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Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

1000 replies

kokeshi · 28/11/2007 12:14

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

OP posts:
teasle · 13/01/2008 22:33

HI middy- do you want to introduce yourself on active convos as a newcomer? Will hang around for a bit to join in. You could start a thread

southeastastra · 13/01/2008 22:36

i agree with you teasle, the religious aspect did put me off AA too

teasle · 13/01/2008 22:39

Don't let it though, SEA, if you want to give it a try. I'm still new to AA but have met some really nice people, and I try to take the bits that are helpful to me, if you see what I mean.

teasle · 13/01/2008 22:42

I wouldn't want to discourage anyone from trying anything if it helped them, so I hope I havn't come across that way.
I can only speak for myself, but it has taken me a lot to get where I am today, and I suppose I am still getting used to living sober and actually being able to think again, be it somewhat sporadic.

kokeshi · 14/01/2008 10:29

Great posts BM And teasle. LOL at the 'AA is flawed- its full of alcoholics for fucks sake'. So true.

AA isn't religious, there is no requirement to believe in anything, at all. The only way to understand ho it works is by actually going for a sustained period and not, I think, making your mind up from misrepresentations and stereotypes on the telly.

Here's the preamble to tell you what exactly AA is about. There's no mention of God or religion anywhere, except to say that AA isn't a part of any:

'Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism.

The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership; we are self-supporting through our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety'

How's everyone today?

OP posts:
monkeybutler · 14/01/2008 12:04

Hello everyone, not been on for a while because busy pulling myself together!. DD back at school, DS in started nursery and I am busy applying for new jobs. Not had a drink in 2008 and not bloody missing it. Feel so much better. D given it up too although we both say we dont feel like we have given wnything up other than feeling skint and shit. Had some great sex over last fortnight too. I am determined to make this the year I get better. Oh, also reducing prozac on docs advice and seeing counsellor. Just gotta get on with life. Hope you all OK and had reasonable festivities?.

kokeshi · 14/01/2008 12:10

Well done monkeybutler, glad to see things are working out for you...life is so much better without that shit isn't it? Keep posting, we need your positive stories and any hints and tips you may have (great sex notwithstanding ) for getting out of that cycle.

OP posts:
monkeybutler · 14/01/2008 12:14

The way I am gettng on is by filling my das with stuff I CANNOT be hungover for. I have picked up early morning hours at work on Thurs and Fri so dont drink Weds and Thurs evenings. I work Fri, sat, mon tues nights so I simply dont get chance. After a few weeks of that you feel so much more capable. I do have to occasional 'twinge' but maybe I am finally learning cause and effect. Being lovely and relaxed and drunk for three hours leads to 16 hours of feeling crap the next day, eating loads of rubbish and not being able to exercise. Is it really worth it, sometimes yes but the majority of the time I could do without!

teasle · 14/01/2008 12:15

Hi Momkeybutler- you sound really positive, its great. Glad to hear you are having great sex by the way!

Kokeshi- yes I like the preamble that they always say at a meeting..

This afternoon, I will mostly be baking- I have succumbed to the urge.

kokeshi · 14/01/2008 17:40

Sounds like you've been putting a lot of thought and planning into it monkeybutler. That's definitely a major part of stopping drinking. The more you have to occupy your time with, the less likely it is that you will fall back into the same patterns I think.

What did you bake teasle...mmmmm .

For those who are still having problems with the thought of going to AA, I think at least it's advisable to talk to the GP and discuss other options. Alcohol services and treatment centres vary from place to place, but many of them are short term solutions and may encourage something like AA or counselling in the end anyway. I've been through rehabs, done home detox and also outpatient centres but I've always gone back to AA as there are no waiting lists, I can go as much or as little as I like and I know it will always be there. Whatsmore, the people in the room know exactly what I'm talking about because they've been there too.

