Black nail. Terrified.

[Pinkbedsheets]

So since I was younger (about 9) I had a black pigment band on my nail (19 now) during my pregnancy (my dd is 16 months now) I noticed it spreading. Google tells me pregnancy can do that, or that I have melanoma. If it helps I am of darker skin and I’ve noticed in my family people have them quite commonly on their toes. Tbh I’m so scared I have melanoma and I’m going to die and not see my daughter grow up. I can’t sleep, can’t eat and withdrawn from my daily life. I’m going to go to the drs but that won’t be for a couple of weeks as I can’t get an appointment. I’m so scared

So it’s been a few days and my anxiety has come back in full force. I’m totally convinced I have melanoma and I’m gonna die and not see my daughter grow up. I’m going to my mums today and go to an urgent drs appointment tomorrow. I’m so scared.

Please do. This is your anxiety talking. Just go to the doctor and get their opinion. I hope your mum can reassure you, I understand what health anxiety is like

You need the GP appointment. But for the anxiety. Not because of a dark mark that's been on your nail for years. What can you do to keep busy until you get there?

It’s not the mark as per say, it’s the fact that it has spread in the last year/ year and a half or so. I’m just so worried, I can’t sleep, lost my appetite. I honestly think I’ve lost weight in the past week over the worry. Im trying to be the best mum I can to Mum daughter, just pretending I’m okay

I just wish I could be a normal young mum, enjoying my life with my dd. Not just constant worrying

and you can. But you need proper help and support with the anxiety. Good luck.

Thank you, I hate this. It’s like a being in a bad dream everyday

I do know the feeling. A lump in my boob. Not cancer. And when first pregnant they did routine HIV tests. Scared me. How exactly I thought I could have contracted it I don't know.
The potential illnesses aren't the issue. The complete panic and being convinced you're going to die and looking at every possible worst case scenario. That's the problem. And it can change.

Yes I guess so. The thing is although the mark has spread it’s also faded a lot so I know there’s a 99% chance it’s nothing serious but it’s always that 1% that gets me. It’s in my head literally my whole day, I can’t do anything without thinking about it. I will be playing with my dd then all of a sudden a thought of I’m going to die will come into my head

But the GP can help with that.

That’s true. It’s so so hard

Today has been so hard to get through, I’ve been with people all day but it hasn’t helped. I’m constantly thinking about it and on the verge of tears..I have no apetite and I don’t even want to go to the drs tomorrow anymore Incase the dr does think something is wrong. I’m just waiting for my dd to go bed so I can have a cry. I can’t cope like this anymore, the only thing keeping me together is her. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have her, as what’s the point as I’m going to die soon anyway

You won't die soon. But you do need to get to the doctors so you can start to find a way out of this.

Thank you. I’m counting down the hours to get there, I have decided to message my cousin in the meantime as she’s the only one I can talk too about my feelings when it just gets too hard. I just hope she’s not gone bed. I’m sitting in bed in tears, I hate this

Hi I’ve just been to the drs. As soon as she saw it she said “it’s not melanoma if that’s what you’re thinking” I told her about my anxiety and she’s gonna refer me. She told me to come back in two weeks so she can look at the nail bed although she’s doesn’t think there’s anything wrong

So pleased you got some reassurance

I feel so relieved now, she also said she would be able to tell if it was melanoma as it would have melanoma sites or something. Not too sure what it was but I’ve be able to sleep easy now

Hurrah!

Thank you everyone. I honestly can enjoy my day with my dd now and get help for my anxiety

Fantastic news!!

I can’t wait to be referred though cause even the gp told me it’s not I’m worried, that’s shes missed something and why does she want to see me again then. Bloody anxiety!!! I hate it!

So I’m back in the cycle of thinking I have melanoma again. My dr wouldn’t want to wait to see me again in two weeks if it was that, right ? Why does she want to see me again? The referral for my anxiety could take ages and I don’t know how I’m going to cope in the mean time? Any coping tips? I’ve spoken to family members in the mean time and they just think since the dr has told me It’s not that I should be okay, but why does she want to check in two weeks. I’m scared, can honestly feel a panic attack coming on

She probably wants to see how you are coping with the anxiety.
Tried mindfulness?
CBT workbook.
Ask about medication?
Distraction techniques.

She said she wants to see the new nail growth. But she said it’s not melanoma, but now my mind is making me think she thinks it is. What is mindfulness ?

It's a technique used in dealing with anxiety and depression. Would be better to have a Google as I'm not up to speed.
When I found my breast lump the GP said unlikely to be cancer but had to refer me straight to cancer clinic to be on the safe side. If they had ANY suspicion it was malignant you would be referred to a specialist.