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Original poster

Highly contagious

137 replies

Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 06:27

Off sick, been to dr now waiting to find out if I have highly contagious illness. DSC was dropped off with us this morning. I have had to spend the day avoiding them - As they aren't immune, DH is. DH needs to go out tonight, leaving me to feed DC and put them to bed. AIBU to ask them to go back to their mums until I know? We are always flexible when she needs help etc.

OP posts:
lalalalyra · 13/04/2018 06:30

How old are they? Can your DH not cancel his event? Or sort their food before he goes and put it in the fridge?

Tbh, if it's something highly contagious and dangerous then why on earth did your DH not speak to their Mum before they were dropped off?

noMincedWords · 13/04/2018 06:32

Does DH "need" or to go out or does he want to?

If the former I'd contact the child's mother. If he just wants to go out then he should look after them.

hidinginthenightgarden · 13/04/2018 06:32

they should not have been dropped off at yours if there is a potential you could make them sick. SH needs to cancel his evening or try and postpone until kids are in bed.

noMincedWords · 13/04/2018 06:34

I changed my mind as I posted. They should go home whatever as surely your husband will be a carrier unless he's having a Dettol shower between being near you and the child?

Won't there be germs around the home?

DinahMo · 13/04/2018 06:34

That’s your DH’d call, isn’t it? Either he cancels his plans this evening to care for his child (and you!) or finds alternative childcare, which may be their mother. You cannot care for them at the moment because you’re unwell and might be contagious.

Get well soon!

Qwertytypewriter · 13/04/2018 06:36

, if it's something highly contagious and dangerous then why on earth did your DH not speak to their Mum before they were dropped off?
This^
What was he thinking? There's still a chance they'd catch it, even with you in another room! Doesn't he care about his own kids? If I was their DM I'd be furious...I'm not sure what's best at this point tbh, but he sounds like he has v poor judgement Hmm

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 06:37

DH can't cancel, we didn't know it was potentially contagious until lunch today. (When I saw the dr) I have asked DH to let their mum know. They are 10, DH would need to go out 6:00/6:30, so he could feed them early. But they'll want to stay up cause it's a Friday and I'm really drained and just need to sleep. So not really in a fit state to care for them.

OP posts:
noMincedWords · 13/04/2018 06:45

Call the mother then.

Pengggwn · 13/04/2018 06:48

What evening out can't be cancelled because you have to look after your kids? Confused

DinahMo · 13/04/2018 06:50

What time is it where you are now? Sorry bit confusing!

Your DH needs to sort this. Take yourself off to bed and rest Flowers

noMincedWords · 13/04/2018 06:51

What evening out can't be cancelled because you have to look after your kids?

Yeah!!!

Explain your husbands behaviour to us so that we can tell you he's a twat!!!

Tink2007 · 13/04/2018 06:51

What is it you think you have? Chicken pox?

Springnowplease · 13/04/2018 07:00

DH can cancel, he just chooses not to.

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 07:03

He's hosting/speaking at a charity event. Bit too late to find a replacement.

OP posts:
acornsandnuts · 13/04/2018 07:05

Two options here
1 DH cancels his plans (unless he is performing life saving surgery he really can cancel plans just chooses not to)
2 Mum takes Dc back

Of the three adults in this scenario the one who is ill and not the parent shouldn’t be the one to be expected to be the one to do child care.

Albertschair · 13/04/2018 07:07

Well it depends. Is it highly contagious and serious. Our highly contagious and eg a cold.

How unwell are you?

Do you want mum to have them because your husband arranged to be out on his contact day but you as baby sitter and now you are too unwell? Or because you don't want to risk passing this awful serious illness on to them?

If the former you stay upstairs he arranges a baby sitter. Or camcels his night out. If the latter, dad and mum need to talk to each other about what is best and safe for their children, and one of them has ro give up their plans for the evening

noMincedWords · 13/04/2018 07:10

"He's hosting/speaking at a charity event."

See. Knew he was a twat!

Smile

Good luck to him and hope you're soon better.

swingofthings · 13/04/2018 07:11

So what happened? I don't understand these dilemma (having been myself a single mum with an ex). Surely the first step is to call mum and explain and asked if there were any chance of the child going back. She can either say yes or no. If no, maybe because she herself has commitment as important as that of DH, then it is DH's responsibility to deal with as the child is under his care at that time. Whether it would have meant calling friends to ask for help, deciding that in most likelihood, you are now at the stage when you're not contagious any longer, or that his DS catching it might not be the worse thing that can happen (if indeed it is chicken pox, much better to have it younger), or that at worse, he might have to cancel his obligation, that was for HIM to sort out.

What is very annoying is dads who go on and on about their equal rights as non resident parents (which I totally agree with) but who somehow forget about their equal responsibilities when it doesn't suit and assume that it devolves to mum by default to sort out because she's the resident parent.

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 07:11

Whopping Cough. Have cracked ribs from the coughing and on minimal pain relief as might be pregnant- waiting in bloods coming back.

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 13/04/2018 07:11

What is the contagious illness? And if it is so contagious why did you go to a public place like the gp surgery?

BertrandRussell · 13/04/2018 07:12

It depends a bit what the illness is.

But surely their dad ought to be talking to their mum about what’s best for them?

BertrandRussell · 13/04/2018 07:14

You don’t need blood tests for whooping cough- the symptoms are so specific. Yes, the child needs to go back to their other parent.

dementedpixie · 13/04/2018 07:14

What age are the children as they may still have protection from their vaccines

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 07:16

@BertrandRussell bloods weren't for whoop. Had swabs taken for that.

OP posts:
adaline · 13/04/2018 07:18

Why on earth didn't DH ring their mother as soon as you found out?

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