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Original poster

Black nail. Terrified.

163 replies

Pinkbedsheets · 08/05/2018 17:49

So since I was younger (about 9) I had a black pigment band on my nail (19 now) during my pregnancy (my dd is 16 months now) I noticed it spreading. Google tells me pregnancy can do that, or that I have melanoma. If it helps I am of darker skin and I’ve noticed in my family people have them quite commonly on their toes. Tbh I’m so scared I have melanoma and I’m going to die and not see my daughter grow up. I can’t sleep, can’t eat and withdrawn from my daily life. I’m going to go to the drs but that won’t be for a couple of weeks as I can’t get an appointment. I’m so scared

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Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:12

Yes I am so exhausted from it, I hate how easily I can get upset by this. I’ve been worried about the nail before, about a month ago, I spoke to my daughters grandmother who is a nurse and saw the nail and told me it’s nothing to worry about so I was okay from then. But then the other day I came across an article on accident and there i was, scarfed again can’t eat nothing. I’ve been through this before this year already with lower belly pains, I was sure I had ovarian cancer and saw a dr and was told it was a urine infection, now that symptom is gone. When I was younger I had swollen glands, was sure I had lymphoma, I didn’t. Another time, I found a lump In my breast, the gp checked and said they was no lump, it was fatty tissue. Another time, had a muscle twicth in one leg, thought I had ms and I was going on die. If it’s not one thing it’s another

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CatherineCawood · 09/05/2018 09:14

You poor love. I understand totally. I saw a dermatologist only last week because I was convinced that I have skin cancer. I have generalised anxiety disorder and OCD.

Make an appt as a visitor if it's urgent no need to register first. Ring them today you'll feel so much better once you've made the step you'll feel back in control again.

Deal with this problem first then ask the gp for some CBT and maybe some anti anxiety meds if he thinks you need them.

Let us know how you get on x

Peach1886 · 09/05/2018 09:17

Good girl well done for making the appointment. It is "just" anxiety, there is nothing wrong i promise, as you say you just move from one worry to another (I do too). Now lets do our best to enjoy the day with our lovely DC Flowers

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:19

I know I have anxiety cause it effects other areas of my life, for instance I’m trying to get back into work but didn’t go to a training because I was scared. Of what? I don’t really know. Although, I’ve never been diagnosed for anxiety sometimes I just think my dr sees me and thinks oh shes back again “the hypochondriac” even my family think that so I just keep it to myself so I don’t bother anyone. I think this is for the first time I am actually seeking help about my actual anxiety and not the heath issue I think I have.

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Pandoraphile · 09/05/2018 09:20

Another one here who's had severe health anxiety. It's horrible, it's insidious and it's pointless. I know you say that you've got your mind in order but you haven't. You feel more calm at the moment but that will change.

Please, please see a GP today. That's what they're there for. Describe exactly how you've been feeling, say that you need something short term to calm you down and ask them to point you in the direction of more specialist help.

Don't leave it - you don't have to live like this.

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:25

Yep, it is one thing to another, even when I was pregnant I was sure something was wrong with my baby (there wasn’t) and I was kept in hospital for a month during the end to monitor the baby. I thought that I would never give birth, something terrible was gonna happen and here she is. So I know it was my anxiety talking. It’s really helping me to talk,that’s everyone who is sending supportive messages. think I’m gonna get up and clean the house, then take her to the park or swimming. I love when I see her enjoying herself, she’s still asleep, oblivious. I was a bit naughty and let her sleep in my bed last night but I just wanted her close. I’m gonna try my best to me in good spirits cause I think she can sense when I’m upset, yesterday she cried a lot and I wasn’t sure why but I think she was picking up on my mood.

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Rainydaydog · 09/05/2018 09:26

The thing is its not wrong to be a little concerned about the health issues you mentioned and get them checked out, the problem is you jump straight to the worst possible conclusion. If I had a pain I wouldn't just ignore it and decide it was definitely nothing, that is also an unhealthy reaction. I'd keep an eye on it and if it persisted see the GP. But I would be thinking this is almost certainly a mild infection, not this is almost certainly cancer.
So its not that you are wrong to even notice the symptoms its the fact you instantly assume the worst.
Reducing your overall anxiety and learning to relax will help. If you had a bucket of water (your stress and anxiety level) and it was already full to the brim, just a small cup of water (a health worry) can make the bucket overflow and you get panic attacks and so on. But if your bucket is only half full because you regularly empty it by doing relaxing things and so on, you can more easily cope with the extra problems.

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:31

From my own experience with this I never know when it is going to go. I normally start feeling better once I do make the appointment and generally start thinking about that problem less during the day, until I stop thinking about it at all. Then I probably will move on to the next thing, I think I’m gonna leave it until the appointment so I can have a chat about all that’s going on with my gp. Actually I’m gonna call my hv and see if she can help.

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Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:33

Thank you rainy, that water explaination actually helped, it’s true.
Today I’m gonna go to a relatives house and gonna buy my daughter a little trampoline, she’ll love that.