OP posts:
teasle · 14/01/2008 21:50

HI Kokeshi.
I did flapjacks and a blackberry and apple cake. I used to do loads of different stuff years ago, it all gradually petered out as I spiralled with my drinking. I don't just mean cooking, but lots of stuff. I used to take really good care of myself and was quite fit and healthy. Its just nice to FEEL like doing something, you know?

PurpleOne · 15/01/2008 02:14

MMMmmmmm teasle, blackberry and apple.

it reminds me of a time last year, in the depths of my drinking that me and dds had a really nice day out scrumping.
we picked 5lbs of blackberries and remember I gave dd1 a 'bunk up' on my shoulders to steal the apples! With a digestive biscuit crumble topping and fresh custard...yummy!

I am also going to the GPs this week to insist on some counselling. This needs to be done.
Hope everyone is well? x

justwaterformethanks · 15/01/2008 09:00

Hello , ive been lurking on and off on this thread for the last six months , and i have finally come to the conclusion that i am as close to being an alcoholic as id ever want to be ( may even be one in denial). Today i am not going to drink any alcoholic beverage .Sounds a bit pants but if i manage today ,then i will have a crack at reapeating it tomorrow and with a bit of luck and perserverance if i can keep doing it ,not drinking will be a habit instead of the other way round . I was going to say im going to stop for 3 months ,but feel i am setting myself up for a fall by aiming so high . so i have poured away the remants of the bottles of wine i have , dont even drink red but thought i could mix it with lemonade ,maybe i should of binned that too!!! Cant clear the house of alcohol as DH would explode if i poured his £40 bottle of malt down the sink ,luckily the smell/tatse makes me wretch ( iodine anyone?) .

teasle · 15/01/2008 09:56

HI Justwater, nice to hear from you! I think you are right about the one day at a time thing- thats what people keep telling me, and when it gets hard- which it can be at first- it can even be on minute at a time!
Do you think you have a drink problem then?

Let us know how you go on today and this evening, and welcome to the thread!

hellobellosback · 15/01/2008 10:25

I've been feeling almost too gloomy to drink! NOt that it stops me trying. Last night I drank 3 vodkas and it didn't make me feel any better at all. In fact it didn't make me feel anything and I really don't know why I bothered.

justwaterformethanks · 15/01/2008 10:56

Teasle yes i have a problem with alcohol ,its really only been the last 18months ,the last six i dont think theres been a day (possibly 1 or 2 ) when i havent finished off the day with a bottle of wine , my DH pointed out that im starting drinking earlier , used to start about 7 now its 5.30 , the worst part is once ive finished it i could easlily drink more ,but i only buy one bottle at a time ,otherwise i know i could be on 2 bottles a night . Before this I used to be a bottle on a weekend kind of person ,id love to be able to do that again ,see it as a treat as opposed to what i have everyday ,but i think i need to have a long period of sobriety to break the habit . As i said ,im going to do today first ,ive been saying this for months and hopefully now ive said it out loud so to speak ,i might find the courage to stick to it

hellobellosback · 15/01/2008 11:24

I had a month of being booze-free. It was inflicted on me by nasty diseases and long hospital stays! Since I got out I haven't drunk nearly so much nearly so often. At the moment I think I may be getting depressed. Alcohol just doesn't do it for me when I'm so miserable! I really do try to drink myself into oblivion at times. I'm not sure why I do it. It's like eating when you're not hungry. That's exactly what it feels like, and it's not very nice to see myself doing it.

I must go and change someone's stinky bum.

justwaterformethanks · 15/01/2008 11:40

alcohol is a viscious circle (drinking it that is) especially if your fed up or depressed ,it just compounds those feelings ,then the next day you get a feeling of self loathing ,which adds to it even further so you drink yourself senseless to mask those feelings etc etc . On a lighter note ,how come my skin and hair is so crap because of drinking yet the hair that sprouts on my chin ,keeps coming through strong and black as ever??

BrassicMonkey · 15/01/2008 12:08

Ha haaaa. I think the facial hair is just sods law.

