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I AM A NON SMOKER. I INTEND TO STAY THAT WAY!!!

360 replies

minkmama · 19/09/2004 21:43

Hi girls,

I know it's a little 'in yer face' but i felt we needed a huge reminder everytime we posted each other!

Fresh start for Monday then!!

OP posts:
Twink · 30/09/2004 22:33

Scummy

One day I'll get you, but even after all this time you know I'll still struggle in Brighton.

ScummyMummy · 30/09/2004 22:34

Sounds like she's just got a fantastically bizarre and wonderful view of the world, Twink. Can i adopt her, please?

ScummyMummy · 30/09/2004 22:40

I do feel more and more that one day it'll happen, Twink, and there'll one day be a totally smoke-free me. I really am getting there, though incrementally and with bad blips along the way and I therefore certainly couldn't call myself a non-smoker as yet. However, I do think my spirit is slowly getting more willing- though my flesh is still weak as water.

fionagib · 30/09/2004 23:31

am so bloody tempted tonight. dh has gone to bed with the same tummy bug I had yesterday and has left his fags downstairs (in next room to PC) so I could just pull off the patch and have one. Grrrr!!!

Just want one! Sort of know am not gonna tho, will propell myself to bath with mag and wine instead...

oh mm, must be horrible for you knowing your parents are due to go v soon - have they been living over here or just on a long holiday? Poor you, must be an emotional time. btw your oils have been used lavishly during last few days after a lull in oil usage (I like to smear myself first thing in morning but my bloody nicotinelle patch wouldn't stick!) Yum - have used all the mood swing oil, have about an inch of the depression oil which is peppery and as you said not so floral, still nice tho and v potent.

Am thinking that I'd like to give you a list of friends and the kind of smells they like, their personalities etc, and order a batch of xmas pressies from you, would that be ok??? Do you have a few of those lovely dark blue neal's yard bottles?!

Do say if it's a pain (& if you can do it, pls charge me a reasonable price!) If it's ok when would you like the list (about 8 people?)

BTW also mm - my pals on the yorkshire w'end were swooning over your mood swings oil which I finished off then (something to do with being in a house with 7 kids!)

Fag craving is subsiding now...

scummy mummy why don't you join us when you're ready. No point until then. The thread is a massive support tho, the people who come on here, who know exactly what you're talking about when you're sweating & shouting & de-bowling soft toys - it really helps to yack on here. I am 40 next month and have smoked for 20 yrs. I love love love it and hate it with a vengeance. Have this ridiculous notion (still) that smoking is part of me and that I will never agian have such a good time without it, ever, and that life will be kind of faded and bleary and never as sharp as it once was. Gimme a hammer cc!!!

oh and cc, about cutting up cuddly toys hee hee - that just sounds like one of them wild bugger it all moments that we all have unless we're spooky androids - I once stuffed Dex's grommit soft toy into the hatch up to our attic while he stood there howling & sobbing... sometimes you run out of ideas of what to do when you're mad.

Soft toy disaster: Sam aged 7 has lost his fave cuddly monkey - Ginger coloured (toy, not son), long & thin, with velcro paws which stick together. Sam wears it round his neck when he goes out on his bike. Must have lost it on bike ride on mon (our school hol in scotland). Have searched house, co- op, spar, chemist, put up LOST MONKEY signs in 2 newsagents. He is gutted.

Am gonna go for bath before temptation strikes...

also embarrassed by long long post, sorry girls, think I needed to talk, even to silence, & also keep out of kitchen where fags are.

night night xxx

fionagib · 30/09/2004 23:41

also twink love your 'colour of wheat' story!

How's your running going? Wanna start a running tips thread? I love it, or at least after the first 15 mins which are always sheer hell. It really has changed my life & attitude to my body, health etc. Have had dire tummy this week so have done nothing active... am aiming for half marathon in exeter (even tho I live in scotland, am gonna run it with a friend who lives near there). Aiming for this will be a way, hopefully, of keeping running in winter when it's cold and crap outside.

Also can I ask, as this really intrigues me, why you're so helpful & motivating for us poor struggling nearly ex smokers when you gave it up ages ago yourself??? Am sure if it was me I wouldn't wanna have anything to do with the whole ciggie giving up chat thing. Am just intrigued. And I do love reading your posts cos you make so much sense. Think you should start a clinic, twink.

