Cancer Support Thread 85 - Hoping for a positive 2023

[AGreatUsername]

Starting a new thread as the old one is almost full.

Welcome one and all, this is a thread for those with cancer and those who are awaiting tests for cancer. We offer support, a place to rant/vent/cry and ask questions without judgement. As always maybe we can do a quick who’s who at the start of this thread for newbies.

Heres hoping for a positive 2023 for us all.

@Novemberhater you can have huge hugs any time you like, there's an infinite supply. X
Here's a few more.

@Novemberhater - don't feel you have to minimise it. It's a huge thing regardless of what others are going through. And I do think the appearance thing matters. Before cancer, I would have said that I was much less concerned about my appearance than most women, but the hair loss and rubbish skin has been tough. I hate what looks back at me from zoom some days. So something that affects your face like that must be really difficult.

@TopOfTheCliff - How was the allotment? I spent 30 mins in the garden earlier. First time I've been out there for weeks if not months. I felt quite overwhelmed by it, and also fed up at how much pain I was in. One arm hurts from surgery, the other arm hurts from chemo. Will I ever be able to do something simple like prune back a shrub without thinking about cancer...

I also made myself go out for a walk around the park. I listened to Joan and Jerika they are so bloody filthy I could not stop laughing to myself.

i have a question Ive had two sessions now and my groin is throbbing. Is that the chemo doing something? Paracetamols do work. I just had this awful feeling the chemo was making it grow😮

macmillan are giving me a grant for travel which is such a relief as its £14 each way and I can now let friends take me one way and Uber back.

Third one on Friday then I miss a week so its like two weeks off. Does that sound about right?

Ah @dotty2 I was so worried what I would find up there. It was better than I expected in that my nice neighbour has kept the paths strimmed for me, and there was just a lot of grass growing in the beds. The poly tunnels and tent over my brassicas had completely blown over and the water collecting system had blown over too but the butts are full. I will ask some of my gardening friends if they can share an hour to help me and try to get some broad beans in and weed the beds. The garlic is growing nicely.
Funnily it is my two year old wound that hurts more than the recent one. I still get nerve pain and soreness that side whereas the recent op seems to be settling quickly. I still have to rest it for a week though so no gardening yet.

@EachandEveryone the throbbing will be your immune system working hard to clear away the dead cells. I found the chemo made my tumour sites ache and I got a complete response last time. Fingers crossed for this time too. Ten days till results day.

@Novemberhater please don’t apologise. What you’re facing is traumatic. Please rest assured though that you won’t scare your children. Children are incredibly resilient and you’re their mum! My kids surprised me with how unphased they were at having a wreck for a mum and they have been very protective over my baldness etc. It’s natural to feel how you do, it’s not moaning, this is a space for all of us to be honest.

I am a month in on Anastrozole now, the last week has been unpleasant to say the least. Everything hurts. All the time. Some nights the back ache has kept me awake. They say it may fade after a few months, I hope so.

Popping in briefly to say that my DH50 died of glioblastoma multiforme 4 10 days ago. Almost 9 months to the day when he said “Does the left corner of my mouth look a bit droopy?” There are no words to how cruel brain cancer is. After 1 month in the hospital and almost 3 months in the hospice. Hell. On. Earth.

I had my 6-monthly check up with the breast surgeon last week, he has ordered me a reassurance CT scan. I told him the stakes are so much higher now that I am a single parent.

For everyone who is not aware of my situation: BC (ER/PR+, HER2 -) diagnosed in December 2016. Lumpectomy. Genetic testing showed I am BRCA2 +, had bilateral mastectomy with DIEP reconstruction, had both ovaries removed, all preventative. Still had recurrence in June 2020, followed by chemo for 16 weeks and then surgery. Followed by extreme health anxiety ever since. So you can all imagine my DH dying and me staying alive. The stakes are enormous.

Love to everyone, I am still lurking around.

I forgot to say the stakes are high because DH and I have a 10-year old son. I cannot afford to make him an orphan.

