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Original poster

Highly contagious

137 replies

Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 06:27

Off sick, been to dr now waiting to find out if I have highly contagious illness. DSC was dropped off with us this morning. I have had to spend the day avoiding them - As they aren't immune, DH is. DH needs to go out tonight, leaving me to feed DC and put them to bed. AIBU to ask them to go back to their mums until I know? We are always flexible when she needs help etc.

OP posts:
MistyMeena · 13/04/2018 09:40

Assuming then that the children aren't vaccinated?

seven201 · 13/04/2018 09:43

Have you checked if the dc have been vaccinated? They probably have been so will be fine in the house. They can make themselves a sandwich for dinner or order in a pizza for them. Hope you feel better soon.

BumpInTheOven · 13/04/2018 09:49

Some general antibiotics are fine in pregnancy (such as fluoxacillin) , how ever those used to treat whooping cough appear to not be approved in pregnancy due to causing birth defects..
Fingers crossed OP that the children are immunised...

notapizzaeater · 13/04/2018 09:52

have you asked if the kids are vaccinated ?

When did you last see them ? You might have been more contagious then tbh.

I'd stick them in front of telly with a take away pizza, at 10 they dont need watching all the time

Nanny0gg · 13/04/2018 09:54

Btw. Speakers often have to cancel at the last minute. The charity will cope.

If he won’t take the kids home (and he should) then he looks after them and you and you go to bed.

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 10:00

They aren't vaccinated and not seen them since the cough started as I've been away. DH managed to find time to feed them - minute noodles and veg sticks. The are hanging out in their den, sulking cause they aren't being fussed over. Apparently they are bored - early night set for them in an hour. I might phone a takeaway if I feel hungry.

OP posts:
LIZS · 13/04/2018 10:08

Is dh coming back before his do? If so he has to pick up pizza etc and a dvd for them. However if they are bored, that's just too bad , maybe they will want to go home instead.

LoniceraJaponica · 13/04/2018 11:27

Clearly you aren't in the UK if they are to go to bed in an hour. Where are you?

Elendon · 13/04/2018 12:06

How do you know they are not vaccinated?

How do you know they are sulky because they are not being fussed over? Obviously you feel left out because you are not being fussed over by your DH.

How do you know they are bored? Is Disney Dad not there to give them their full attention?

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 12:20

If you can't say anything nice then perhaps best not to say anything at all. Lesson learned, when sick don't post on Mumsnet- you won't get any sympathy!

OP posts:
willynillypie · 13/04/2018 12:29

OP, I don't think people are being unkind here. You posted that you are potentially highly contagious and in charge of two susceptible children. People offered you a myriad of very responsible and decent advice - namely that you should NOT be in contact with the children (as you also seemed to think) and should either make your husband stay home, return them to their mother or he should organise alternative care. You completely ignored everyone's advice, which I think is highly irresponsible, and now you have some bored and upset children on your hands. I don't understand what you wanted from this thread?

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 12:32

The mother wouldn't pick up DC and the father deemed fit to leave them with me. At no point was this my choice

OP posts:
willynillypie · 13/04/2018 12:35

OP if my DH dumped his children on me whilst I had whooping cough, I would be beyond angry and would be dealing with him accordingly. Have you spoken to him about this?

I also think the mother is shit for knowing about this situation but leaving her children there! I really, REALLY hope that you do not having the whooping cough/they do not get it or whatever else you have.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 13/04/2018 12:47

Did the mother know your DH was planning on leaving them alone with you? The comment about being able to avoid each other suggests she thinks he'll be there doing the running around.

Original poster
Everyotherweekend · 13/04/2018 12:48

Yip she knew. @Dobby1sAFreeElf

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 13/04/2018 12:51

Poor DC, they appear to have a pair of prize pricks for parents then.

I'd be having very very strong words with my DH if he ever pulled that on me or them.

liveinthemo · 13/04/2018 12:55

I know they are your DSC but seriously they are more their mother and fathers responsibility than yours! I feel sorry for you. You probably don't have the energy in your to put your foot down and say "no, they need to go back to their mothers". Have strong words with DH over this! You need to rest, especially with cracked ribs.. how do they seriously think your in the right state to look after children when you are this poorly? Thanksbig hugs and ignore nasty comments.

VladmirsPoutine · 13/04/2018 13:01

Your poor step child/ren being passed around like a hot potato between their parents.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/04/2018 13:17

If this isn't your choice then why arent you telling your h no? Why are you being so passive?

Elendon · 13/04/2018 14:23

The sympathy for being sick should come first and foremost from your DH and not a bunch of strangers of the internet!

I feel sorry for you and give you my sympathy because you are sick and have been dumped to cope with it, just like your step child/ren.

GnotherGnu · 13/04/2018 15:33

Why are you being so passive?

IWanna, OP has whooping cough and a cracked rib. Do you think there might possibly be a clue there?

WellThisIsShit · 13/04/2018 15:58

Ah Gnu wrote what I was going to!

Yes OP why aren’t you getting up and demanding change in the dynamics of your relationships right now?! Why aren’t you advocating for yourself and for your poor step children?! Why aren’t you effecting change from your bed? OP, OP, OP, whhhhhyyyyy?!

Oh yes, you’re a bit poorly aren’t you!

Flowers Sympathy and kindness first
Brew Deal with the immediate situation as much as you can... which is 1. You need to be in bed resting as you’re poorly and actually, you need to look after yourself 2. The children need to be ok as poss without you getting up... as you’re poorly and actually, you need to look after yourself!

Cake And finally, when you’re immediate health crisis has passed, you can get some of the issues uncovered by this situation discussed and out on the open. Both parents attempted to abdicate responsibility and leave you to it. You are not the unpaid skivvy so the roles need some shaking up, especially as family life might be going to change for everyone if you are pregnant. Now’s the time for a cabinet reshuffle, before the baby had arrived and you are in avulnerable position.

But that’s not for today. Today you snuggle in a duvet and try and have a nap.

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 13/04/2018 16:39

If she can post on here, she can tell her husband to stay home with his own kids!

Pengggwn · 13/04/2018 18:20

I am appalled that your DH didn't cancel his speaking event. He left his ill, possibly pregnant wife who may have whooping cough in charge of his children, because he 'couldn't' cancel. No. He wasn't prepared to cancel. That is different.

QuietNinjaTardis · 13/04/2018 19:42

Your dh is a cockwomble for leaving you in this situation. Ffs people the op is poorly and had a cracked rib and is probably in a lot of pain. How many of you put up a fight when you’re in pain? I hope you can just take yourself to bed and leave dc to put themselves to bed. What selfish fuckers your dh and his ex are.

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