I lost him as well as any opportunity for reconcilliation, so loss on many different levels. It's not fair is it? Hang on to the fact that you all have the chance to give each other as much love as you want before it's too late.
Thinking of you, as always.
K