Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Off to bed now anyway.

Night Kokeshi xx

HI everyone- I'm not even on MSN, I don't even get what Facebook is about, really.[bewildered, wrinkly emoticon].
My dp is a smoker, and sporadically makes attempts to stop, but doesn't manage to. I do worry because he has smoked for years.

BM, have you read Allan Carr? He's good at getting people into the right frame of mind for stopping smoking. I think of him when I want a fag and remind myself that if I start smoking again, I will spend ALL my time craving cigarettes and having to feed that craving.

I haven't bought fags for nearly 4.5 years, but I've smoked a few every now and again.

My strange drinking is definitely to do with being bloody miserable. I've been trying to use booze as a stick to beat myself with. I've been given anti ds and I hope they work!

It's not that hard not smoking, BM. I rarely regret stopping! I smoked like a bloody chimney too.

Umm, my attempt at quitting caffeine/nicotine didn't last long. I'll try again on Monday

Hi HB. I've got the Allan Carr Only Way book here. I read it about 5 years ago and it did make sense at the time, but I had PND and I don't think I really wanted to stop. We were skint and that was my motive, but I obviously found a way around it. I might dig the book out again and speed read it over the weekend whilst puffing away on the balcony. I agree with him regarding the use of NRT - it does seem a bit loony to feed yourself nicotine through your skin/nose/gums for 12 weeks instead of just spending a few days in withdrawal. Also, I'm probably a candidate for becoming addicted to NRT so it might be wise to bypass it.

I've just transferred all my spare cash into a savings account so when this batch runs out I'll have to stop.

I don't know about it not being that hard to stop. I'm really worried that I'll transfer my habit to something equally negative, like compulsive eating or spending - I've done both in the past. I know they aren't as harmful to your health, but maybe it's better to stick with the devil you know IYKWIM. I'll see what happens anyway.

Good luck to everyone for a sober weekend. JustWater, how are you feeling about your first sober Saturday night?

BM, I've heard from loads of people that Allan Carr was fabulous for helping them stop smoking. DP, on the other hand, did it via the nicotine gum about 5 years ago...and is still addicted to it . I guess it's the lesser of two evils but it's fecking expensive.

Really? That confirms my suspicions then and I'll attempt cold turkey on Monday. The caffeine cravings naturally subside when I stop the nicotine anyway.

I did use the gum about 10 years ago and weaned myself off of it over a 12 week period. I gave up for a year exactly (had a cigarette as celebration - what a moron ). I found the gum really good at first but when I got down to a couple of pieces a day they used to give me anxiety symptoms. I think it was that I was having a relatively large dose of nicotine in one shot. I would get a big head rush, my heart would pump madly and my head would go bright red. I used to sit in my bedroom for half an hour and have my 'fix'. I was glad to give them up in the end, but felt I had to stick it out for 12 weeks to complete the course.

Does your DP find the accompanying dry throat and indigestion a problem Kokeshi, or was that just me that used to get that?

Apologies for the msn thing.

It seems that a mate 'forwarded' on the email to me, I clicked on the linky and it seems to have copied itself and sent it to everyone in my address book.
someone told me that they recieved it on Thursday at 12.40....when I was at the meeting?

Hmmm smoking, been a 20 a day smoker for absolutely years. Tried giving it up last year and the Boots one worked really well for me. Went to get some prescription ones from doc, tried them out but they didn't taste right. Doc said I wasn't supposed to eat them LOL. If you try the extra strength patches, you get a 'taste' in your throat. I;m not even thinking about packing up right now, because the drinking / smoking association is too much to handle right now and the smoking has been around for much longer.

Caffeine....I get terrible headaches if I don't have a coffee in the morning. I'm not really a person for coke / pepsi etc but I do love a coffee or eight!

And I'm still sober. Not even had a beer for a 'taste'.

Just popping on to say hi, off to bed soon (I hope). DP did get a sore throat (theory: "all the smoke killed the bacteria, and they couldn't grow before") and also indigestion (theory: "cos you chew and chew the gum to get every last wee bit of nicotine out, and it irritates the lining of the stomach". My mum said she got horrendous nightmares not the NRT patches though.

PurpleOne, just keep going back to AA and you'll figure out in time why they were saying about the keeping it in the day thing. It's not a challenge to your willpower!

Also, interested in what you were saying about taking beer for the 'taste'. I know, if I'm perfectly honest with myself, the taste the least of my concerns. I chased the effect. There are things that taste far more pleasant than beer, but we wouldn't think drinking, say 3 litres of freshly squeezed orange juice at once, or even a 12 pack of non-alcoholic beer.

