ONLYJOKINGS THREAD

[TripleyTigger]

Done!!

blimey OJ...hugs for you....as if things aren't difficult enough, his fecking family ...his place isn't living with his mother, its with you and your children.....you must be a very special person to get your mouth shut and consider her as much as you do...

Thinking of you all xx

keep I meant

sending love x

Oj you have always been a star in trying to include Steve's family in your plans & discussions as it is important to him & therefore you.

However in all my years of nursing I don't think I remember ever having a terminally ill pateient who's parent's wishes over-ruled that of his spouse/partner.

YOU are his next-of-kin.

YOU are his primary & only carer.

End of.

They should NOT be allowed to come into this meeting or have any say in his future care.They have a right to be kept up to date with events & plans(which you have always tried to do) but only AFTER the event as a matter of courtesy, which is more than they give you!

Tell the hospice I'll come round & guard the door while you're in there & threaten to bite the outlaws ankles if they interfere.My kids will tell you-not a pretty sight when I'm angry

Sorry end of speech!!!!

It should not have to be a battle for you OJ,you have battled long enough, what a very selfish family they are, because they certainly are not thinking of you and the kids, terribly terribly selfish.

You must have amazing patience to put up with Steve's family the way you do.
From the sounds of things everyone at the hospice knows what your mil is really like (totally selfish).

Wishing you and your kids lots of love xxx

Keep battling x

I know I am next of kin, I know that his mum won't be allowed to take Steve home and she doesnt get the final say in all of this, I would be prepared to share the care & decision makiing with his family but they seem to have a different agenda. Whilst they are telliing doc and mates that Steve would be best off with them none of them have mentioned it to me.
hopefully the meeting will be like the last one where his family jjust come in for the summming up and to be told what the plan is.
Boss I will keep you in mind for the bouncer job

Definitely keep them outside until the end if you can OJ! Fingers (and everything else) crossed for you. x

what a nightmare with Steve's family OJ , if only they could get past what they want to see what's the best for Steve as you have.
Agree with the others who have said you will have much more sway than them. As you say no point stressing over it and am sure the Mc nurse will help when you spk to her on Mon.

OJ,

How are you today hun? Good that the con & hospice recognise how much in denial Steve's mum and his family are. I'm just so sorry that you have this added upset as if things aren't hard enough right now. I hope Steve & you got to have some alone time today, its so important for both of you. xxx

A much brighter day today. i have been busy sorting out the garden and it is looking nice for when steve comes home
Steves mum has yet to let me know about the meeting
Steves brother aent me a text asking if we could talk, i told him i was on way to hospice and was happy to talk just not in front of the kids or steve.
when i got there steve was asleep so me and his brother went to get a drink and had a chat. Mike says that he didn't understand why steve needed the 24 hour carers until he met with the consultant he says he now understands things
Mike says he has noticed over the last week how much worse Steve has got and that he thought that he might improve in the hospice.
i told Mike that i was upset and hurt that none of the family have been in touch and that no one has even asked how the kids are.
i didn't mention to Mike the things that MIL has been doing or saying as i know he would get defensive.
i know mike will tell his Mum about our talk so i will wait to see if anything changes.
Steve is not able to hold a cup or co-ordinate feeding himself now and he got very cross at me trying to help him, everyday something seems to get harder for him, he is not able to balance or walk, it took two of us to get him to the loo as he won't use a commode.
we had a nice cuddle today, it is so hard to see him getting worse by the day

Oh Oj, cuddles mean so much more than words dont they? Do you think Steves brother simply cannot face it, did he really think that Steve could improve by being in the hospice? It always seems to me that we humans are so bad at pulling together when we should, it seems to come natural to the animal kingdom, why dont we see it? How are the kids Oj?

Evening O.j

Glad you got to have a lovely cuddle today .

I can understand Steve's frustration. It must be so heartbreaking for him to admit that he needs help to do even the simplest of things and heartbreaking for you watching him. Glad that you had that chat with his brother. Maybe this will bring on a much needed change of hear in your MIL. How is Elliot coping by the way with the uncertainty of when Steve will be coming back home? Thinking of you.

Hi oj. Whilst it must be heartbreaking to see Steve's deterioration, I do hope that Mike's growing awareness of the situation will mean that he gives you some of the support that you so badly need. And hopefully if he explains things to his mum she will come to accept it in a way she's never been able to from you.

I am hopeful that Mike is seeing things in a more realistic way now, dunno if he will be to get his mum to see things the same way but he will try, it will be better coming from him
. I don't have the emotional energy to deal with hassle from his family I am investing my time and love with Steve and the kids, at times that seems to much to do.
I miss having someone here to talk to I miss the support that we gained from each other.I already miss the future.
I miss the practicle stuff and I have discovered that lightbulbs don't last forever and that I am able to do DIY jobs. I am getting quite brave at catching mice too.
I am taking the kids in to see Steve later, Steve sleeps a lot but. When he is awake the kids like to lay on the bed with him.

wishing you special times for you as famiy today oj x

OJ have a lovley time with Steve today

Hope you have a good day

Wishing you a lovely day OJ. I am thinking of you xxx

I hope you have a lovely visit.

My 2 year old wants to be a dinosaur when he grows up. If you passed that on would it give him a smile?

Hope you and your kids have a lovely visit today oj, xxx

3nab I think that makes everyone smile

Hope you had a nice visit, and some good cuddles.

x

Hi,

I am new to this site and have just read this thread.

I am shocked at how long they have taken to make the funding decision - did they not use the fast track for continuing health care ?

I am an OT in a local authority so know any equipment (beds etc) will be provided by your local social services when Steve is at home so you dont need to worry about that.
If you want any tips about jumping OT waiting lists just let me know !!