Dependent Drinkers and Alcoholics (recovering or active) Support Thread

[BrassicMonkey]

The last thread will close soon, but I want this one to be about everybody, not just me. So Hidesit, Earlgrey, SoSo and anyone else that needs support please post and keep me company.

I've lapsed again tonight, which is a shame as I hoped I'd be able to start this off on a postive note.

Link to the last thread.

Search engine for finding most convenient meetings - www.alcoholics-anonymous.org.uk/meetings/wtf.html

Helpline telephone number - 0845 769 7555 - recommended as, as teasle said they will put you in touch with another female member who you can chat with over the phone and who will meet you at your first meeting.

Email service - [email protected] - haven't used this myself. Think it may be new!

I've got to go out now, but please keep on posting. It's great to see the thread moving again

WOw, this is moving fast! Here's the link for the meeting finder

LOL!

Kokeshi

Try this number as they should have good local knowledge of where your nearest women only, daytime meeting is -

Manchester
Telephone 0161 236 6569
11.00am to 11.00pm daily
Answering machine at other times

Good luck and keep posting, about your DH, drinking habits, experience at first meeting if you go, experience at the substance abuse clinic if you choose that path - anything and everything that you want to talk about.

Chatting on here today has really lifted my spirits.

Yes, this is a turn around eh? A bunch of self-centred, self-obsessed alkies falling over themselves to help someone else! Who'd have thought it eh?

In all serious though, it does get to me - the perception of the selfish alcoholic who puts drink ahead of his/hers family. When I was drinking, drink would have always won the battle, but not because I was selfish and didn't care, but because I was ill. A lot of my last drinking nights were spent in absolute torture, but I couldn't see a way out of it.

It's the best thing about AA, isn't it? The knowledge that we're all the same, regardless of our clothing or family background, we're all there because alcohol was too powerful an addiction for us to combat alone - and so a community is formed where we understand one another and support each other.

I haven't been going to meetings as often as I should or posting on here because my Christmas cake was sooo important, and my menu plans, and my housework schedule..., but today has been lovely because I've read the posts of 2 people who are where I started from and it's reinforced my resolve to stay sober - and (sorry, for being too sentimental) it's more touching than a bloody Christmas cake

Absolutely BM, I was just thinking that as you were posting such honesty about how far you've come in the past few months, right from when you started that thread asking for help.

Would you have believed yourself how much things could and have changed? I think it's important for all of us who have been there to remember where we've come from and also the difference that being in recovery has made to our lives - despite or reluctance to accept help and try to do it all on our own.

It's kinda like a rolling programme in AA, there's no end and no beginning, once we're in the doors, we continue to learn and discover things about ourselves that were totally beyond us before, even small things like being able to prepare a Christmas cake, or look after ourselves and our families!

Now, will you be sending me up some samples of your mastery bakery

umm, my cake's a bit crap actually - it's kind of crumbling and I can't imagine that it's going to stay in one piece to be iced .

It is amazing though, the personal growth and maturity and the sills that I've learned just from being in a non-judgemental environment. Although i don't speak up, I'm still absorbing the atmosphere and I do know that it's a safe environment and I'm surrounded by brave people who have been on the same path as me - some at the beginning and some further down.

I think AA have such a faultless system - one hand washing the other, everyone contributing in thier own way, giving to get it back etc. It works and gives me hope that as I progress I'll have more strength and character than I ever would have had if I'd succeeded with controlled drinking. I'm beginning to understand gratitude

Listening, absorbing and understanding are way more important than having something to say. It will come in time.

I used to really worry about sharing, about if what I was saying was "right", if it was relevant to what others had shared etc etc. Actually, this doesn't matter at all, when you share, you are sharing first and foremost for yourself, from the heart, to assist you in your own recovery. You can always tell a "real" share from a "formulaic" share because it also touches the people in the room. Took me ages to let go enough to be able to do this. Sometimes I am still quite guarded, depending on the situation, but that's fine too.

