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Original poster

I have chlamydia, has my partner been unfaithful? :-(

115 replies

Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 18:00

Name changed for this.

A routine swab for a coil has come back to show a light growth of chlamydia. I have no symptoms. It's of course no problem as I now have a prescription for antibiotics. However, I have been with my partner for over 20 years and I have had no other sexual partner since meeting him.

We are still incredibly close and our relationship has been great throughout. I know chlamydia can lay dormant for years - but 20+ years??? Partner has never had symptoms.

I'm not sure what to do with this results in terms of my relationship 😢

OP posts:
Mayhemmumma · 09/08/2023 18:06

Most likely

user556378 · 09/08/2023 18:06

Yeh probably

MiMiPies · 09/08/2023 18:07

Have you been having regular STI checks in those 20 years because even if it was dormant I think it'd still be picked up?

Helenloveslee4eva · 09/08/2023 18:07

Sorry one of you have had sex with an infected person 😢. You know you haven’t ..

Original poster
Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 18:13

No, I had a sti check up before meeting my partner which was negative, Ive not had any screening done since as I never had another partner and thought he hasn't either . This is gutting.

I've had a swab done for thrush many years ago during one of my pregnancies. It was only thrush that was picked up.

Oh goodness.

OP posts:
Howdoyouknowwhitney · 09/08/2023 18:14

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

gamerchick · 09/08/2023 18:16

Have you given the clinic his name they'll contact him directly. They won't say who told them because he'll need treating himself. Whether he tells you or not is another matter.

You'll need to talk to him, it might be too big to keep to yourself. Thankfully it sounds as if it's been caught before it caused damage.

Original poster
Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 18:17

It was done via the GP when my coil was put in. She sent me a text today with the result.

OP posts:
Jojobees · 09/08/2023 18:19

Get them to recheck before you accuse any one. I had the exact same and a re-swab was negative, without any treatment, they suspect a mix up in the lab.

GotMooMilk · 09/08/2023 18:21

There is no such thing as a ‘light case‘ of chlamydia- positive is a positive. It’s like being ‘a bit’ pregnant.
Realistically you won’t have had it 20 years without realising so it’s very likely he’s cheated. I’m a sexual health nurse and we see this a LOT. I’m sorry :(

Aquamarine1029 · 09/08/2023 18:21

I would get tested again, just to be absolutely certain a mistake wasn't made.

If the results are the same, I would kick him out. No discussion necessary.

Proudgypsy · 09/08/2023 18:27

Agree with re-stesting, if results are the same then yes he has cheated.

KleineDracheKokosnuss · 09/08/2023 18:30

If you only got tested before meeting him, is it possible he was already carrying it when you met?

YukoandHiro · 09/08/2023 18:32

Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 18:13

No, I had a sti check up before meeting my partner which was negative, Ive not had any screening done since as I never had another partner and thought he hasn't either . This is gutting.

I've had a swab done for thrush many years ago during one of my pregnancies. It was only thrush that was picked up.

Oh goodness.

They don't routinely test for chlamydia in pregnancy so a dormant infection wouldn't necessarily have been picked up then.
But it is still most likely that your partner has had sex with someone else.

LadyBirdsLoveEm · 09/08/2023 19:03

Was he tested for stis when you got together too? Or just you? Could he have had it 20+ years?!

I genuinely don't know. Just wondering.

Sorry op. This must feel like a lot to process.

Mumto32022 · 09/08/2023 19:11

Unfortunately yes I would think so. If you had chlamydia for over 20 years it would probably have caused some pretty obvious symptoms it can cause pelvic disease and would most likely have had symptoms / pain.

solice84 · 09/08/2023 19:52

Hmmmmm yes get re tested before making any decisions
Can anyone confirm if they test for it during pregnancy?

Notamum12345577 · 09/08/2023 19:54

Out of interest, how long can it stay dormant for?

ArcticBells · 09/08/2023 19:55

I'm sorry but chlamydia is an STD. You need to talk to your partner.

Wishitsnows · 09/08/2023 19:56

I’m sorry that must be a shock but he has been unfaithful

WetBandits · 09/08/2023 19:58

GotMooMilk · 09/08/2023 18:21

There is no such thing as a ‘light case‘ of chlamydia- positive is a positive. It’s like being ‘a bit’ pregnant.
Realistically you won’t have had it 20 years without realising so it’s very likely he’s cheated. I’m a sexual health nurse and we see this a LOT. I’m sorry :(

I’m also a sexual health nurse and would disagree with you. We get a lot of equivocal results and the odd false positive.

I’d ask for a retest, OP.

Dartmoorcheffy · 09/08/2023 19:59

A quick Google suggests it can indeed lay dormant for over 20 years so I wouldn't be too hasty.

BounceyB · 09/08/2023 20:02

For it to lie dormant for that long without symptoms would be unusual. I had it once, for a year without knowing. I felt worse than I realised. You would know.

I think get re-checked. Then be ready to follow through.

Original poster
Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 20:23

I've just spoken to him about it. He's really confused and is adamant he hasn't slept with anyone else. He definitely doesn't look like someone who has been caught out. He's a bit of a home bird and rarely goes out. When he does go out, I can see where he is on the phone tracker ( I'm a long distance runner so we added to our phones as a safety feature for me)

He's adamant that its a wrong result. We are very close, I'm racking my brains to think of a time he has had the opportunity.

I've never had an element of doubt beforehand, neither of us have symptoms. I'm finding it hard to believe as nothing adds up. However, the text from the GP is there.

He has recommended that we should both going to go and get tested together. There is an STI clinic near us that we'll get booked into.

OP posts:
WetBandits · 09/08/2023 20:40

Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 20:23

I've just spoken to him about it. He's really confused and is adamant he hasn't slept with anyone else. He definitely doesn't look like someone who has been caught out. He's a bit of a home bird and rarely goes out. When he does go out, I can see where he is on the phone tracker ( I'm a long distance runner so we added to our phones as a safety feature for me)

He's adamant that its a wrong result. We are very close, I'm racking my brains to think of a time he has had the opportunity.

I've never had an element of doubt beforehand, neither of us have symptoms. I'm finding it hard to believe as nothing adds up. However, the text from the GP is there.

He has recommended that we should both going to go and get tested together. There is an STI clinic near us that we'll get booked into.

Well that is quite a reassuring response OP!

Whenever this sort of thing comes up at work, if someone has tested positive for an infection after being unfaithful, the first thing they usually ask is how long it could have been ‘dormant’ for so they can work out a story to spin their partner. The fact that his first thought was that the result is wrong and that you should get retested together is a good sign that he has nothing to hide in that respect.

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