I will shut my trap now & go to bed!

fionagib · 30/09/2004 23:43

I AM NOT GONNA HAVE A FAG!
I AM GONNA GET INTO A BATH AND READ MARIE CLAIRE WITH A NICE GLASS OF WINE!

(message to self, at 23.10 pm, in wild f**ing fury and nerve tingling desperation with fags in the next damn room)

charliecat · 01/10/2004 10:48

Phoar does anyone know if FG got through her craving???
I must confess to having a fag last night
Didnt help and didnt enjoy it.
Didnt stop my dd from being a pain in the ass and didnt stop me from being irritated by her.
Am claen this morning and long may it continue.

How are you MM?

Posey Hows it going for you? Does your other half smoke?

fionagib · 01/10/2004 17:16

phew, got over the craving, ranting on here really helped last night...

but a horrible thing happened today - was driving with dd to glasgow to meet mum (1 hour drive) and on motorway I started to feel panicky and sweaty and shaky - hands, body, even my head - was totally terrified, everyhting felt surreal like I might not be able to control the car. Was even worse when the m'way lanes changed (ie traffic joining from left) so I ended up in the middle, with traffic on both sides, was nearly in tears - got off as soon as I could pulled into a layby,calmed down, managed the city streets okay...

It happened a bit on way home as well, had to talk myself through the shakes & sweats. What was it? A panic attack? The nicotinelle patch? I ripped it off in car & started to feel better.

excuse rant girls, but it really freaked me!

Have never had anyhting like a panic attack but did faint at a party on tue. I was healthier when I smoked!!!!!

charliecat · 01/10/2004 18:04

Fiona...Poor You. OMG thats must have been so scary. There is a list of symptoms as long as your arm on all these stop smoking products, do you think you should lower your dose or try something else?
Do you think its those? It sounds like you do. Maybe with the lack of air in the car, combined with the patch and the heat at the party and the patch its buggering up your temperature gauge???
Dunno..you need to do something though. You were excellent getting over your craving...xxx...
I have swore like a tropper today, am definetly due on. Was going to put the kids in bed at 6.30 but have plonked them in the bath and as they havent been toooooo irritating im going to let them play on the pc when they get out.
To add to my shittyness dd1 has nits so I need to do all of us again tonight, I always say Ill do it every couple of days but ewwwww the thought of them being in our heads just gets to me, so off to de-nit again. No fags still.
Will let you know how my cd goes BTW, and send it to you both if its any good, listened to the intro but the hypnotic bit wasnt a good idea with the kids running about screaming upstairs.

fionagib · 01/10/2004 19:36

intrigued by your CD cc, hope you manage to nab some peace & get all soothed or whatever it's meant to do! Will you be reading allen carr with a gobful of lozenges at the same time??!

Yeah, think maybe it was the patch or some kinda bug - I've had one, dh has, and now sam is ill in bed too. Have posted a panic attack thread to see if anyone can tell me what they're actually like.

God, aren't nits a ruddy pain, so vile under a very powerful microscope - ever looked? (only jokin'). Hope you manage to zap the buggers!

Am gonna switch to a lower dose patch I think - in meantime dh is bringing lozenges home, HOPE they keep me fag free...
catch up tomorrow girls - hope you've all had a good fag free day & aren't craving tooo badly! xx

charliecat · 01/10/2004 19:43

The lozenges are great FG you will be fine and I havent had any side affects from them, no rise in temperature or anything.
Saw your thread, ive never had a panic attack but my mums friend did the other day.
She has 3 kids and has a very high up stressful job and she was having a good day at work she said then she had a crushing sensation in her chest and she thought she was having a heart attack.
The paramedics turned up and she was hooked up to all sorts of machines, it wasnt a heart attack it was a panic attack.
My mums had one I think hers was different from that I will ask tommorow.xx
Take carexx

fionagib · 01/10/2004 20:07

Thanks for that cc, also have a horrible lumpy shoulder from where I stuck a patch a few days back - am def gonna stop using them!
catch up tomorrow xxx

charliecat · 01/10/2004 20:09

Night fgxx

charliecat · 02/10/2004 09:07

Hope your ok FG, and hope to see you back here soon Mink and all the others who drop in not half as often as I do!
I listened to that cd last night, it was a hypnotic thing and OMG the bloke had such a robotic voice, sounded like a computer, but I listened to it, thinking it might just help, and it went on for AGES>>>>but all I can really remember is the bit at the end where he was saying squeeze your fist and everytime you do remember to forget you ever smoked...LOL so, I thought brilliant, thats just what I need to do.
Much fist squeezing today then!

