hospital vist is today, we need to decide on the chemo.

[onlyjoking9329]

Steve is due to re start chemo today.
He is so forgetful and confused he is not able to have a meaningful conversation about anything. the chemo doesn't appear to be helping him, last month he had 3 good days, this month he hasn't had any good days, that could be down to the chemo or it could be down to progression of tumour.
he asks me on a daily basis if i can end it all for him and i hate that he feels like this, i am sort of hoping that the consultant makes a desion to stop the chemo to save us having to.
before steve was confused he said that he understood that chemo would buy time but that he didn't want to buy crap time.
i hate that steve has to go throu all this it is like torture how he is feeling at the moment and there is no light at the end of the tunnel either.

OJ
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx to you.

I hope the hospice works out well for you all - if it gives you a break it will help you cope better - and Steve will be safe with people who know what they are doing.

Hopefully they can stablise things so that you can get some quality time back.

you are right we do need a break Steve. Is still convinced I am a kidnapper and not his wife. He is also convinced we live on a boat and had me up from 3am on lock duty. I just want him to find some peace.

I'm sorry to hear how quickly things are going downhill OJ. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Steve and the children. x

Morning OJ, if you lived on a boat you could have regular r+c stops at all those lovely pubs on the way.

Any news ?

still waiting for a phonecall. Steves sister does live on a boat Steve has always said he could never live on one.

Am glad you have taken that decision OJ. Like i said they are as nice places as they can be and the staff are wonderful. My baby sis turned 16 when my mum was in there and they put a party on for her and it was such a help so am sure they will do their best to involve all of you.
So sorry that Steve seems to be turning into a stranger it is so terribly hard. My thoughts are with you and hope you get the call about a bed soon.

You're on my mind OJ and in my thoughts and prayers. Take care XXXXXXX

Dearest Oj..........you are never far away in my daily thoughts, sending you a hug and a prayer xxx

Hope all is peaceful Oj, night night xx

Hello Oj, just popping in to see how you are doing xxx

Dear Oj I have just sat here reading your posts, and I really bloody wish I could do more than send you lots of love. You are a brave and loving wife and mother, and truly an inspiration to people to moan about nothing, and think they have it tough.
You are in my prayers tonight xx