I think of it like this: If I ate a pie that was off, even though it tasted fine, it would eventually make me feel ill. If I had 10 more of the same pies in the fridge, I would chuck them out because I know what they'll do to me. But, if I have beer/wine/vodka and it makes me just as ill, I'll still go back to it and do the same thing over and over again. So, why can I exercise that control and common sense over a dodgy pie that I can't do with alcohol? Knowing that all the times we've ever tried before had led to disaster, we'll keep doing the same thing and expecting different results. This time, I'll have one drink...

This is the crux of our problem.

PS BM, those are DP's theories verbatim when I asked your questions .

Hi folks, I've been out all day with an almost three year old with limitless energy so I'm gubbed. I've been thinking recently being with young children really helps you to stay in the moment, especially if any of you're like me who devote far to muh time to analysing and navel gazing. Stuff liuke going to the park and the art gallery are activities that I probably wouldn't think about otherwise. I'm grateful to him for teaching me those lessons. The best way to feel better is to get off my arse and actually start living. I have a tendency to isolate and spend to much time feeling bad about the past that I can't enjoy the present moment.

How is everyone tonight?

Hello. May I very shyly and cautiously post here, coz I've been away such a long time. My drinking is absolutely terrible at the moment, I have consumed about 3 litres of spirits this week. and this has probably been about average for me for a couple of months now. know this is terrible and really need to stop. Am so, so, so depressed as well, something I suffered before I started drinking....lets take a depressant to solve depression...yes I know! Things with my dh are much better, thank God, but I just can't seem to cope with my awful black depression. I can't go to AA, which I know is really popular here, I just can't, I'm too scared, depressed, anxious. Have difficulty just getting through a normal day, doing things I am familiar with, without 'putting myself out there' as it were. Anyway, sorry to bang on about me, you guys all seem to be doing really well, heroes!!!!

Hi Cubby. I was just off to bed but wanted to say hello

Glad to hear that your relationship with DH is much better. Are you on ADs or have you seen your GP about the depression? I don't think I've ever really suffered from it myself except when I had PND. I'm more 'manic' if anything and have highs and lows (not too extreme though). I can relate to the anxiety and it's been a big issue for me lately. I haven't been to a meeting yet this year and my anxiety is holding me back from participating at AA. If you lived near me we could go along along and tremble our way through it together . It's nice to hear from you again.

Kokeshi - I spend way too much time analysing. You knew that didn't you . Kids do set a good example with their short attention spans and appetite for exploring new things. It's great the way something will really upset them: not getting their own way or falling over and hurting themselves, but it's all forgotten so quickly. I wonder why we start to hold on to negative feelings as we get older. Children seem to be so good at letting go.

Hi BM, yes am on ad's, and actually, I can really relate to the 'manic' thing too. Pre-ds, I managed my mental health without meds, coz I had a lot more time to analyse what helped, what didn't, I kept a journal every day, that sort of thing. So very little 'quality' headspace these days, except when he's asleep by which time my brain is pretty much porridge! Started taking ad's when ds was 6 months old, as I didn't want to inflict my awful 'head' on him.

The manic aspect is horrible actually, I get way overexcited about anything nice, or if i have new project on the go, end up not sleeping, working till all hours etc. This is great on the way up, i climb and climb and climb - I call it getting 'whizzy', but there is always of course the inevitable crash into horrible, nasty depression. Over the years I have realised that I need to avoid 'nice' things, bummer, and not take on anything too challenging either, as I have no middle ground, no lovely level place. I'm either sky high, or rock bottom. It's awful, but when I'm doing as much as I can happily maintain without pushing myself into either place, I feel very lazy, and can't help but look at my contempories, who have challenging jobs as well as kids, or whatever.

Anyway, back to the drink. I never drink during the day, have a watershed I suppose of ds being in bed, and rarely have the desire to drink during the day. (Never get hangovers either, another classic sign). In my head it is a lovely pleasurable thing I want to save all for myself, for when I'm by myself. Saddo, I know! And I would say up to very recently, I have rarely drunk more than I knew would be out of my system comfortably by the time I needed to be out and about in the mornining. Fortunately, this has gotten later and later due to completely unrelated circs, which is a good job because my consumption has definitely crept up.

