Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Even better! Have a good rest and keep signing in.

will do koi ,you try and get some sleep too

Does alcohol have any relationship with newly erupting boils?

Doc says I have a boil coming up and was due to the high sugar content in my diet?
Thought they came on with stress?

Sleep well everyone, I'm off to bed x

HI everyone. Koi- why the name change? Reminds me of Poi from Ceebeebies. Quite unnerved me.

Purpleone- where is your boil then? I thought a boil was caused by an infected hair follicle. Is your doc from the 1950s or something?(too much sugar in your diet sounds like something me old mam would say) I hope its not too painful anyway. Try not to mess around with it until its ready to pop mind...

I had a boli on my bottem when i was a little girl ,very painful poor purpleone ,not sure of the too much sugar in your diet as a cause though ,sounds a bit iffy to me . However as an afficiardo of pus ,i will be ahppy to lance it for you when its ready ,i love pus.

sorry that should read boil ,a boli is probably something completely different in another language ,suggestions anyone?

blee, popping boils. I suspect it's your liver finally able to get rid of all the toxins now that it's not having to concentrate on processing the drink every day? It's a good thing belive me, and will settle down. I got lots of spots when I stopped drinking too.

teasle, there was a thread the other day about putting your name on a diet and I cam up with this. It's a Japanese fish, so still staying with that theme. You not like it?

Boli...isn't that some kind of indian dancing?

did anyone elses appetite increase massively when they stopped drinking? or am just greedy

The sugar-boil connection is true purpleone, my dh gets hideous ones on his bum if he overloads on sugar. He's a bit of a grazer and tends towards lots of biscuits, cakes, chocolate etc, skinny as a bloody bleedin' beanpole though wouldn't ya just know it! No improvement in my alcohol consumption but want to make myself keep posting on here and facing myself - just over half a bottle of gin last night.

Cubby- if you are trying not to drink tonight, if you have a time in the evening you find particularly difficult regards wanting a drink, why not let us know? Then someone could be around to 'chat' to you. Just a thought. However you didn't mention it, so you will probably be drinking?

I'm on a bit of a healthy eating thing at the moment. DP looked at me like a dog who has been caught doing wrong the other night when I served him up a lentil dish, but I don't think he dare complain. Just sat and looked unhappy throughout the meal. I made a nice pudding though so he gorged himself on that.

Thing is, I used to REALLY look after myself before alcohol took over my life. My friend said the other day that I am returning to how I used to be when she first knew me, which was nice to hear, and it made me realise how much I've changed in some ways, through my alcoholism.

JWFMT, you naughty girl wanting to pop my boil LMAO, it's in my lady garden!!! but feckin' ouch. It bloody well hurts!
Got a massive dose of antibiotics for it.

And my appetite is always greedy, sober or not. Cheese is my downfall no matter time of day or night. And crisps, and biscuits, and chocolate, and bacon butties.......

Hope everyone is well. Had a bit of a stressfull day here, feeling quite down. But have stayed off the pc (and assocaition, but not the fags) and have stayed sober again.
Been watching tv tonight and had a great LOL at the prog on five life about single mums. (as if it was that easy) a celeb being dumped with a kid for a week...then back off their hearty lifestyle at the end....
I'm here if anyone fancies a gas?

drank a bottle of wine last night dont know why i bought it /drank it but i feel like crap this morning ,suprise suprise . Im really mad at myself ,but as a consolation as i feel totally pants ,its reminded me why i was giving up the demon drink in the first place. I feel like im back at square one again. However feeling sorry for myself isnt going to do any good so today I will NOT drink .
Purpleone i have decided to withdraw my very kind i thought offer to lance your boil as i had no idea it was in such a sensitive place ( love the euphamism by the way)

Sympathies jwfmt - me too, check out my alcohol consumption below!

Teasle, what a lovely, kind thought. And yes there is a time, right after ds is in bed, usually around 8. Times when I have been successful before I have popped open a can of alcohol free lager then (I know it isn't strictly alcohol free - but i drank it when pg and i craved a grown up flavoured drink not just sweet juices and soft drinks. We worked out that i would have to drink 24 cans to equal the units in 1 can of normal beer). And it was really weird, coz once I was over that 'hump' (and I can't guzzle fizzy beer too quickly) I was okay. I'll have to try that again tonight. Did awfully last night, 1/3 bottle of gin and 1/2 bottle of 13% white wine - hangover city this morning. Felt like crap. I too am a bit of a health nut except for poisoning myself with 'all de alcyhol' am vegetarian, and try to eat fairly strictly healthily during the week so I can be a bit more relaxed at weekends. Do a couple of circuit training classes a week and swim 1/2 a mile a couple of times too. But am still about 2 or 3 stones overweight, coz I'm the same as Purpleone, drink has never stopped me eating, makes me eat more...crisps, although I do tend to only buy the baked ones, which I then ruin with salted nuts - cashews by choice...yum, cheese, love it, love it love it, and it goes so nicely with a lovely red sorry! Olives, love em can't get enough of em, hummus, pretzels, and if I'm on a whiskey jag, then I like chocolate. Has anyone else tried the dark chocolate, orange and almond bars from Aldi? To die for, heaven!

Sorry got sidetracked there!!! Thanks for being there guys, hang in all. Will post tonight. {hugs}

olives mmmmmmmmmmmmm love them ,especially stuffed with anchovies ,yummy scrummy in my tummy . Cubby are you going to join me in a no alcohol tonight deal? i can be online at 8 too . Have to say i am really impressed with your level of exercise ,all i do is walk the dog slowly ,must start running again ,i really liked my knees when i was running ,i lost the fat round them !

HI will try to pop in too around 8ish. Anyone else?!

brilliant teasle ,the more the merrier ,in a happy not tipsy sense

This is really weird. I posted a long message last night and it doesn't seem to be here. Bizarre...