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memaymamo · 09/05/2018 09:36

Hi OP,

I just want to say that I know how you feel, anxiety is an absolute bitch. I don't get health anxiety but I get social anxiety and when I read your posts, I hear my own voice panicking over a social interaction and wondering how I'm ever going to get through life.

You will not always feel this way. You won't. You have times when you're calm and rational. Right now you are in the middle of the storm but you will get out the other side. I know that part of you realises your worry about your health is ridiculous but it still feels like utter crap doesn't it.

When you do get to the GP, please tell them you are suffering from regular anxiety. They can prescribe something to help.

As another poster said, you are at a prime time to suffer mental health difficulties, your body and your mind are both exhausted because you're working so hard to take care of your little one. Do your best to take any little opportunity to care for yourself or treat yourself.

I know you said you can't talk to your friends, but you may find just lining up a time to catch up over tea is soothing to your soul even if you don't want to share everything you've gone through.

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:41

Just wanted to ask, what can they do for anxiety? I would prefer not to be on any medication for it

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memaymamo · 09/05/2018 09:53

Well, I was thinking of medication. The other approach is counselling and cognitive behavioural therapy or self help like mindfulness/meditation. Those options are extremely effective but I personally find it hard to stick to that kind of thing without outside help.

One thing you can try on your own now is an app such as Thought Diary where you record your anxious thoughts and examine them, to see patterns and treat them as the anxious thoughts they are rather than truth. Another good one is Headspace.

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:55

I’m just a bit worried the medication would change me. I’ve seen people with other mental health issues go on meds and after that they are never the same again

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Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 09:56

Downloading it as I write this

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memaymamo · 09/05/2018 10:43

I know what you mean. It could be worth talking it through though. Some meds are pretty low key and don't need to be 'tapered', you can just take one when you feel an attack coming over you.

minmooch · 09/05/2018 12:59

You cannot go on like this. Your daughter needs you to function properly. She will learn your health anxiety is the norm. Go and get some help with your anxieties so that you can function properly.

You need to be an adult here and physically do something about it. Meet your new gp, gets meds to help if that's what it takes. You are catastrophising every situation and that is exhausting. You do not have to live this way - please ask for help from your gp.

lubeybooby · 09/05/2018 13:05

you need cbt for your health anxiety OP please get that arranged asap via the gp - it helped my dd and dp SO much

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 09/05/2018 13:45

It’s true Mimi I don’t want her to think this is normal. When I see my gp I’m going to explain everything, it is mentally exhausting. I’m also tired and low. Today has been good so far though, I’ve managed to clean the house and play with my daughter, she’s so happy. I’ve spoken to my mum more in depth about it who told me to stop reading things online which is true & suggested I go stay with my auntie for a night as she always wants to see my baby. The thought is still niggling at the back of my mind if I’m being honest, but it’s very small now. I feel okay today, just taking it day by day

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UndomesticHousewife · 10/05/2018 00:08

My dd developed a dark vertical stripe on her nail, I googled it and totally freaked out but after more googling it was her chemo drugs that caused it and after a while it went away.

You've had it for 10 years so it's highly unlikely that it's melanoma it's the pregnancy that has caused it to spread a bit you'll find it will go away.

But definitely see the doctor to put your mind at rest and to get help for your anxiety. You will be ok

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 10/05/2018 00:38

Yeah tbh looking at nail it’s like a grey colour, whereas before it used to be a lot darker. So maybe it is fading. I feel better, it has been niggling at the back of my mind but now I know I’ve got the drs booked I feel okay about this.

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Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 10/05/2018 00:43

I think I’ve been okay cause I’ve spent today with people, a bit worried when I’m by myself with dd. I’m just gonna keep myself busy, I think that’s my best coping mechanism. I’ve been doing this thing, when I feel the thoughts get a little bit overwhelming, I look at something and think about it and it distracts me for a bit. That’s been helping. I’ve gotten through this before and will get through it again. But this time with medical help. I was just wondering does anyone think this could be down to postpartum depression or is it too late ? As my dd is almost 18 months. I had a traumatic pregnancy and when I look back at that time it feel really anxious, after I had her I was okay up until she turned 1 then it started to get bad again.

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Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 10/05/2018 00:51

I don’t know if it’s stupid but another thing I’ve been doing is praying, I’m not particularly religious but I feel it helped me get through my pregancy emotionally and it helps my mind to feel more at peace. May sound stupid to some but I really does help. Overall, today has been good. Had a few hiccups but I’m taking it day by day until my drs appointment then I can get the appropriate treatment I need. I’m signing off now as I want a good nights sleep ( dunno how that’s gonna work as my dd has just woken up and has started giggling haha) but honestly, thank you all. Seeing a lot of what you guys wrote really helped me to get the help I need and put my mind at peace. Flowers

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stressedoutfred · 10/05/2018 22:17

Not stupid @Pinkbedsheets , you do what you need to do x

Wolfiefan · 10/05/2018 22:19

I don't think it's stupid at all. Good luck OP.

Original poster
Pinkbedsheets · 11/05/2018 00:43

Thank you all. Today I have been okay, still niggling at the back of my mind but that’s expected. Slowly but surelyFlowers

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