It's weird because, I'm a drink every day kind of girl, never having so much that I can't face it the next night, iyswim. But there have been a couple of days over the last month when this has happened. I felt pretty grotty for at least the first half of the day, and consequently really didn't want to drink that night. And i surprised myself because I really enjoyed being sober, liked the sensation of still being compus mentus enough before bed to tidy the kitchen and make a cup of tea. Wasn't quite so keen on all the night time radio i ended up listening to, but it was lovely to wake up without any kind of fuzzy head, and without that 'really wish I hadn't drunk so much' feeling. Logically, I can't see any real plusses for drinking anymore, loads for not, but just can't seem to get that to translate into action!
Anyway, sorry, don't know where all that came from, didn't mean to hog, and blather on about self...but thanks for the space. Love to you all, hang in there everyone. x

I know what you mean a bit about the getting a bit high, then the crash. It hasn't happened to me for years - I expect I've been therapised out of it! Are you on the right medication if you are getting high enought that it affects your day to day life?

I've been sober enough to read a book when I go to bed! I've still managed to drink quite a lot and I really think I'm going to have to find it in me to stop because I think it's doing bad things to my tummy. My tummy is in a mess and I'm quite frightened about it.

In March I have another boob operation - just a small one, and in Feb I have to go back to the gut surgeons. Surgeons are pretty strange.

Hi everyone well i managed the weekend ,have decided sunday teatime is the worst time ever ! had a moment of weakness in sainsburys when i hovered round the wine aisles for quite some time ,but decided to go and ask the paharmacist (nice young attractive man) if i could buy some thiamine. Do you remember the epsisode of friends where monica keeps remembering she snogged her boyfriends son and keeps sort of shuddering ,well thats how i feel now about my pharmacy incident , first he said yes so i got my purse out ,then he asked me why i thought i needed it ,so i said id recently stopped drinking ,cue deeply sympathetic look ,then he said i should go to the gp ,i was ready to wander off and then he suddenly came over all helpful ,starts looking in the back ( i think he was avoiding talking to the young girl wanting the morning after pill!) theres a massive queque forming behind me ,i expalined that i had some b vitamins and im sure they would be fine ,he found some thiamine but was worried about giving them to me because it was a big pack ( cant overdose on b vits as its excreted by body) ,so i said fine no problems ,thanks for all your help ,but then he decideds he should check all the vitamins they had on the shelves in case those had extra thiamine , bless him he was so kind and helpful ,but all i wanted to do was run away ! managed to extracate myself thaking him proffusley and promising i would go to the gps post haste ,while all the people in the queqe seethed .
BM are you sure you arent related to me with your diet coke addiction / nicotine dependency? Diet coke is definately addictive

why are surgeons strange ? what on earth are they doing /saying to you? Sorry to hear about your guts ,have you had an endoscopy ?

I think that surgeons communicate best through Post-it notes in cadavers. Apparently they have a reputation for being less than great communicators .

I was diagnosed with colitis at the end of last year and I'm having an operation to get rid of piles. Lovely!

Oh hellobello you've had it pretty bad. I agree surgeons are a strange breed.

Well done JW. How are you feeling? I hope you feel proud of yourself.
I bought Milkthistle and Kudzu in a health food shop 'for a friend' once.Hmm

poor you hellobello, hi teasle feeling ok ,dont feel fantastic but still getting over a rotten cold and the fags dont help either! Nearly done a week now ,so feeling mentally good about that ,had to summon up super human strength in the supermarket though ,hows things for you ? milkthistle i know about ,have also purchased some in the past ,but couldnt work out if you were supposed to take it before or after drinking ,not heard of kudzu

well i have had a bottle of lager ,feeling pretty crap about it so going to bed in disgust with myself ,will start again tomorrow

Hi JWFMT, please don't beat yourself up too much, it shows great courage by coming on here and admitting it, instead of going for the full on binge. What led you to pick it up? Were you feeling out of sorts? Did you have a moment of complacency? HAs something happened? When we figure out what our triggers are, it means we can intervene before it gets to the stage when we actually lift that drink.

I mean it, well done. Just do as planned and have a think about what you can learn from this. Guilt is a useless emotion and blocks us from growing from our experiences.

I'll check in tomorrow and see how you are.

x

it's kokeshi on a 'diet' by the way.

My dh is away and i was sick to the back teeth of diet coke and coffee and it was sitting there in the fridge all cold and lonely .I will go and buy something else soft to drink tomorrow ,theres a really nice ginger and lemongrass cordial that tastes nice hot aswell as cold . I didnt really want it. I do wonder if because i drink so much caffiene whether i end up drinking alcohol to counter the effects of it. No i think thats a big fat excuse

Sounds good JW, and at least there's nothing else in the house and the offie is shut. Be extra vigilant tomorrow that you don't gravitate towards the booze aisle though .

the house is full of alcohol ,just nothing i would drink . Im viewing it as a moment of weakness ,im glad ive come on here though because its given me new resolve.