Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread II?

[kokeshi]

Welcome to the thread, the purpose of this is to give anyone, who is having any trouble with their drinking, to come and post about it honestly and without judgement.

There are many of us that use the thread for support and encouragement: some in recovery, others just needing a place to share about their worries. It's been going on in one form of another for a while now and has helped many people.

Everybody's welcome, no matter what stage your drinking is at.

Jump right in, the water's fine

Hi All Happy New Year to you! I have done 2 nights this week having drank throughout the christmas/new year period. I was so embarrassed about the recycling box that I took my empties down to the tip. My niece was diagnosed with cancer before xmas she is only 18 and has come as a complete shock to the family. It has really made me think about me being selfish carrying on drinking everyday when I have young sons to care for. My niece is a healthy, non smoking young woman and I have been drinking for the best part of 20 years (breaks during pregnancy's) and it seems so unfair that she has it. Anyway just wanted to share that with you. I do read the thread every day so am up to date with how everyone is. BM I think for you to have a small set back and then just to stop drinking shows how far you have come. You sound such a together person that when I read how much you dislike yourself and your body image it seems so sad. You have helped many people on this thread and are so easy to share things with. Can you acknowledge the positive parts of yourself or do you see it all as bad? Sorry I'm just interested.
Anyway will post soon.
Take care everyone.

I'm still reading too!

Having major headaches and sooo trying to keep busy away from the pc (association) Loads of trouble sleeping recently too.

I bought a ton of books from the charity shop today, so should keep me busy for a while. The energy is slowly returning and have totally gutted out my house today! .

I'm also another one who hates looking in the mirror. I can't stand the reflection staring back at me, even though I know it's me....I have aged somewhat. I think the drinking has done that?

FT and BM, I can acknowledge small positive parts of me. All good parts, but self esteem and confidence is really low and that I really need to work on. But my body image is terrible.

3 nights (I prefer calling it nights) sober and ready to hit the pool / gym on Saturday!

Havalina- are you thinking of dissociation?- when your feelings and thoughts become detached and it changes your perception of who you are and how you see things? I think a form of dissociation is derealisation, but I think thats where everything else seems unreal. Other forms are identity confusion and depersonalisation. I know most of us have times quite normally when dissociation occurs and it can also be learnt ie meditation. Apparently can also be product of drug or alcohol use.

I sort of half remember this from years ago, so apologies if its wrong. My brain sort of kick started for a few minutes there.

I identify with not liking to look in the mirror. BM one of the things I never do is go to a hairdressers- I cannot face sitting being parked in front of a mirror being almost forced to stare at myself. I think alcohol does age you. Loads of people have said I look better compared to when I was drinking heavily. As women we tend to be over critiacl of ourselves anyway...

Flowertop, how awful for your neice and your family.

Hi Purpleone- don't wear yourself out!

Anyone else around tonight?

I only remember about the dissociation stuff by the way as I was diagnosed as showing synptoms of it in my very early 20s, at a time when I was working through the impact of abuse in childhood.

Hi Folks. The thing about looking in the mirror really strikes a chord with me, my appearance changed radically when I was drinking. Bad news is that alcohol is one of the worst things for premature aging of the skin. Because the liver is working at full capacity to try and deal with all the alcohol, many of the other necessary metabolic processes (1200 of them)of the liver are compromised. This includes being able to regenerate healthy tissue and getting rid of toxins, and also the dehydrating effect that alcohol has on the body and skin.

I'd definitely recommend anyone who's had issues with drink to go to the doc and ask to be prescribed B vitamins. I've written about this in detail before, but you'll feel so much better if your b vit levels are normal. I was talking to a nurse today (in the alcohol unit) who was telling me that she'd just been talking to someone with Korsakoff's syndrome - alcohol induced dementia/psychosis in a relatively young woman. The good news is that if we make an effort to really look after ourselves (physically, emotionally and spiritually) then most of these things can be prevented.

I was at my own AA meeting last night and we had a newcomer. It was such a fantastic experience for everyone because she finally found people who truly understood how she felt, and we were shown what it's like to be back at the beginning of recovery. She was really brave and opened up and spoke, became emotional and made some contacts at the end. This is how AA works: just a safe place to go and get support and understanding from other's who've been in the same position. More importantly, I think, to be shown that there is life after deciding to stop drinking and it's way better that we could ever have imagined.

Hope everyone's well

one thing that can stop me drinking is to look in the mirror while drunk. it's scary.

still not drinking apart from last friday. think if there was more to do i wouldn't crave it as much.