Anyhoo, I was saying to cubby welcome back to the thread! YOu can never fail as long as you keep facing up to your situation and being totally honest about it. Each time you admit something, you make a wee bit of progress and that's part of the whole journey of recovery. I don't think many people get it the very first time. I've learned to use all my relapses are learning experiences and armed with that self-knowledge I am less able to kid myself on anymore that controlled or social drinking will ever be possible for me. That denial aspect is a huge thing to overcome though, and it will take many more alcoholics to their grave before they'd consider trying to change. Very sad, I've seen so many people die prematurely through their drinking so I'm under no illusion that drink problems, even on their own, can be fatal

One thing I have also realised is that it's relatively easy to stop drinking for a certain period of time, but the challenge lies in maintaining it and growing in sobriety. This has meant that I have to find new coping strategies to employ when I go through something traumatic. The easiest thing to do it just reach for that instant fix, but all the problem will still be there in the morning, worse, and I feel like shite as well. I think the feelings of shame, guilt and remorse are much worse than the physical hangover.

What do others experience on relapse? What do you find works getting you out of that pit? Do you need to get to the depths of despair, when it hurts too much, or are some of you quite good getting back on track with new resolve? Any other strategies that people find helpful for maintaining sobriety? It's good to swap notes, I'm sure we can learn loads from each other.

oh this is kokeshi by the way...

Hi Koi- I definately think the maintenance and growth aspects of sobriety are really important. It has taken me a number of relapses too, to understand excatly what I have to do in order to maintain my sobriety- and I don't even realise half of it, not yet, but I have also realised that it is a very gradual process of change and evaluation, re-evaluation etc, and that if I put in the work, i get the rewards. Does this make sense to you?

Isn't Koi a type of carp too- further disturbing image...

Makes total sense teasle, and sometimes having 'lightbulb' moments at things which were blindlingly obvious to everyone else except me! I had too big an ego and tried to figure it all out myself.

Thanfullly, I'm still getting those valuable insights, so I know that I'll always be learning and that's quite exciting to me as well. I wrote down a fab quote the other day from the Tao Te Ching, chapter 71-

"TO REALISE THAT OUR KNOWLEDGE IS IGNORANCE
THIS IS A NOBLE INSIGHT,
TO REGARD OUR IGNORANCE AS KNOWLEDGE,
THIS IS MENTAL SICKNESS.
ONLY WHEN WE ARE SICK OF SICKNESS, SHALL WE CEASE TO BE SICK"

Here's another that I've found to be true as well, despite putting a lot of time and energy into trying to disprove it!:

"THE ALCOHOLIC; WITH HARDLY AN EXCEPTION, WILL BE UNABLE TO STOP DRINKING ON THE BASIS OF SELF-KNOWLEGDGE" - BIG BOOK

You are right indeed, I am the personification of a Japanese ornamental carp!

Yes, I've had a few lightbulb moments recently, some where I've nearly even slapped my forehaed and shouted 'durr!'
Good quotes K. Are you abpout tonight too at some point?

What about BM- havn't seen you on the thread for a while..

Durr is an often used term in my vocab! It's my AA home group meeting tonight, so I won't be here until about 10.30. I'll check in though.

When do you come to the point where you realise giving up the drink completely is the only way forward?

I have hardly drank for the last year but just before christmas I started drinking quite excessively again. I seem fine in the week but its old habits at the weekend creeping back again. Any excuse to drink and any excuse to pop out to the shops for anything which will end up with wine in the basket. I have started to panic I have major health issues with my liver and today i have convinced myself I have a pancreas problem aswell. I know some of this is to do with the fact I have mild depression but I am honestly scared I have done serious damage to my body.

I just dont know where to go from here or how to give up completely

hungry donkey ( cool name by the way) ,try ro remember that the liver has a fantastic capacity to recover , the average person has to hammer it to experience real irreversible damage. If you stop drinking and can maintain it for a good length of time ( like three months ) your liver should be able to recover. If you are really scared the only thing to do other than stop drinking is see your Gp and get a liver function test ,this will tell you how your liver is , alot of people who consume alot of alcohol develop a fatty liver ,this is the begginning of liver damage ,but is reversible if you give up drinking and eat a sensible diet . I know ive had a relaspe but i think the best way to do it is take each day at a time ,say tonight im not going to drink ,join us on here later instead of having a glass of wine

Hi hungrydonkey, welcome to the thread. Are your liver problems drink related or is it a separate health issue?

Two things made me confront my drink problem. Firstly, I had so many drink related illnesses one after the other that I was told I was not long for this earth if I kept it up. I had everything: jaundice, enlarged liver, and one of the final - and worst consequences was acute pancreatitis. I cannot begin to explain how utterly agonising that is, but some people ave said it's worse than childbirth. Basically my pancreatic enzymes were digesting my spinal cord, and I could feel it. This, if I hadn't stopped drinking would have led to chronic pancreatitis.

The second part was were it took me emotionally. I was in the depths of despair most of the time, and even when I drank to escape, it just made me feel worse. When I realised drinking wasn't working anymore, I actually felt pretty suidical. I felt like I couldn't imagine life without drink, but I couldn't carry on either. So I was backed into a corner.

I think you have to ask yourself if it's time to think about dealing with it. It's pretty much the general consensus among medics who work in this field that it's not particularly that quantity or frequency of your drinking, rather if it starts to affect other areas of your life: mental and physical health, work, relationships, mood, motivation etc.

It's great that you've already had a year of hardly drinking, but most people who have had issues with drinking in the past, tend not to be able to go back to social or controlled drinking, and see it progress again to previous levels. It's great that you're thinking about it though. Please keep posting.