Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread

[BrassicMonkey]

The last thread will close soon, but I want this one to be about everybody, not just me. So Hidesit, Earlgrey, SoSo and anyone else that needs support please post and keep me company.

I've lapsed again tonight, which is a shame as I hoped I'd be able to start this off on a postive note.

Link to the last thread.

Here's something I found on the web, but it does say social drinker. Are habitual drinkers social drinkers? I don't know, I was definitely an anti-social drinker

"The basic difference between the social drinker and the alcoholic is the way he drinks and the effect alcohol has on him. How much a person consumes is not the determining factor. An alcoholic might not have drink for a month, but when he does, he cannot stop. A social drinker could have a drink a number of times per week. That does not make him alcoholic. A problem drinker drinks to escape from unpleasant realities whereas the social drinker drinks to complement an event. The alcoholic becomes both physically and psychologically addicted to alcohol. The social drinker does not."

That's my bold. I just thought it may have been relevant...do habitual drinkers do it to escape reality ergo are problem drinkers?

Afternoon teasle, how are thing?

Things are good thanks, K. I'm having quite a nice day doing not much, as weather is too horrid to go out. What about you?

Catching up on all the stuff I abandoned when I jetted off to the other side of the planet! And of course doing none of it by hanging around on here. If you see a flurry of activity from me you'll know why. Please just tell me to get my head out my arse and get on with it!

DS's not too bad - just a cough. I kept him off school today because he lost so much sleep last night. Also he was supposed to have swimming this afternoon and I was worried about him spluttering in the pool, swallowing loads of water and being sick.

Kokeshi, how odd that your surgery are offering you a flu-jab! Would your implant be affected if you got flu then? Good luck with playing catch up

Hi Teasle. The weather down here is miserable too.

Hi BM!
Perhaps Kokeshi is being offered a flu jab due to her age?(After all, it says on her profile she's 104)

My youngest was ill all last week, and had really disrupted nights, so hope DS gets better soon, as I was knackered last week, got all tired and emotional each night. Mood swings a plenty.

How much am I not liking Kokeshi's internet quote.....? Guess the truth hurts.

I think if you are analysing your drinking discussing it ad infinitum and trying to moderate it then you are an alcoholic whatever way you dress it up.This sounds harsh I know but your average joe just doesn't have a 'relationship' with alcohol like an alcoholic does .You are all doing brilliantly btw xx

Oh to be in the land of the living! I have spent most of the past month in hospital, and really, I can hardly describe the feelings of despair and lonliness that a bottle of wine would only make infinitely worse.

I had the mastectomy nearly a month ago and came out of hospital #1 10 days later. The day after my escape I was in A&E in hospital #2 with crippling tummy pains. A week after my leaving hospital #1, I was admitted into hospital #3 and they are still investigating my tummy. The doctors here have been pretty bloody awful, and I'm on a urology ward so none of the nurses know any of the doctors who may be treating me anyway.

I have been pretty depressed since I arrived here. They don't think it's cancer, but it could be something horrible like Chrohns disease or colitis.

Some news.... It's probably colitis and I'll be on steroids. Hooray that I don't have to avoid anything food or drink-wise. It's the first time ever that I have spent a whole month without alcohol when I haven't been pregnant! Will this sense stay with me?

You are dead right there Noddy. I know it, you know it... X

Oh hellobello . I haven't got much time but had to post to say hello. God, I'm so sorry to hear about your health. What absolutely shocking news.

Seems too crass to say anything about not drinking...so I won't.

It's lovely to have you back posting again. Keep us updated.

Hellobello, it's great to see you posting, I've thought of you often. Sorry that you're having a rough time of it, I guess that experience would affect anyone's impression of a new place. Is it really dark up there?

How are you feeling after the mastectomy? Are they doing a reconstruction? Are you getting some emotional support, counselling? I guess the good news is that you're being treated for all your maladies at the one time - and it is possible that this long stint off the drink has given it a good kick start. How is the family settling in to the new place? Did your DH have a job up there?

So many questions, but so glad to have you back!

Oh and Noddy, I remember all the analysing and discussing about drink that I used to do. I was fascinated by non-alcohilc behaviour around alcohol and rules and relationships etc...

Nice to see you posting again btw. Has your DP ever relapsed?

I often think this Noddy, but then there are so many threads devoted to decreasing your drink, counting units, only at weekends, only drinking wine, not drinking wine ad infinitum. I don't feel I can go on all of these and say that because people always have was to justify their behaviour (and I think I would look like some kind of fanatic born again tee-totaller!).

What's your opinion on this, considering you've never had a drink problem? I imagine you can be more objective about it than I can?

Have ways to justify their behaviour.

I think all the 'ways' to drink that you mention eg weekends etc are only ways to avoid the inevitable and to hang on to the crutch a little bit longer.My dp tried to moderate his drinking after 9 months at the very beginning.I was pregnant and our life was very stable etc and he thought that maybe this new improved him could have 12 or 2.That lasted about 2 days and was a downward spiral which ended his drinking for good.Planning your drinking is a sure sign it is a problem It is nothing to do with quantity or drinking first thin in the morning or any other cliche ime

I'm fed-up with people asking about units etc. It seems to mean something different to everyone. It's always sad to see people beating themselves up, but hey, you can do that with a jaffa cake (really).

We spent a month away travelling through north-east Europe up to Estonia. The house we had rented was flooded and uninhabitable and the estate agent was foot-dragging about getting the place fixed or finding alternative accommodation.

We made the difficult decision to return to Uk, as we really didn't have time to find and furnish and move in to a new house etc etc before my operation.

My family are now quite close and living in a cottage rented by my parents.

Despite enforced sobriety, it is good to be well away from all that vodka and sweet Russian champagne! I needed a break!

Thanks Noddy, it's good to get another perspective.

My dp always said he didn't realise other people didn't have drinking rules

Hellobello, I'm glad things are working out for you, if not as you would have expected (or wanted I guess). I hope your family are able to help you with things. It really is good to have you back though [selfish emoticon]

Oh Kokeshi, you say such sweet things! !

I've been thinking about doing something a bit more creative again. Perhaps now I'll find a bit more time, and I no longer have the excuse that dh won't be able to look after the children. Just feeling so sodding ill at the moment.

Hi Ladies, sorry cant cment on previous osts as am just so sad today. Despite being so sure I wouldnt drink yesterday I did. I drank the wine I bought my friend as a birthday present. DH so upset he has left me a letter this morning sayng he will leave me if I carry on. I have got to stop this now as I will lose everything - he could even take the kids if he could prove I was unfit. I feel so terrible and cant stop crying.

Do you live near anyone who can go to an AA meeting with you?

I cant tell anyone about this.

I cant even explain to DH about the compulsion to drink. The trigger last night was him getting a couple of beers frm the shop. He honestly thought I could sit next to him and watch h drink them while I had a cup of tea. Same when we went for a meal the other week. He had 4 pints and expected me t sit there with orange juice. I just cant do that. I need to avoid alcohol and trigger situations for as a long as it takes for this awful urge to lessen (does it or does your resolve strengthen?). Ive never been a big one for moderation.