Hi everyone

Nice to hear from you again FT . I'm so sorry to hear your news about DN's diagnosis. She must be terrified, it's so unfair for all of you

Thanks for your kind words. I can acknowledge some good things about myself, but my appearance isn't one of them. I'm proud of some things like being well-organised, teaching myself to cook and knowing that DS thinks I'm a 'fun' mum. I'm not sure how this might come out, but I think I was quite pretty and noticeable when I was younger, and I really used my looks to get things from men. Now, looking in the mirror is shocking because I'm overweight, my hair is dry and greying, my face looks really red from the thread veins and psoriasis patches, I've got no idea how to put make up on or what clothes I should be wearing to flatter my shape, and I don't know where to start with changing things. I'm trying though, by getting my hair done tomorrow and looking after my skin. DS is 6 tomorrow and I haven't cared about my appearance since I became pregnant with him when I was 25. I've aged horribly since then.

Hi Teasle. What do you do instead of go to a hairdresser then? Do you have mates or relatives that do your hair for you? I'd bloody love that. I got EX-P to cut my hair once, when my scalp was covered in open sores and I was too ashamed to have anyone look at it. God, it was shocking! I don't know what the HD must have thought of me when I eventually went in to have it done properly.

Hi Kokeshi. I must brave the doctors and tell them about my drinking history. I haven't met my GP yet (old one left last year) so perhaps I'll make an appt. for a new batch of psoriasis meds and see if I'm brave enough to bring it up.

SEA - I used to slap a load of make-up when I was drunk and I thought I looked great at the time

I'm quite pleased with myself today. I still wasn't sure about what to get DS for his BD so went shopping again today. I got him this little camcorder thing which looks just like a digital camera, but it's basic controls and looks like an ipod (so quite cute I think). You can view the film on a pc afterwards and take snapshots from it. I'm really pleased with myself for finding it

BM

I hack at my hair when I feel the time is right for a cut...and I hack at dc's hairs too!

It's all I know, I can't afford haircuts.

Found some great exercise equipment in Sainsburys in their sale. ABS stuff for £4.99? I have the other weights?

Doesn't stop my face though. I work for a lot of people and I 'borrow' their facial stuff. Creams, toners and cleansers. I still look really fookin' old.
My mate when I went down to see her, took one look at my gut and asked me 'when I was dropping the sprog'? and 'elasticated trousers are for the over 40's'?
Hated her taking the mickey out of me anyway, had a row with her when I got back...but words are in the ether for now....

Hope all of you are well. I'm off to AA again next Thurs.

x x x

think I'll join you

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY BM's DS
Have a great day x x

am lonely and never usually visit these websits but seem to have scared off everyone..what have I done wrong??!

hi hedonia you havent done anything wrong not all people are vampires like us what keeping you awake tonight?

hi hedonia you havent done anything wrong not all people are vampires like us what keeping you awake tonight?

Hi hedonia, and medhismummy welcome to the thread. Come and tell us how you are and what's going on in your lives.

Happy birthday mini-monkey! BM,did you find your skin got worse again after your relapse? I did. Also my skin gets worse in the winter and I know it's to do with the lack of sun. It's just came back on my scalp and it's really embarrassing.

Flowertop, I missed you r message below. Sorry to hear about your niece, what sad news. Welcome back to the thread and keep posting about this stuff. Don't feel you have to stay away if things are bad, we're all here to support each other.

PurpleOne, I'm so glad you're going back to AA, well done for making that decision. Incidentally, I found my bloatedness was fluid retention and when I stopped drinking, it disappeared quite rapidly. Also you'll be cutting out huge amounts of empty calories in drink.

Havalina, have you ever considered AA for yourself? Loneliness and lack of human interaction is one of the things a lot of female home drinkers have in common. If you have kids,it's also especially hard to make meaningful relationships with people. AA meetings give us the chance to be with other adults and socialise, in a way that we otherwise wouldn't get the chance to if we continue to isolate and drink alone.

Gah, I promised myself I'd be in bed early tonight! Oh well, there's the weekend for catching up I guess.

can't find the thread!

where did yougo?

WHo are you looking for? You need to go to the 'threads I'm on' link at the top of the page and then you can keep track of everything you're posting on. Are you new?

got you!

You OK?

i am pissed and coked up and on my owm with work tomorrow..bad

you there?

Oh dear. WHat time do you have to be up? What do you do? I see you're quite active on the religioun/philosophy thread...are you searching for something you think?

Hey gimme a chance, I'm straight and sober so not as fast as you on the keyboards

I'm just a thrill seeker really - noone would understand..

ah how do i get discussion up?