fionagib · 02/10/2004 10:10

arrggghhh... had fags last night, had torn off patch & felt so het up re car thing etc etc... am at a loss really, need a substitute definitely, think will go for lozenges, am really peed off with myself for crumbling after 12 days. Was feeling so good, proud & positive and now think I just can't bloody do it. Hate the stink, dependency etc - everything to do with fags.

Am gonna nip out later, see what pharmacist recommends...

charliecat · 02/10/2004 11:08

Bet he recommends a dirty great big Mallett...Oh Fiona!!!!!!!
You CAN do it. You have been doing it, 12 whole days and weeks before that.
We CAN all do it.
The just one undermines our confidence and makes us feel as if we cant but we really can.
I can send that CD if you want.
I am only on day 2 really with my fag here and fag there, its a shit.
And you know what I honestly really thought on the bus on the way home yesterday...I thought, Do I really want to stop smoking so I can live till im 88 all diddery and old, maybe I should just smoke and then ill die early.
FFS if thats not the nicotine talking I dont know what is, what a thought...
Of course I want to live till im 88 or 108 to see my kids grow up and maybe thier kids too, but thats what the little monster tryed to tell me
Its the biggest filthiest dirtest Bastard I have ever came across.
Kill it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The lozengers are really good. They are sort of a doing something way of stopping, when your feeling rattly you pop one in and it takes effect almost instantly and you forget you wanted a fag. Its good.

I have been in the shittyest mood this morning, dp said he couldnt take us to a birthday party miles away so I got my mum and her friend to cancel thier arrangments so they could take us.
Realised at 7.30 am dp was still in bed. I asked him if he was working, he said No. I said WTF are Mum and Hil coming to take us to the party for then?
He said I dont know.
DUHHHH, so I thought if I cancel now so he takes us they will be let with nothing to do and be well pissed off with me for cancelling in the morning, so I asked him to leave here so I could say Nothing and pretend he was at work, so he starts kicking up a stink saying he shouldnt have to and Im saying, Well if your here they are gonna think im taking the piss...rah rah rah.
Hes gone out now. I have asked him not to reapeear till after 12 when we will be gone and we will see what happens.
I hope he steers well clear as I will be so embarresed if he turns up when they are here.
I am soooo
Today however im in the frame of mind that a fag will not help the fact dp can be an ar$e so thats good.
What are you doing about your panic attack FG?
Is there anything you can do? Other that try and destress?

Hello Mink! Thinking of youxxx

charliecat · 02/10/2004 17:39

Had good day came home and just seeing dp has put me in a mood again. He hasnt emptied the washing machine or fuck all. How id like to be so disconnected from family life it didnt enter my head to lift a finger to anything.
In fact just to piss me off further hes currently being a free taxi service for the twat next door. What was my gripe with this morning?

Twink · 02/10/2004 22:02

CC you are a saint, if that had happened to me there would have been a manslaughter piece on tonight's Channel 4 news. BUT that doesn't mean it's ok to smoke.

FG, crap days happen, you know they do. But the day after today (tomorrow never comes) you won't smoke.

After I found out I was pregnant & stopped patches (NHS Direct were adamant I couldn't carry on) I still had crap days and YES, I still had 1 here and there, not proud of it but at the time it never seemed 'real'.

I stopped counting numbers of successful days cos it just pissed me off when I blew it. Eventually I just stopped counting & realised I'd managed to stop for quite a while.

FG, I've tried to work out why I'm here, and I don't know, it's not because I've quit and you haven't, quite the opposite; I think it's because I've done it so many times and heard all the excuses, I'd like to stop others from going through the same.

