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Original poster

ONLYJOKINGS THREAD

747 replies

TripleyTigger · 05/03/2008 20:49

Done!!

OP posts:
3NAB · 16/03/2008 18:34

Thanks Tickle. Was a bit worried it was making light of a difficult situation.

QueenMeabhOfConnaught · 16/03/2008 18:35

OJ, I hope you and the children had some lovely cuddles with Steve today.

trulymadlydeeply · 16/03/2008 19:34

Thinking of you, OJ, and hoping that Steve has been well enough to hug you and the children today.

XXX

onlyjoking9329 · 16/03/2008 21:12

thanks for all your lovely messages. i will tell steve about the dinosaur tomorrow, i am sure it will make him smile.
icuddletrees (good name) they said steve was to be assessed and called it something begining with R? they are going down the continuing care route but there doesn,t appear to be anything fast about it, he has spent 4 weeks in the hospice altogether.
Steve not very good today he had a fall last night and banged the back of his head i had a job getting him to the loo and he wont use a bottle or commode the doctor had to help me get him back to his room.

BoysAreLikeBunnies · 16/03/2008 21:14

OJ

Izabella · 16/03/2008 21:51

I admire Steve for wanting to do things for himself even when he feels so rough. It does mean that sometimes it can make things more dangerous for you. This is why he NEEDS the 24 hour care. You just can't help Steve be safe at home if you are alone. I remember thinking when Mark was at that stage of loosing his balance but still being able to get up with help, that if he falls there would be no way I could support all 13 stone of him. You are doing everything you can though to honour Steve's wishes even if it means struggling to get him to the loo & back. Love to you, Steve and the children. xxx

imaginaryfriend · 16/03/2008 22:23

OJ, this is all so unbearably sad. Do you think Steve is resigned to what is happening to him? Or do you think his continuing need to exert his independence is in some way a denial of what's happening. I so admire his dignity though.

lucyellensmum · 16/03/2008 23:03

more hugs and rum sent through the ether xxx

ChutneyMary · 16/03/2008 23:16

Thinking of you OJ and sending you my best wishes for a good sleep and a peaceful Monday

ChutneyMary · 16/03/2008 23:16

Thinking of you OJ and sending you my best wishes for a good sleep and a peaceful Monday

ChutneyMary · 16/03/2008 23:16

Thinking of you OJ and sending you my best wishes for a good sleep and a peaceful Monday

onlyjoking9329 · 16/03/2008 23:43

when steve was in hospital afer his overdose the wieghed him and he was 10 stone 1 he has lost a lot more since then.
in some ways i feekl that je is resigned to dying. he just wants it all over with and very soon, but in other ways i am not so sure. it is complicated, steve often talks about me finding somone else then he talks about how he will be in remission soon, i listen to him but i cant reassure him that he will get remission as i don't want to take away his hope. but i really can't get into vhatting about me finding someone else, maybe that is a weakmess in me nut it is hard, he is the love of my life and after 18 years together i am not looking to replace him, how could i, he is my soul mate and our childrens father, he cannot ever be replaced, i guess he is just giving me permission, but i don't want it, i just want him.

BecauseImWoeufIt · 16/03/2008 23:47

Oh OJ

The loveliest thing about your posts (although obviously there is nothing lovely about your situation) is how much you and Steve love each other.

And even though he is dying, your love for each other will always live on.

But Steve is right - you may/will want someone else, eventually. And far better that you know he is giving you his permission.

Just wish you weren't having to go through this.

onlyjoking9329 · 17/03/2008 00:43

but how can I ever see what Steve wants when all I have ever wanted / known is his love ?

onlyjoking9329 · 17/03/2008 06:37

that didn't come out how I meant it too.
I always try to go with what steves wants but i can't really understand him thinking that I should find someone else, makes it feel like he is replaceable.

bossybritches · 17/03/2008 06:41

Morning OJ!

I know it's unthinkable at the moment OJ but it's just a thought to put away for waaaay in the future.

Your love for Steve & his for you is something special & will always be with you.

xx

onlyjoking9329 · 17/03/2008 06:52

morning Boss, you are up early. I have just been down to
check mouse traps make coffee.
I can put that thought away for the future I guess, my mate is 5 years down the line and she feels that she can't replace him and doesnt want to.

bossybritches · 17/03/2008 06:59

Of course not,the time may never be right and at the mo it's unthinkable.

MaryBS · 17/03/2008 07:13

He's saying it because he loves you and wants you to be happy. Thats why he wants you to find someone else. He isn't replaceable, we all know that, but its an act of his love for you to say this.

{Hugs}

3NAB · 17/03/2008 08:04

Oh Darling.

It is so clear how much you two love each other and it is said that people who have had happy marriages go on to make another marriage as they know how good it can be.

Just listen to what he wants to say as tbh it is more about what he wants to say than what you want to hear IYSWIM. That is not meant bossily btw

He loves you. You love him. Nothing will ever change that.

imaginaryfriend · 17/03/2008 09:42

You never will replace him OJ, he'll always be the love of your life. I think it shows how powerful his love is for you that he suggests you find a different kind of love in the future so you don't have to be alone.

prettybird · 17/03/2008 10:02

Glad you have managed to have a chat with Steve's brother. At least you know now that he knows how you feel. {{{{Hugs}}}}

bundle · 17/03/2008 10:20

oj, a friend of mine lost his wife in childbirth and literally didn't even think about relationships for 7 or so years afterwards.

he's had a couple of relationships now but it was all v much at his pace (even though his mum made well-meaning but completely unwanted comments re; him "needing" someone else)

i think you're right to concentrate on the here and now, xx

LilRedWG · 17/03/2008 11:41

OJ - I'm glad that Mike seems to be beginning to understand the real situation, maybe he will be able to talk to their mum, but even if he can't get through to her at least he's understanding you now.

Keep enjoying those cuddles and try not to think of the future too much.

Love.

xx

trulymadlydeeply · 17/03/2008 12:19

Oh, OJ. My heart bleeds for you all. What a lovely man your Steve sounds to be; how much you love one another and how lucky you are to have known such love.

So very sad that there aren't another 18 years for you to share with him, but he will live on in your heart and in your children. No comfort at this stage, I know ...

Sending you love as ever,

XXX