The Invisible ...... Mango - 10 / 10 thread - all welcome

[FrannyandZooey]

For anyone who wants a boost to their general health. The suggested goals are:

EAT 10 PORTIONS OF FRUIT AND VEGETABLES EVERY DAY - if you don't usually eat much fruit and veg I would build up gradually or you could upset your digestion.

DO (AT LEAST) 10 MINUTES OF EXERCISE EVERY DAY - can be yoga, stretching or something more energetic. The plan is that the idea of doing 10 minutes is not too daunting, and having started you may well find you want to do more.

There are no restrictions on what you eat so long as you get your 10 fruit and veg as well. The focus is not on weight loss but on improving our energy levels and hopefully our general mood and well-being. Sign up below and post here to tell us how you're getting on and how you are feeling.

Basic guidance on what constitutes a portion of fruit and veg here and you can download more detailed information by following the link at the very bottom of the page.

I love tahini and marmite, except I use Natex because it has less salt. O buggeration, I forgot to buy tahini yesterday. POO!! That is annoying.

Yes yes yes READ POBBY AND DINGAN

this is my advice to you all for the day

and if you don't like it, DON'T TELL ME

you obviously have no hearts and it is better that I don't know this

BBB YES PLEASE. Can you email it to me so that no-one will know how much of it I am about to steal and use myself?

PSW I run 4 children's groups in the week - 1 bark sucking, the other 3 more scarf waving. They are for different aged children.

Apropos the meet-up name thing. I'm not sure I can be filthymindedvixen in person. Real Life people will think I'm a prostitute or something. And |Filthy is not much better Perhaps you could call me Moonie (as in fullmoonfiend) I get called that in RL sometimes so I will respond to that. You could start practising . I know I will call Franny Franny! And I struggle to call Tatties by her real name...I expect PSW may have a similar problem to me

100 we have had 3 birds found mysteriously dead in our garden this summer. So I guess that was a bad omen for the birds to fly past our house? They all looked unharmed, just very dead. I am wondering if we have a kind of avian Bermuda Triangle here.

The things is all your MN names are so NICE. Who would want to be called anything other than Tatties, ever?

Don't worry, I am quite used to being called Franny

I have also inadvertantly discovered how to stop ds being an arse. He was being an arse, at lunchtime, today (yes I know we are early). I was at a loss as to what to do when I trumped (possibly out of frustration?). He started laughing and saying "Your trump has made me so happy, Mummy." So that's that sorted

That's boys for you...

(you all have lovely MN names - but filthy! I ask you!)

Hello.

I don't have much veg intake to declare yet - but can i tell you about my instructor dilemma? I'm confused. I don't want to go out into mumsnet large.

please do!

yes!

is it driving?

Got to go. I have to brave Claire's Accesories and find vile scary pink things for a friend's DD who is 8 tomorrow.

• just had to do some playing with dd2 there.

Yes, driving. So, i had this instructor, Roger. After my first female instructor who was shouty and rude and badgering - I thought Roger was great as he explained things really well and was a good teacher.

But - Roger let me down at the last minute all the time - saying he was ill - and as i'd run around the village arranging childcare, it was annoying. And, he's a hand holder. We'd pull over and he'd say 'come 'ere you! and want to hold my hand in an affectionate and yet controlling freak uncle way.

So, when my money ran out i didn't bother to arrange more lessons - haven't known what to do. Then i got a text from roger, a little bluntly saying 'meet me in the carpark at 10, i want my book and driving cdrom back.'.

So, i met him in the carpark, and i think he thought he was in the Bill. He pulled up and said 'get in'. So i did, and sat staring out the front and said 'you haven't called'. and i said no.

He said that every year he takes 2 people and doesn't charge them for lessons - only petrol - and that the vicar says those people have to be from his village - which isn't my village, and that if he picked me the vicar will be shirty, but not to worry, as he'll deal with that. And I said thanks - that's a very kind offer - and then he smiled, and ruffled my hair like i was about 7, and patted my thigh.

And i'm confused. Is this sordid? Is he a kind man who just makes slightly odd judgments about physical contact - and is basically just affectionate, or am i getting free lessons in return for a fondle in a layby? What do you think?