Most of MN know that I've quit for YEARS 3 times and still fallen foul of the whispering & ended up back on 40 a day. This time I'm nearly 6 years in (again !) but I'm far more together and know that it is IT!

If you'd rather I left you all to support each other I won't be offended, far from it but if you want me to hang around I'll continue to post.

charliecat · 02/10/2004 22:52

No No No Twink dont leave us, maybe FG was wondering if you were here cheering for us because all that time later you need to reasuure yourself by ranting, like we do about the non smoking thing...I dont think she meant it like Bug off we know youve quit, now Sod off...im sure she didnt LOL!!!

Have you persuaded any real life folks to stop? I would love to wave a magic wand over all my nearest and dearest but I have enough trouble sorting myself out.
I am sooo pleased to be back in that "well it wont help anyway" stage.Thank F* for that.
And this is with RAGING hormones the week before I come on when I resemble, er Atila the Hun, or whoever that ferocious lady was LOL.
Have had a very early Halloween Party with the dds and thier cousin. I remember the last time he stayed I was sneaking outside for a fag as I didnt want him, saying eeewww why you doing that (his mums stopped a couple of years back). So it was nice not having to hide and sneak.
Long may it continue.
Blooming eck my posts are getting to an alltime longness!!!!!!!

charliecat · 03/10/2004 11:08

The new threads gonna be called Charliecats insane ramblings to herself...take pity and say Hello!

minkmama · 03/10/2004 12:38

hey cc am balancing ds2 and catching up...taking ages due to fg@s mammoth posting

with any luck will be able to speak to you all tonight...

OP posts:
minkmama · 03/10/2004 12:39

meant to type "fg's post"!

OP posts:
fionagib · 03/10/2004 18:59

Oh twink I didn't mean for you to go away, quite the opposite!!!! So sorry if it came across like that! Am always pleased to see a post from you, you make loads of sense, are very inspiring & generous & also don't shout at anyone if they crumble! Please stay!!!!!!!!!

well girls had lovely weekend with friends staying, v boozy, and also am shamed to admit, v v smokey... and am now revved up for quitting tomorrow with lozenges....

poor cc re domestics, I do sympathise - have ranted on here about washing dishes at midnight etc - so bloody maddening!

will catch up tomorrow, hope everyone's had good w'end
xxx

charliecat · 03/10/2004 20:19

Good Luck for tommorow FG!!
Hello Mm, are you ok? At least youve had time for a quick update today...you are certainly the supreme champion of all of us!
I am doing ok here. This morning was the first morning, in my WHOLE 3 days that I woke up not thinking, wheres the nearest fag butt, but wheres my lozengers, so thats good.
Went into my mums for 5 mins and she had a fag in her hand and she was coughing and I just had to get back out. Felt like saying Well thats not doing you any favours is it?
I was smoking her baccy last week and I know for a fact her brain will be saying well penny had some so ill have to buy one more packet...when she was meant to be giving stopping a bash after this lot.
%$£"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*£$£$£ still, says me, I havent came on yet, but my god my hormones and my temper[anger] I could chop someone up into little peaces the moods ive been in!!

minkmama · 03/10/2004 20:53

Right girls, am finally here. For 2 reasons.

a) as you know have been with parents
b) as you don't know, am not the supreme champion at all, quite the opposite.

Have been puffing all week whilst my parents were here in some kind of attempt i suppose to be closer to them before they left. they went on friday and i spent yesterday and today smoking to 'remember' them. daft i know. however, i am pleading grief since i am really close to them and it was my way of dealing with them moving away. i spent all day yesterday crying on and off silly things like being in the shed as everything in there reminds me of my dad (as they off-loaded a lot of stuff on me) and smelling my mum's cardy when i went ot put it in the wash.

fg, they lived here for just over 30 yrs but were going back and forth between my aunt's place and friends and finally spent the last week here.

the biggest reason that i couldn't post for a week was lack of time, but tbh i also didn't want to join you guys as a smoker and inadvertently 'encourage' you to smoke that 'one'.

Am here now though in my former capacity!

MY NAME IS MINKMAMA AND I AM A NON-SMOKER.

OP posts:
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