Balkan Sending lots of love and hugs to you and your DS. I'm so sorry to hear about your DH. How is your DS? Thinking of you all.

@balkanscot sending you & your Boy so much love. I’m hoping you are being supported whilst you look after your son and you right now xx

@balkanscot you have been in my thoughts. It seems cruel that bad luck is distributed to those who deserve it least. Look after yourself and remember this backwater of MN always has a warm corner-seat for you at the Patience Inn.
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@balkanscot sending every good wish to you and your ds.

@balkanscot sending you lots of hugs.

@balkanscot I have been thinking of you and keeping an eye on the Storm thread. I am so very sorry for your loss.

@balkanscot sending you and your son much love at this most difficult time. X

Thank you for the mouth yuck tricks.

@balkanscot I'm so sorry for your loss and am sending you and your son my love Xxx

@balkanscot so sorry to hear your news.
I can relate in part and am here alongside you.

So so sorry @balkanscot. I posted as SnowsInWater in 2019-2021 when I was going through treatment and remember you. Life just sucks sometimes , doesn’t it 😐

@balkanscot I'm so sorry to hear that. Life is so cruel sometimes - thinking of you and your son.

@AGreatUsername - Sorry to hear about the anastrozole. I've heard it can improve after a few months - but also that there is a very high rate of people simply giving up as the SEs are so hard. I am very anxious about hormone treatment atm - now I'm getting towards the end of chemo, I'm starting to look ahead to what comes next. I'm premenopausal but have been recommended ovarian suppression and AIs due to high risk factors. I hope you start seeing some improvement soon. Does anything help the pain?

@TopOfTheCliff . That sounds encouraging about your allotment. The problem with my garden is mainly that I didn't do anything in autumn, so it's full of dead perennials and fallen leaves etc. I read on the Macmillan website that you shouldn't rake leaves during chemo because of the fungal risk. (Not seen that advice anywhere else, so who knows how much it matters) I seem to have lost a few things to frost as well as it was much colder than normal here in December. I think I might have to try to find a gardener.

@AGreatUsername I started with anastrozole in 2021. After six months I asked for help with the joint pain. After a month off which showed an improvement I switched to exemestane. That was definitely easier to take. I’ve had a break during treatment for cancer no 2 but I will have to restart soon. It’s still worth it when you look at the benefit on reducing recurrence.

@balkanscot so sorry you're going through this absolute hell. All so unfair. Let us know about your scan.

I don't know if I'm allowed to post this, but I've just listened to the most moving and helpful podcast featuring a dad whose wife died from bowel cancer. He covers everything from diagnosis, palliative care, becoming a widowed dad to finding love again. There's so much help and advice for new widows. It's on Spotify and called Widowed AF episode 5. It's very graphic, but most of us on this thread, sadly, are used to this.

Can I join? I’ve been lurking for a while trying to get the courage to post!

I was diagnosed with Papillary thyroid cancer on 22nd December. I’d earlier had a partial thyroidectomy for diagnostic purposes; I had the rest of the thyroid taken out about 10 days ago. I have to wait for the pathology results (which I’m told could be up to about 8 weeks as the department is hugely backed up at the moment), but I’ve already been told that I will need radio iodine ablation.

Ive been ok with it all, but today it’s just got to me. I’m tired. I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of hearing myself complaining of being tired. I’m tired of being brave for other people.

In the great scheme of things, I know I’m lucky. In my consultants words “this is very treatable, it’s just a bit unpleasant.” I know I will be ok, I just don’t want to be here, dealing with this. I want to have a toddler style tantrum, sit on the floor and shout out “it’s just not fair!”

Im sorry for ranting. It’s just all got to me today.

Welcome @Freakingflies and of course you can have a tantrum. In fact I’m sure you would find plenty of us ready to join you. I hear the latest thing is a “Rage room” which sounds ideal. Sod being brave! Get angry instead.
Will the ablation be after the pathology is back? So you have some time to recover first?
All quiet here. We like it that way