I think he sounds weird and creepy. I think I'd want to run a mile.

What I mean is, I would hate the ambiguity of the situation because you would never know where you stood and if he would expect something from you at some point.
Could you say you need to discuss it with your dh?

Boco - trust yr instincts on ths one. Mine wd be saying run a mile. Hair ruffling and thigh patting not accceptable in the prof context between adults. The free lesson thing is a bit creepy too. Why would he offer them to you if he normally offers via the church? And what's in it for him? He may enjoy your company and he may get off on the way you change gear etc but it would spook me completely, even though it sounds as if it wouldn't get physical. Or any more physical.

I'd be and steer well clear. Excuse the pun.

Have had 8 plums and anapple so far. Saving my morning raspberries to [ut in a pavlova

Don;t do it - your head is already saying no. The mention of the vicar is very suspect - like it legimaitses it and he is already established as a litle 'touchy feely'. Actually I wold turn it down purely on the basis of the 'get in' part.

Something esle will come up. this si not worth it.

Not related but my driving instructor used to 'adjust me seat belt' for me - often around the bra area.

Oh dear i thought you might all say that. The thing is, i'm skint - really skint. I have absolutely no money of my own, and dp has crap income and i just can't afford to pay £46 for a 2 hour lesson. What he's offering amounts to over £500 worth of lessons, for only the cost of the petrol. I'm so desperate to learn to drive because i live in a small village with very little transport links - every now and then you can get a bus - to another village. And next year i'd like a job - or to re-train, and if i can't drive i can't get a job. You can't cycle anywhere from here! I need a job to afford to pay for the lessons - vicious circle. It's creepy, but it's not as if i'd suddenly let him feel my boobs or anything - but i do have a niggling feeling like this is just too bizarre. Couldn't i just do the lessons and put up with the odd thigh pat?

Am i a learner whore?

It isn't beyond the bounds of possibility that he is just being avuncular and he might think you're a 'funny little thing' and he wants to help you to learn to drive, and is a bit bossy about it. Do men often react to you in this way?

Personally, I would find that attitude incredibly patronising and annoying and would tell him to eff off for the hair ruffling alone.

He might not be going to fondle you, but he is going to patronise you, and Be Powerful during your lessons, which is intolerable in my experience whilst trying to master a three point turn.

Are there any more instructors around?

What I meant by that question was - if men often react to you in this way, then you are well judged to understand it. Does that make sense?

Men used to have this incredibly protective attitude towards me - I mean instructors and lecturers and people like that - because I looked so young. I opened my mouth, and then they hated me.

So, if this is the case then take the lessons.

When he puts his hand on your thigh, look him straight in the eye and say, 'Take your hand off please.'

He will be shocked because he thought you were 'a funny little thing' and then he'll hate you, but who cares because you're getting free lessons.

If he becomes hostile, then you drop the whole thing.

That's exactly what he's like 100x.

No, i don't think i've experienced this before.

I bet he's a bully to women in his life. Yes, not conducive to great lessons. It's the financial thing. There are other instructors around - not many but there are some - but i can't actually pay them at the moment. The only reason i got the last lot was because i got a social services grant as a full time carer as dp was off sick. He's at work now so they won't give me any more. I've got some work on - 3 jobs, but they will pay for living. I just don't have an extra £46 a week.

I know that he knows that you don't pat thighs, and he knows i know. And he knows that i'm not comfortable with him or with him trying to hold my hand - it's all so hard how can i concentrate on my 3 point turns?

x post 100.

I had a boss who was in his 50s and believed that we were deeply in love. When it started i was 23 and found him physically fairly repulsive. And then gradually found out that he wasn't at all who everyone thought he was - respectable golfing charming manager. He had spent years in prison and therapy and was totally personality disordered. He'd lied to get the job and been there years. And he actually believed that i was teasing him and wanted him to be my boyfriend - no matter what i said. And when i finally said fgs, you're my boss and i am not interested in you and i want this to stop now or i will complain about you! - then he pinned me to the wall by my wrists. And i walked out and complained and he was sacked. Was awful. Maybe i'm being oversensitive and this man is just a little misguided and over helpful.