Problem/Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support III

[ornamentalhaggis]

Time for a new thread already!

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone who is having any trouble with their drinking, a safe place to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Thank you to all of those who have kept it going thus far, and welcome to anyone who has decided the time has come to ask for help.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

kokeshi

My mother is also an alcoholic and I have never been able to change her behaviour. Infact at one point the only way I could cope with my visits to her was to join her in drinking. I still visit now tho infrequently as I find it very painful. Ironic huh?

Teasle is right - your focus should be on you and your family. Hard as it may seem if her behaviour is damaging you may have to view her self distruction from a distance. Why not try to approach the problem as if you had an abusive xp. Delete all texts and emails and introduce call barring.

Have also read thread - how cruel.

hi morespamthanglam

I don't have any advice I'm afraid. My sil is an alcoholic, and I've been on the receiving end of some of her outburts, so i can empathise to a degree, but with her I know I don't need to see her or listen to her if I don't want to. It must be so much harder if it's your mum. Do you have siblings to help you share the load?

I can only suggest al-anon like everyone else, and as for something to say that will make her stop, well it really needs to be her decision. Is she aware of how vitriolic she can be, or does she forget it when she is sober? Would you consider videoing her and showing it back? I saw some footage of myself from a friend's wedding and I was horrified at how OTT I was under the influence.

I hope you can get some support.

a quick hello and confessions of the weekend. Got two grumpy sick Kids here today so time non existent! Well units over the weekend...
Friday 4.6
Saturday 8
Sunday 7.2
so weekly total is 19.8
that's the lowest for ages. Normally average 6-8 a day!
We had. Death in the family this week so some solace needed. But felt in control more this weekend. Did not fancy a drink before 9 on Friday. Will focus on dry weeknights and drinking just 2 nights. Drinking lower alc products too. At least then can hopefully reduce health risks. Then once that's conquered.. Will address other issues.
Hi to all will read more later when two snotty kids are not needing me so!

Just wanted to drop in quick and say thanks for the advice and support...and good luck to all of you that are addressing your problem. I think its a brave thing to do and I wish you all good things

piffle, sorry to hear about your news ; it can't make your decision to cut down any easier.

I started off aiming for one alcohol free night one week, then two the next, then three and so on.....unfortunately for me the cutting down wasn't an issue as slowly it crept back up again.

Keep positive, and keep posting

Am feeling a bit better now, had no desire for a drink tonight and infact only thought about it whne I remembered to check this thread, am surprised as would normally be fighting with myself from 4.30pm
Maybe I've mentally changed my weekday settings enough to break the habit.
Hope those of you fighting bigger issues alongside your drinking get some help. I am lucky enough not to have relationship/family problems. Everyday I am thankful for that.
Bless y'all

Good evening. Still sober. I must remember not to post sensitive stuff if I can't accept the fact that people might actually read it. The truth hurts don't it.

i'm having huge trouble wth everythig right now. even struglling seems stressfull. trying not to drink is stressfull too.

i can't keep holding on and staying sober like this. too much hard work, does my head in.

when things attack and get me down, i want to drink and the desire consumes me whole. it's habit and i can't help it. just feel so shit right now.
sorry

Hi folks been away, will catch up later. Just got up for a drink...should I specify it's a soft drink

What's going on PurpleOne? I was just thinking about you today - I haven't seen you posting recently. Good to see you again

Welcome to the thread guys.

I have had two nights without alcohol now and two very early nights to bed. I don't want to be sitting up on my own as I know that that is the time when I always drink. I also have the headache from Hell. I went to bed with it and woke up with it. Sleep was awful - I couldn't sleep and my mind kept racing. Is this par for the course?

Sounds like 'mild' withdrawals, I'm afraid. I'm sure OH posted a long list of withdrawal info somewhere- may have been on the last thread- it was quite useful.
The withdrawal phase does pass, just keep hanging in there!
My sleep pattern took a few months to settle down, but my drinking was horrendous. It can often take a while for your body to readjust.

Jellibabe- it IS sometimes difficto remember this is a public forum, but I suppose thats why we have nicknames. There are lots of things that I don't feel it would be appropriate to post on here, so if you want to, you could always CAT one of us if you felt you needed to discuss issues less publicly?
Just a thought.

You are doing really well you know. x

Big hello to everyone else- good to see you back OH.

habitual. Last week I had two days of grim headaches too. Try to drink water as it can be aggravated by dehydration. I'm one day down and looking forward to coping til the weekend with nothing at all. I wonder if the headache returns this week.

Hi Guys, I'm adding this for another poster who identifies with a lot of it. As you probably know, in AA it is suggested that we go to meetings regularly, get a sponsor and do the 12 step programme. This is a parody of those 12 steps, which I identify a lot of myself in when I first went to AA. It's meant to be humourous.

The 12 Steps We Arrived With / 12 Steps to Insanity
----------

1. We admitted we were powerless over nothing - that we could manage our lives perfectly and those of anyone who would allow us.

1. We came to believe that there was no power greater than ourselves and the rest of the world was insane.

1. We made a decision to have our loved ones turn their wills and their lives over to our care even though they couldn't understand us at all.