I'm sure your cake will taste fab though

Email me your address and you'll get the best bit, I promise . It may be crumbly (due to me taking it out of the cake tin before it had cooled properly, and ex-dp trying to tip it on to the cooling rack), but it smells bloody lovely. I'm not 'feeding' it with brandy though...ohhhh,no - it was hard enough to give the first bottle away, so I'm not risking buying anymore.

I made a lovely swede and carrot mash from the Delia Christmas book this week. You might know it as 'carrot and bashed neeps'. Ex-p hated it, but DS and I loved it. It's going on the Christmas menu

Hi BM and Kokeshi.
Through going to meetings I feel a huge sense of relief. I always feel better for going to a meeting, even if I don't know anyone, or the person who shares has a totally different story.
I feel like I have learnt so much and that I am beginning to understand so much more.
I'm trying not to sound gushy etc, but I do feel a sense of freedom, that I never had when drinking, and a sense of peace.
(Obviously not when DP engineers an argument so he can f### off to the pub to get drunk etc), but in a more general way.
It hasn't been easy, and I am ashamed of lots of things I have done, but its ok to feel shame, because I'm making progress, and its shame about the past, not the present.

Does this make sense to you?

I find that when I'm doing what I should be doing, I can face the shame of the past and still feel proud of my achievements today.

I know what you mean about peace - I never had that when I was drinking and it sounded boring!!! It isn't boring though - it's what I was searching for through drink.

Oh absolutely teasle, totally get where you're coming from. That saying "feeling comfortable in your own skin" always baffled me. I always had to change the way I felt, by abusing myself in some way or another. Now I know that if I can just sit with the feelings that arise, they will pass eventually.

Even being in AUstralia brought it home to me. When I was there before, I couldn't enjoy just living in the beautiful surroundings (we lived right near the beach) with my late-H, I had to drink to just function. This time DP and I went for walks along that very same beach - and although I did feel sadness that my late husband ended up taking his own life through drink - I was so grateful that I could just "be there" in that moment and enjoy the simplicity of it.

When you go a wee bit further into the programme teasle, you'll be astonished. I'm really excited for you.

Hey BM, that's a lovely offer! Really? Can you send cake through the pot? I will pass on my address then...weyhey!!!

post, not pot!

Ex-p is a postman, I'm sure he can advise me on the best packaging and delivery method. I'd actually be delighted to send everyone on here a slice of my Christmas cake (as long as you don't all take the piss - I'm no Delia, just a wannabe .

Put your addy on facebook or email it to me. I wanted to send you a card anyway

Ah likewise, I was just thinking the same thing. If anyone else on the thread wouldn't mind a wee chrimbo card, email me on k0keshi at hotmail dot com. That's a zero between the two ks.

Of course I wouldn't laugh, I'll be in awe of your forward planning and general domesticity. Eat your heart out Nigella!

I really don't want the self fulfilling prophecy, but I looked at the list of AA meetings in my area (Ilford) and all they do is evening time?
Which I can't get to cause I have no sitter, no support and billy no mates.

What should I do? The urge is just too much, am off down the shop

hi all

I am on my second bottle purpleone - how are you doing?

PCx

PC

Lack of money meant I could only buy 1 bottle of vino tonight...so milked it for what its worth and bought the highest %age possible.
I know Im gonna suffer tomorrow with a 15% shiraz but Im glad it'll be Friday!

How are you?

I am drunk but ok

I think

Paperchain, I asked you a few questions on my post of 19.58 last night and you haven't replied.

PurpleOne, if you tell me the areas that surround Ilford and aren't too far from you, I can do a search for you. I've been using the meeting finder for quite a while now so I'm not bad at it. Sometimes it takes a wee bit of time!

sorry Kokeshi - I missed that

oh there is no qustion that I am an alcoholic, he just sees the bigger mental health picture, of which alcoholism is just one part

but it isnt normal to drink as much as I do, so I know I have a definete problem. And my relationship wiht is rteally really not good