I can't keep this to myself any longer; I need to tell someone I feel.
Some of you may have seen my thread about feeding my son a lot to get him to sleep; at first I thought it was the tiredness from lack of sleep, bf whilst pregannt etc making me feel low. I said onthis thread that I didn't have anyone round to help and my partner had left and wanted a divorce.
Now I realise its not the tiredness; I think I have true clinical depression but I am too scared to see my GP, I'm scared SS will get involved and my son and baby I'm carrying will be taken off me.
My son is so demanding, I feel isolated, for some reason I've started thinking about the rape again even though it happened ages ago, and it hurts so much that someone who I thought the world of hates me so much now that he has left me when I'm pregnant and have a baby to look after when he knows I have nobody else to help.
I am almost constantly crying and although not really actively suicidal, I wake up every morning thinking "Oh god, why am I still here". I am not enjoying my pregnancy or my baby and I have become such a shit mum