1. We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of everyone we knew.

1. We admitted to the whole world the exact nature of everyone else's wrongs.

1. We were entirely ready to make others give us the respect we deserved.

1. We demanded others do our will because we were always enlightened.

1. We made a list of all persons who had harmed us and became willing to go to any lengths to get even with them all.

1. We got direct revenge on such people wherever possible, except when to do so would cost us our lives or at the very least a jail sentence.

10. Continued to take inventory of others and when they were wrong promptly and repeatedly told them about it.

11. Sought through complaining and medication to improve our relations with others, as we would not understand them at all, asking only that they do things our way.

12. Having had a complete physical, emotional and spiritual breakdown as a result of these steps, we tried to blame others and to get sympathy and pity in all our affairs.

Here's my previous post about withdrawals, it's easier to copy and paste it

"By ornamentalhaggis on Thu 07-Feb-08 13:19:00

Helps to know that it's temporary, the withdrawals I mean. Here's something quite comprehensive about it, if you experience any of the severe ones, call your doctor right away, but don't worry too much if you've been OK thus far.

Alcohol withdrawal refers to a group of symptoms that may occur from suddenly stopping the use of alcohol after chronic or prolonged ingestion.

Not everyone who stops drinking experiences withdrawal symptoms, but most people who have been drinking for a long period of time, or drinking frequently, or drink heavily when they do drink, will experience some form of withdrawal symptoms if they stop drinking suddenly.

There is no way to predict how any individual will respond to quitting. If you plan to stop drinking and you have been drinking for years, or if you drink heavily when you do drink, or even if you drink moderately but frequently, you should consult a medical professional before going "cold turkey."

Withdrawal Symptoms:

Mild to moderate psychological symptoms:

• Feeling of jumpiness or nervousness
• Feeling of shakiness
• Anxiety
• Irritability or easily excited
• Emotional volatility, rapid emotional changes
• Depression
• Fatigue
• Difficulty with thinking clearly
• Bad dreams

Mild to moderate physical symptoms:

• Headache - general, pulsating
• Sweating, especially the palms of the hands or the face
• Nausea
• Vomiting
• Loss of appetite
• Insomnia, sleeping difficulty
• Paleness
• Rapid heart rate (palpitations)
• Eyes, pupils different size (enlarged, dilated pupils)
• Skin, clammy
• Abnormal movements
• Tremor of the hands
• Involuntary, abnormal movements of the eyelids

Severe symptoms:

• A state of confusion and hallucinations (visual) -- known as delirium tremens
• Agitation
• Fever
• Convulsions
• "Black outs" -- when the person forgets what happened during the drinking episode"

Thank you so much for posting those tips and withdrawal symptoms.. Well it is night 3 and so far so good and yes, still have the headache but I shall drink more water from now on.

I've had a nip of baileys tonight but its outside what I perceive as my harmful drinking pattern. I had an eye twitch as well as the headache. Thx for posting that Haggis . Well done habitual. You ok?

Thanks for asking Piffle. To be honest, I am really struggling tonight but I know I have to do this. I was drinking far too much and it was getting to the stage where I was starting to drink 4 doubles a night. And I was drinking before driving the next day and my brain was getting more and more foggy and I was forgetting things and having time off work was looking more and more appealing...

brave and honest habitual. Good luck. I look forward to the day when I don't spend much of it fighting with the desire to drink booze. I gave up smoking eight years ago. I was a similar smoker to drinker really. Habit not addiction per se. Stick with it and I'm going to try very hard too

Thanks Teasle . Not sure what CAT is but is sounds like fun.

I enjoyed Ornamental's slant on the 12 steps. Pretty confident I have achieved some of those aims.

Had another alcohol free day today. Still feel motivated but having the odd craving. Life feels more stable without alcohol and I hope I can keep this going.

I did not give in last night so am pleased with myself there. But this morning, even though my headache has reduced a bit, I am incredibly weepy.

I am going out Saturday to a party and I know I will be drinking. I wish really that the party was 4 weeks away to give my body time to really adjust.

I don't want alcohol out of my life forever, I just want to be in control of it and not it of me. Does that make sense?

oh fio, that must have been awful foryour DD, and for yo. How is she? Do they know what caused it.

I've often thought about what would happen if there was an emergency like that, especially with my DH away all the time. Sobering thoughts indeed.

and you didn't sound trite at all

habitual, I hope you can cope OK with Saturday. Perhaps try alternating an alcoholic drink with a soft drink or having two soft drinks for every alcoholic one?

piffle, I used to be a habitual smoker as well, and feel that I've replaced one habit with another. But, I kicked the cigs so I'm sure I can kick this too.

I caved and had a couple of GnT last night. but that was it, and they were quite light on the gin. I could happily have had a third one, but stopped myself. If that had been red wine I would've had to keep going.

I've been feeling a bit crap over the last week or so, and have something asty going on with my inner ears which is affecting my balance. It could be a post viral thing, or it could be Meniere's disease. We are watching and waiting to see if it gets better on it's own. If it doesn't then I'll need to have tests.

Oh, and in the last week I've lost five pounds in weight; so another good incentive to keep up the sobriety.

Will check in again soon.

Take Care all and keep strong