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Circumcision - have you had your ds 'done'?

168 replies

monkeygirl · 13/09/2004 11:57

My dh wants to follow the family tradition of having ds circumcised (for non-religious reasons) but I'm not sure if I want him to go under the knife. If you've had your ds done, why and at what age? And do you think it's made a difference (ie health and hygenically-wise)?

OP posts:
JoolsToo · 30/10/2004 11:16

Just like to reiterate this comment from StuartC (the male viewpoint - important I think!)

"Monkeygirl - Glad you've decided against imposing the cut on your ds.
It can be his own decision when he's older "Do I want part of my penis cut off???"
I'll make a guess what his decision will be.

I'll never understand how loving parents think they've the moral right to do this to their child."

Of course if there are medical reasons - thats entirely different - otherwise No, No, No!

WigWamBam · 30/10/2004 12:03

I have to say I was stunned by Paulapc's comment that she had her son "done" becasue she prefers it. Surely, when it comes to the decision to cut off part of the anatomy, unless it's on health grounds, the decision should be the boy's?

blossomhill · 30/10/2004 14:03

I agree unless it is for health reasons I really think it's barbaric.
Why subject your baby to an operation and anaesthetic unless absolutely necessary?

Paulapc · 31/10/2004 09:30

Sorry, this is long but it's probably my last post here.

Millions of men in the world are circumcised and seem to be happy with it. Most of them didn't have a choice and I don't hear them or their partners complaining. Because he was circumcised as a baby, my DH didn't have a choice. As a circumcised man he's happy his parents' had him 'done'. When I married him I didn't really have a choice. I mean you wouldn't reject a good man because his penis was circumcised or not, would you? He's my lover, I'm very happy with it that way. I can assure you that circumcised penises work just as well as the other sort.

As a nurse, I once had to see a nine year old through his circumcision and he was not a happy chappy. He started having bouts of foreskin infections and tightness when he was five. His situation didn't respond to treatment and so by the time he was seven they explained the options and asked him if he wanted to be circumcised. He said no, and they carried on treating him with antibiotics and ointment. Soon after, his baby brother came along and his parents, not surprisingly, circumcised him at a month old. About a year later the older boy changed his mind. This meant he was put on the waiting list and didn't get circumcised until he was nine. When I was comforting him afterwards he was quite tearful and said he wished his parents had done it when he was a baby.

I think he spoke for all boys and men who have to have it done later. It's more painful the longer you leave it, so I would encourage all mums reading this to have your son done straight away if your doctor thinks he needs it.

As mums we want to do what we think is best for our boys. Most of you haven't circumcised your boys because of what you?ve seen and heard. I made my decision to circumcise my boys on what I'd seen and heard. That doesn't make one of us wrong. I really don't have a problem with this thing about "choice". Circumcision, as I said, is best done when they are too young to be asked if they would like it. We have to decide.

Circumcision is more common than you might think. In this thread we have well over a dozen mums with circumcised sons. There must be many more reading who haven't said so in case they are criticised as I am being. Well let me say I'd rather not have to face my sons later when they might have to be or want to be circumcised, and then have them asking me why I didn't have it done when they were babies? My oldest at 7 already knows he is circumcised and I told him why and he doesn't have a problem with it. My youngest is five and hasn't asked me about it yet. When he does, I'll explain. Maybe it helps because he is like his daddy and his brother.

hmb · 31/10/2004 09:38

First off, I have no objections to people having their babies circumcised for religious reasons. For those families it is a very important symbolic tradition. However to have a child circumcised in case he has probelms with retraction of the forskin seems rather odd. The majority of men have no probelms with the retraction of the forskin, so why cut it off just in case? Dh had a rather tight forskin and it was sorted out, when he was an adult by a frenectomy (sp?) and never needed a circumcision. I also fail to understand why parent have a circumcision so that the childs penis resembles his father. Dh is missing a testicle, but we are not planning surgery for ds to match him!

pupuce · 31/10/2004 09:39

I respect people's choice (I have clients -a small minority- who circumcise their babies) - DH was circumcised for health reason when he was 1... but we would not have circumcised our son so that "he could be like daddy".... and anyway now he is going to be like everyone else at school (not that tis was ever part of the reasoning).... he would have been the odd one out if we had him circumcised.... if that is the reasoning used (and it isn't your only one paulapc).... than I would worry more about being the odd one out at shool than at home to be honest!

pupuce · 31/10/2004 09:44

hmb - it's a bit like women OB who prefer a caesarean section for themselves because they have "only" seen childbirth with problem... so in case they have a difficult birth, let's just operate !

hmb · 31/10/2004 09:48

I was happy with both of mine That said a normal delivery would be preferable if possible. Since my sections kept my babies alive (and me!) I was quite relieved. My second was elective, by choice at first, but then I had preclampsia, and dh was a very large (9 2 two weeks early) footling breech. My BP was going through the roof and the section was a life saver.

Paulapc · 31/10/2004 14:56

Just to respond to pupuce:

... than I would worry more about being the odd one out at shool than at home to be honest!

The local school is very mixed race with Turkish, West African, Pakistani and Jewish plus white English. Many of these ethnic groups circumcise their males so I think our boys will fit in fairly well.

JoolsToo · 31/10/2004 15:24

Paulapc - your dh may very well be happy with his circumcision - as loads of men are - but he'll never know what it was like to have a foreskin - so he can't say he prefers it. Nobodys are arguing against the case for circumcision when its medically necessary.
It's mildly condescending of you to tell us circumcised pensis's work just as well - we're not idiots and thats not the argument!
I also find it arrogant and hypocritical for women to 'decide' to change their sons bodies when they are so protective of their own - women in this day and age would not have any man telling them what's best for them!
It's a pity a few more men can't get into this debate - I suspect they'd be very vocal about it!

Paulapc · 31/10/2004 16:51

But surely JoolsToo, men with a foreskin equally don't know what it feels like to be circumcised. My DH says it's good, I think it's good, who is to deny us our opinion? Lots of men who've been circumcised and known sex before with a foreskin say it'd better afterwards.

velcrobott · 31/10/2004 16:53

Why would mother nature need to be tempered with?
Why not circumcise women then? (I admit I don't know the ins and out of women circumcision... )

Paulapc · 31/10/2004 16:56

Sorry JoolsToo, I haven't quite answered your point below. Uncircumcised men don't fancy being circumcised and say cut guys don't know what they are missing. My DH doesn't want his foreskin back even if you could offer it to him. he just doesn't like the idea and would argue foreskinned men don't know wjhat they are missing. I've had both and I prefer circumcised.

hercules · 31/10/2004 16:59

what a decision to make for someone else. I can kind of see the point for religious reasons and yes for medical. But just because yoy prefer it....

WigWamBam · 31/10/2004 17:58

I've had both too, Paulapc, and it makes bugger all difference, actually.

Paulapc · 01/11/2004 05:52

If, as WigWamBam says: "it makes bugger all difference" why is everyone so worried about my choice for MY sons?

WigWamBam · 01/11/2004 14:09

Precisely because it makes no difference. If it makes no difference, why do it? I wouldn't cut a piece out of my daughter's genitals purely for aesthetic reasons or in case she has a problem in later life; why do it to a boy?

KateandtheGirls · 01/11/2004 14:10

I agree wih WWB - it makes no difference to the female partner.

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