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Original poster

I have chlamydia, has my partner been unfaithful? :-(

115 replies

Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 18:00

Name changed for this.

A routine swab for a coil has come back to show a light growth of chlamydia. I have no symptoms. It's of course no problem as I now have a prescription for antibiotics. However, I have been with my partner for over 20 years and I have had no other sexual partner since meeting him.

We are still incredibly close and our relationship has been great throughout. I know chlamydia can lay dormant for years - but 20+ years??? Partner has never had symptoms.

I'm not sure what to do with this results in terms of my relationship 😢

OP posts:
Original poster
Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 22:26

Thanks @WetBandits. We aren't a shouty couple and have just had a calm conversation. Even though the result is there, even if he had an affair, I know he would own up to it.

I'll get us both tested.

OP posts:
purpleboy · 09/08/2023 23:44

Whatahassle123 · 09/08/2023 20:23

I've just spoken to him about it. He's really confused and is adamant he hasn't slept with anyone else. He definitely doesn't look like someone who has been caught out. He's a bit of a home bird and rarely goes out. When he does go out, I can see where he is on the phone tracker ( I'm a long distance runner so we added to our phones as a safety feature for me)

He's adamant that its a wrong result. We are very close, I'm racking my brains to think of a time he has had the opportunity.

I've never had an element of doubt beforehand, neither of us have symptoms. I'm finding it hard to believe as nothing adds up. However, the text from the GP is there.

He has recommended that we should both going to go and get tested together. There is an STI clinic near us that we'll get booked into.

You know him better than any of us. If you think he is genuine then see what the re test result as are, it's obviously possible it's been dormant, only you will have an idea if he is telling you the truth or not.

Deathbyfluffy · 09/08/2023 23:48

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Good lord, there’s no way you can possibly know that - thank goodness the OP is a little more trusting and less hasty

OnTheRunWithMannyMontana · 09/08/2023 23:49

I'm sorry but with the circumstances you have described there is only one way you have caught chlamydia. 💐

mibid · 09/08/2023 23:53

This must be so worrying for you.

Agree with retesting.

Plantyplantplants · 09/08/2023 23:59

WetBandits · 09/08/2023 20:40

Well that is quite a reassuring response OP!

Whenever this sort of thing comes up at work, if someone has tested positive for an infection after being unfaithful, the first thing they usually ask is how long it could have been ‘dormant’ for so they can work out a story to spin their partner. The fact that his first thought was that the result is wrong and that you should get retested together is a good sign that he has nothing to hide in that respect.

Show quote history

Yeah ex DH told me he could have caught genital warts from a door handle 😆 …it must have been a pretty skanky door handle because he had Chlamydia too.

Howdoyouknowwhitney · 10/08/2023 13:51

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WetBandits · 10/08/2023 16:16

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Can take up to six weeks post treatment for a chlamydia retest to be negative.

Original poster
Whatahassle123 · 10/08/2023 18:45

Just an update - I have queried the result with the GP and I WAS GIVEN THE WRONG TEXT!!! My result for full STI swab screen was negative........

Poor husband is ok but a bit shaken. He didn't sleep last night with stress. What a stressful 24 hours!

OP posts:
Mbop · 10/08/2023 18:48

I'd complain to the GP. That could ruin relationships!

Passe · 10/08/2023 18:49

Whatahassle123 · 10/08/2023 18:45

Just an update - I have queried the result with the GP and I WAS GIVEN THE WRONG TEXT!!! My result for full STI swab screen was negative........

Poor husband is ok but a bit shaken. He didn't sleep last night with stress. What a stressful 24 hours!

Bloody hell!
You could've been heading for the divorce courts Shock

VisionsOfSplendour · 10/08/2023 18:57

Wow, you definitely need to complain about that, is there some other poor woman out there who doesn't know she has it

Fizzadora · 10/08/2023 19:01

Well I am pleased that the result turned out to be wrong but how stressful for you both.
A cautionary tale now for anyone who believes a partner must have been unfaithful if they test positive for Chlamydia. Not so.

I tested positive and hadn't had sex with DH or anyone else (mutual agreement btw) since the night I conceived my DS over 20 years before. So it was either a wrong result or it really can lie dormant with no symptoms for many, many years.

Interesting conversation with DH with him offering to take a lie detector test and all sorts. I did manage to find some sketchy evidence on the internet that it can lie dormant so he did believe me.
We got past it as we have got past most things that have come up in the past 40 years.

3rdtimemumma · 10/08/2023 19:08

Oh my goodness. What an awful situation and interesting thread. Well done for keeping calm and trusting your husband throughout. It must have shocked him, like you said, but your response and his just shows what a strong and beautifully communicative couple you are. Especially with some of the comments on here being so accusatory. I would complain to the surgery, but honestly, have a night out with your lovely, trustworthy hubby.

C1N1C · 10/08/2023 19:09

Glad the red flag brigade didn't sway you today!

Atethehalloweenchocs · 10/08/2023 19:10

My aunt had several STIs while married to my uncle, who insisted they must have been dormant/false positives/picked up some other way. Turned out he was fucking around left and right. Sorry.

Fourlegsandatail · 10/08/2023 19:13

I’m so pleased to see your update OP

Olika · 10/08/2023 19:14

So pleased to see your update op 🤩

MollyRover · 10/08/2023 19:21

OMG OP. I'm so glad you're both negative, what a nightmare situation.

longwayoff · 10/08/2023 19:31

O good news OP, you poor things, shocking service from doctors though. NHS is falling apart along with every other public service.

LunaandLily · 10/08/2023 20:10

YukoandHiro · 09/08/2023 18:32

They don't routinely test for chlamydia in pregnancy so a dormant infection wouldn't necessarily have been picked up then.
But it is still most likely that your partner has had sex with someone else.

Show quote history

Oh they absolutely do routinely test for it in pregnancy. An untreated chlamydia
infection can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease. You don’t have it for 20 years and not know.

BusinessClass · 10/08/2023 20:17

Wow op what a relief!

YukoandHiro · 10/08/2023 20:18

Omg, you deserve a serious apology from the surgery. That could have been life changing.

YukoandHiro · 10/08/2023 20:21

@LunaandLily they don't - and it's a massive issue particularly for BAME women where as we know pregnancy outcomes are poor with higher rates of complication and maternal and foetal death. Campaigners want it introduced.

Billben · 10/08/2023 20:36

they don't - and it's a massive issue particularly for BAME women where as we know pregnancy outcomes are poor with higher rates of complication and maternal and foetal death. Campaigners want it introduced.

How odd. Just today at Uni we were told in a lecture that they now routinely test for chlamydia in pregnancy because of the damage it causes. 🤔