Hi Justwater and welcome to the thread. You're right to take it 1 day at a time. You can do anything for 24 hours. When it gets tough you tell yourself that it's just for today and you'll deal with tomorrow when it comes. If that's too hard then tell yourself that you'll watch the end of a prgramme/wash up/put some laundry away/read another chapter of a book/anything and then you'll think about it again. I also found it helpful to put barriers in the way of drinking. I washed all my clothes once so I couldn't go out, didn't keep any cash in the house so I couldn't go to the off-licence (it's cash only) and had a bath and got into my pyjamas early. Breaking associations helps as well. I always used to drink at my computer desk and then come on here/MSN/chat rooms and talk a load of rubbish. In the early days I turned the computer off in the evening and watched TV instead.

The first couple of days are the hardest but it gets easier much quicker than you'd imagine. You'll get a buzz from the benefits once they kick in. I found that I slept better, had more energy, housework and paperwork became manageable again and I started to look a bit better too. When I have gone back to drinking since I stopped last year it's been a horrible reminder of how I used to live all the time - everything becomes unmanagable and I look terrible.

Good luck and keep posting to let us know how you're getting on.

LardyMardyDaisy · 15/01/2008 12:30

hi guys....now in my need to lose weight guise...twelvedaisy/daisyboo etc as was.

I've been missing this thread a lot, but for various reasons haven't been logging on. My drinking has got worse again....

My mum lost her brave fight with cancer last Friday and have been feeling really wretched especially as the PND is getting on top of me again, and it's so easy to turn to the bottle, especially as I'm here on my own with the kids.

Anyway, I'll try to log on again tonight, after I've caughtup with all the messages.

FioFio · 15/01/2008 12:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

monkeybutler · 15/01/2008 14:41

Thats just it BM, everything is just so unmanageable and hard when you are drinking isnt it?. There seems to be no time to do anything, you feel like you havent spent any time with family but you have been pissed whilst doing it so doesnt feel real. I now feel like I can get so much more done. Have sent some more CVs off today and taken DS to Manc Piccadilly to ook at trains. Had fun hour in Primark buying accessories - you can never have to many scarves and bags I reckon.

Now I lok 33 instead of 63 again I am going to make more of an effort everyday to wear ONE THING nice. Its a gold scarf today!. Next week I a treating myself to acrylic nails with the money I have saved on wine this last few weeks. Its in a jar in kitchen. I get the urge I put the money equivalent in the jar.

BrassicMonkey · 15/01/2008 15:09

Daisy, I'm so sorry. Don't expect too much of yourself over the next few months. You've got such a lot to deal with as it is. Keep posting for support xx

I just got sent this in an email from someone that knows I'm an alcoholic. Sorry it's long:

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in
front of him.

When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty
mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.
He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the
jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas
between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar.
Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full.. The students responded with a
unanimous 'yes'.

The professor then produced two glasses of wine from under the table and
poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty
space between the sand.

The students laughed.

'Now', said the professor, as the laughter subsided, ' I want you to
recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the
important things; your family, your children, your health, your friends,
and your favourite passions; things that if everything else was lost and
only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house
and your car.

The sand is everything else; the small stuff.

If you put the sand into the jar first, 'he continued, 'there is no room
for the pebbles or the golf balls.

The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the
small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important
to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to you happiness.
Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your
partner out to dinner. Spend some time with your friends. There will
always be time to clean the house and fix the sticking door. Take care
of the golf balls first; the things that really matter. Set your
priorities. The rest is just sand'.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the wine represented.

The professor smiles. 'I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that
no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple
of glasses of wine with a friend'.

'Please share this with a friend. I JUST DID'

I know that the person probably hit send and then thought "oh bollox, what have I just done"

teasle · 15/01/2008 15:47

HI Daisy- I am very sorry to hear about your mum. Hope you are keeping ok now and over the next few months.

Monkeybutler- what you are doing is brilliant- you sound like you are really getting everything organised.

Hi everyone else

justwaterformethanks · 15/01/2008 16:06

Daisy so sorry you and your family have gone through such a terrible time , hope you have some supportive people around you

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