Rock of 'gages cleft for me, let me hide my fruit in thee - 10/10 club, all welcome :o)

[TooTicky]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page.

I have that Susan streak, too, thank goodness. How can you do anything other than be honest about it, (I guess)?

Thanks TooT..I have been to the Dr because I was so worried, and so have frightening stuff to use / take, and couldn't face the trip to town today. Tomorrow I will go to the Health shop and see what is on offer.

Despite 10/10 I think my bowel is very sluggish which might be due to having an underactive thyroid, so perhaps I need to take something on a regular basis.

I will be back after DS' stories to talk about control & swords.

Avi, yes I was diagnosed about 6 years ago and I take thyroxine. Initially my levels were borderline but I was quite symptomatic. After DS was born my levels went haywire and I felt awful for a year or so. Since then I have increased my dose and things have settled. I still need lots of sleep and get hopelessly tired but I have come to accept it. Anyway I think perhaps I need to look into a long term plan for managing the old Farmer Giles

Right, swords and the like.

I think there is a distinction between controlling behaviour and making choices for your children which you believe are in their best interests (not stuffing them full of sweets) or because you have strong feelings about certain things (swords e.g)

Franny you are doing the latter, your motehr is doing the former. They are not the same, honestly.

And along wih not allowing swords you will be explaining to DS why not. You are teaching him your moral code which in the case of swords is fairly reasonable, I would say.

can you all talk me into coming to london in nov? I need to book train if I'm doing it but I am panicking as things are tight financially at the moment, and not likely to improve drastically. I also have ds birhtday next week, then in dec I have dh, dear mum and the other ds. Right before xmas

I really want to come, it will do me good. Help me justify it to myself, please....

It will do you good.

It will be stupendous.

Evening,

Franster, hope you are bearng up under mother strain, FWIW I think you are being saintly not saying anything, I don't think I could.

That's a very good and sage point FK.

How do you make the distinction though? I think the point F&Z made about being manipulated is probably spot on really. Perhaps 'choices for their best interests' are things where you say, 'no we're not doing that' and controlling behaviour is where you say 'you have to do this.' Do you think?

But I still think it is a murky area, and it's very difficult to navigate your way through it. You just have to trust your instincts I suppose.

FWIW I didn't have a controlling mother AT ALL. She was marvellously disinterested, so I suppose the combination of that and my school with no rules, means I'm trying to work it all out as I go along, and don't feel I have prescribed path either way or the other in front of me.

It probably also accounts for why I think certain things are controlling, and others think they are just parenting choices. Hah - beware a liberal child-centred education, you have been warned, it turns you into a fruit loop with no moral compass.

I don't think your distinction works, avi - things like "you must brush your teeth" are good parenting choices IMO and not controlling. Good try though. I don't think it is anything simple, and one person's good choice might be another person's manipulation, maybe?

I am home now. As soon as I left their house and got in the car it hit me in an enormous wave "What the FUCK happened there, how the bloody hell did I allow any of that allowed to happen, and how could I have possibly been put in that situation by people who one would reasonably expect to have my best interests at heart?"

Have had long emotional rant to HC on the phone in the car; she was marvellous of course. I am not doing anything hasty. I am thinking I can't really be doing with this sort of shit in my life again, though.

Sorry - meant "100" not "avi"

Boco how are the girls now?

FK very sorry to hear about your health problems

FMF I think honesty is best. Not complete honesty all the time but generally, honesty.

How is everyone else doing? I am sorry i have successfully dominated the thread with my problems even while I was not meant to be here Sorry.

Franny, sorry she made you feel this way (and for being a bit flippant earlier about the stinging swords).

Oh my goodness Franny you have had a shit couple of days haven't you. Has it all been really bad? FWIW the "oh I didn't think" or the "oh she doesn't mean any harm by it" arguments DO NOT wash with me either. I can never take things people say or do at face value (although I often try to convince myself that I am mad for constantly looking for the motives for things people say/do when there perhaps aren't any)

Being undermined makes you feel very small and it is very draining to be having to constantly defend, justify and explain your parenting choices, only to have them dismissed. I am really sorry you've had to go through all that (I assume it's not the first time?)

FMF YOU ARE COMING! Do you want me to phone and give you a good talking to?

Boco how are your girls? And how are you? Sorry they've not been well.

Don't know if I can catch up with the rest but HELLO EVERYONE and I am very sensible

Thanks chaps

lionheart I thought the jokes were funny! I like FMF's stick to your guns one too

Message withdrawn

Thank heavens (we have de-sworded out house, basically, because I couldn't take it).

or alternatively fmf i'll remind you that i'm going lol but don't let that put you off

talking of which i have a date for thurs lol..it's a drink in leam so at least i know it's a date..and i've seen him on webcam and he looks v nice...sadly he is another bl 31 year old with a great body and brains so i don't rate my chances highly

good luck dior and anyone else weight losing..i am still on target now on 10st 7 or thereabouts so that is just about 4 stone lost...

I hope you do go Filthy, i'm looking forward to meeting you. And to telling my friends that i'm meeting a woman off the internet i've never met before who is called Filthy. My friend popped in yesterday on his way back to London, and when he heard i was having a weekend away asked if i he could meet after the lunch and look after dd for me while i have a massage at this place he thinks is amazing. Which just adds to the weirdness really, but it's a kind thought.

DD1 is ok and i'm sending her back to school tomorrow. DD2 is still pretty poorly, but hopefully the antibiotics will kick in. I'm feeling cabin feverish, i need to get out tomorrow or i might go bonkers.

FMF did you not say you had booked the hotel already? You can't cancel those discount rooms once booked, so you have already paid for that bit presumably. It seems a waste not to use the room.

Boco is she well enough to go out wrapped up warmly? Or not well enough to be out of bed.

She's been out of bed all day, dozing on the sofa and then after a dose of calpol she'd venture into another room and ruin / destroy / unpick / dismantle something. She'll have to go out bundled up as still have to do school run on foot.

Oh. I was just thinking if you could get out somewhere in the fresh air you might feel better. It sounds very annoying stuck in with her footling about like that.

Oh sympathies Boco, ill children are a strain. Poor dd2, I hope she feels better too soon.

ANYWAY, I'm clearly not getting the controlling thing right. DS2's teacher said at parents evening, 'he is very eccentric isn't he?' and then we stared at each other. I don't know whether she thought that was a good or bad thing, but I didn't want to ask. Then she said, 'he told me he thought I shouted too much' and we stared some more, and I said, 'do you?' and she looked at me all hard and said, 'I don't want him to be scared of me.'

Was a strain actually. Aren't teachers weird? DS1's teacher was sweet, but god he could talk, on and on about how y5 and y6 boys and girls like to sit in the classrooms. We kept smiling and nodding.

I don't like parent's evenings, I find them unnerving. And I always think the teachers hate me. That's unbalanced and narcisstic isn't it?

Boco,

Have tried to talk to you on FB, but it's not co-operating, bah!

Hope you can bundle DD2 up and go for a walk in the park or something, to stop going stir crazy with fractious kids.