Please help me

[PinkPearls20]

I have a massive fear of bleeding between my periods.

I check every half hour to an hour daily.
Since having my DD 20 Months ago I tend to spot at certain times in between periods.

Iv had GPs look at me, 12 months ago scans in my ovaries (all clear) 12 mi the ago a smear (all clear) and a gynecologists loom at me and say I look fine, its just a hormone imbalance.

I tend to spot in the middle of my cycle and then I have ovalatiom discharge and then I don't spot until I have my period.

This month tho, its 7 days before my period is due (I have 35day cycles) and I have the smallest ever streaks of pale pink blood in my discharge. Iv inky seen it because iv shine a bloody torch on it. It's happened twice in the last two days.

I'm so worried. Every time I ot to my GP she says 'Your smear is clear, The gyno said it was a hormonal imbalance....what do you want me to do?!...she gave me the pill about 5 months ago but I havbt taken it as I'm scared it will develop into cancer. I saw her again last week and ahe just said 'try taking the pill'.

I can't live with this fear anymore. I'm 27 and its literally taking over my thoughts. I check and I check and I check every day...some times I even have to were sudocream because of the repetitive wiping to check.

Why have I got light pink streaks when I wipe? 7 days before period is due ? I just want to go to sleep to stop the worry

Checked.. more blood. Just small amounts. Yesterday there was nothing really...just a tinge of yellow when I wiped.

Need to check but I'm doing the washing up instead. Hmmmm

I have just read the Leverest packet leaflet. It says that during the first few months of taking Leverest you may have u expected bleeding (bleeding outside the gap week).

I could cry with relief that I have read that... however I just know that in five minutes it will be like I have never read them words.

write the words from the leaflet and put them where you can see them.

and stop wiping.

I want you to come back at 10 pm and say you have not looked once!

That is going to be bloody hard is that. But I I'll try

Struggling

I use the copper coil so different situation but I spot bleed for about 10 days round my period. Maybe more. In my case I t's nothing to worry about.

Today I had pink on the loo paper, but no spotting on the pad or period yet. It'll probably be a few days of spotting then a period then more spotting.

I use an app called period tracker because even at 45 my period confused me! You can add all your spotting too.

I track it all down on my calander in my phone. It's all written in red. Every little thing I wrote down... even if it's the faintest pale pink line on the tissue, I note it.

Still struggling...

Do you accept this is a MH issue? You have nothing physically wrong with you.

Even if you check 1000 times a day, it's not going to help you is it?

Just stop,. Don't got to the loo unless you need a wee.

I know that it's a mental health issue, but sorry that it's a mental health issue and cervical cancer.

Not check yet...

Worry*

Lovely, you don't have cervical cancer. You have been examined. cervical cancer doesn't show itself with the symptoms you have anyway. It would be lots of blood all of the time. Most women who have CC don't have any symptoms until it's advanced. You do not have CC.

You accept this is compulsive behaviour- like people who wash their hands all the time thinking they are dirty? It's the same kind of mental health issue.

Please call MIND and also go to your GP and be very honest about what you are doing- and ask for help.

My OH is certain I don't have cervical cancer because we have only ever slept with each other. Also I have a clear smear.

I read in the Jos cervical cancer website women saying they had no symptoms of cervical cancer. I know that this is rare but I convince myself that I could be the rare one.

I will phone MIND on Monday. I haven't checked yet!

you;re doing really well
do not check till you need the loo- genuinely.

You have had your smear. you do not have CC. You can choose to believe you have - or, you can choose to carry on worrying. Only you can control your thoughts.

So- choose, either to carry on worrying or choose to stop.

Your call. :)

I spot on and off for days before my period and after my period. I spot when I ovulate. its nothing to worry about. You need to ask to see a different gp and explain about your health concerns over the year's and your anxiety.

The GP I see is lovely. She has literally held me and hugged me in the past whilst I cried. I think she has changed her tactics now by acting all cool and unbothered when i go to see her. She knows I'm a mess.

Last time I saw her she asked me 'What do you actually want me to do for you?' I was stumped

Then as I walked out of the room she shouted me back and made me promise her that I would book with the counciling.

What I need is a chat with a gynecologist. I once had a long chat with a great nurse as I visited the Brest clinic twice I'm about 12 months. I don't check my breast as often now, and when I do check I understand how to check and what I'm feeling for/looking for. - a vein and I was at the GP. It's been nearly a year now and I feel like I sensibly manage breast checks. Once/twice a month, calmly.

Although OH is not aloud to touch my breast incase he finds a lump.

Love, go to your GP and ask to be referred to the mental health team- or take up the offer of counselling.
You don't need a gynaecologist. You have nothing wrong.

You are denying your DH the pleasure of being intimate with you by not allowing him to touch you. This is not normal behaviour as you will know.

Does he not know how you feel and try to support you to get help?

Not checked yet but I could do with a wee then I'm going to watch some telly in bed as I'm feeling calmer.

Thanks to everyone who had posted tonight. You really help me and I believe in what gos around comes around 💐

MIND has a helpline that is available in the evenings.

Here www.mind.org.uk/?gclid=CIPoxuny0M4CFVYz0wodi50OAw

I suggest you call them.

He does know abit how I feel bit not fully because he cant understand why I am so sure it could be CC when we have been together since we were at school.

He doesn't know why he can't touch me properly, he thinks I'm ticklish. He gets upset that I won't sleep with him anymore. Really upset. I'm scared I will bleed. One day I will show him this thread I think.

and well done for your achievement tonight :)

My DP has been really upset that I won't sleep with him.

I decided to show him this thread this morning. It's been really embarrassing for me to show him because I feel it's so personal. He got about the first page read and then stopped because of the kids.

He said he hasn't got time to read the rest because is busy. Hes been shouting and balling at me saying 'When is all this going to stop! We going round in circles for years... I have my doubts that you have slept with other people because your so certain you have cervical cancer...I have absolutely had enough!'

I don't know if I should be upset with him or think he is right (not that i have slept with other people, I really haven't, only ever him in my life). I know he has had enough...but it was hard for me to show him this personal thread. I was so nervous and embarrassed and all he has done is shout at me

O don't know what to do. Hes accusing me if all sorts and I hav'nt done anything. Hes really mad with me and I just don't know what to do about it all

I had counciling about 5 years ago, for about 5 weeks. Hes saying that I'll just do all that again and nothing will work with me.

I have tried explaining that it probably wasn't the right kind but he's saying the reason that I'm so convinced I have CC is because I have been sleeping around. I'm so upset that he can only see this from this point of view I hav'nt done anything of the sort!

Well done for showing him the thread. he's in shock. Your thread has brought it all to a head. He has a right to feel angry. You are not the person he married because you are suffering from a mental health issue.

The best you can do at the moment is not engage with him in any discussion - let him calm down- but PROMISE him that you will get the right kind of help.

If you go to the link I left for MIND, you can click on the yellow button where it says you need help now. This takes you to the next page where it says do you have a crisis plan. If you click on NO it takes you to another link where there are 4 options- one is 'I am feeling very upset about something'. If you click on that, it takes you to phone numbers. One is for weekdays only, the other is for weekends but from 6pm.

You have to take this seriously, seek help, see your GP and explain how you feel.

I don't think there is anything anyone else can say to help you now- it's over to you to get the help you need.