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Original poster

Post-natal Depression

167 replies

dmozzo · 24/08/2002 19:05

Help!!!!
My wife had her fourth child back in January.
Her children's age ranges are 19,15,10 and 7 months.We both recently came to the conclusion that she is suffering from post natel depression due to the way she is reacting to things and how she cries over absoutely nothing at all.
Please has anyone got any natural remedy suggestions for her to try as she doesn't want to start on tranques,
I look forward to anyone's suggestions,thanks.

OP posts:
Girly · 21/11/2002 20:35

Hi Girls, Thanks Missdilema, am feeling much better, the 2 tabs a day seem to be working for the moment. Thanks for your concern everyone, I can only describe the week before last as the week from hell. My wonderful dh took a whole week off work last week to help with the kids and the relief was immense, just to have someone around full time for that week helped loads, had more time for dd (3) did fun things like girly shopping, bought Barbie vests and blow up bed! Had breakfast in a cafe, just her and I and realised just how much she was missing her and me time. Am starting to feel like ME again, hope this good feeling lasts. How is everyone else?

missdilema · 25/11/2002 12:04

Girly I'm sure it will last,so good to hear you are ok.This is a good sign and things can only get better.There's nothing better than a good bit of retail therapy and a lovely helpful husband.Keep posting.

Mum2Toby · 28/11/2002 13:06

Hi folks, this is my first time!! My son is 17 months old and I love him more than anything else in the world. However, after he was born I changed. I was deeply depressed, and cried all time and felt so hopeless. I couldn't see anything in my future. I lied on my questionnaire from the Health Visitor as I knew I was suffering from PND. Nobody knows except my partner.

It has gotten MUCH better and I don't feel hopeless anymore, but I still cry hysterically at least once a fortnight. I take everything out on my partner and he is findiong it hard to cope. We both work full-time and are always tired which doesn't help.

I don't know what I'm expecting to hear from you all, but it's nice to type this email and feel like I'm finally telling somebody.

SoupDragon · 28/11/2002 13:09

Hi mum2toby. Just having somewhere to chat about how you feel helps. Being anonymous is a real bonus too - I say things here I@d never say in a "real" situation.

Mum2Toby · 28/11/2002 13:09

Hi folks, this is my first time!! My son is 17 months old and I love him more than anything else in the world. However, after he was born I changed. I was deeply depressed, and cried all time and felt so hopeless. I couldn't see anything in my future. I lied on my questionnaire from the Health Visitor as I knew I was suffering from PND. Nobody knows except my partner.

It has gotten MUCH better and I don't feel hopeless anymore, but I still cry hysterically at least once a fortnight. I take everything out on my partner and he is findiong it hard to cope. We both work full-time and are always tired which doesn't help.

I don't know what I'm expecting to hear from you all, but it's nice to type this email and feel like I'm finally telling somebody.

Mum2Toby · 28/11/2002 13:15

Thanks soupdragon...

He's nearly 18 months old now! When will this stop??
Or will I have to go to the gp? I really don't want to.
Sometimes I think I'm over it then I slip back down and just cry and cry and cry. I want another baby, but I am so scared that I'll go back to the way I was for the first 10 months of his life. Does anyone have any advice for me?? What is the liekly hood of me feeling like this with my 2nd child too?

willow2 · 29/11/2002 10:46

HI Mum2Toby and welcome to the gang. First off, you're not going mad - so many women suffer from PND and not just in the first year of so. From personal experience, I'd say that you should try and find someone - a GP/counsellor/health visitor - that you feel you can really talk to to confide in. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are having a hard time of it -by doing so you are taking the first step to getting better. You say you don't want to go to your GP - why? Is it because you are worried they'll think you're losing the plot or suggest antidepressants? I promise you that (unless they are a complete arse) you really won't be the first mum who has gone to them in bits. I have been in your shoes and I too didn't want help or tablets - I thought I was being weak, that I should just snap out of it. In a strange way by admitting I couldn't cope I actually took some control back over my life. I ended up accepting both counselling and tablets and my world turned around. You have to remember that your moods will have a knock on effect on both your partner and your child - so you all stand to benefit from your getting help.

Re second child quandry - can't help you there. Still don't feel up to the challenge!!

Anyway, hope this helps and remember to post as often as you want. You'd be surprised by how many of us have been there and bought the t-shirt!

GrizzlyBear · 29/11/2002 11:07

Hiya Mum2Toby, this is my first time too and I registered because your message struck such a cord with me.

It took me just under a year after the birth of my dd to admit to myself or anyone else that there was something wrong with me .... I was unbelievably miserable and couldn't see how things were ever going to get better. My biggest problem was guilt - our dd was the result of 5 years and 6 cycles of IVF and huge emotional trauma for both dh and myself - and here was I wallowing in depression. Surely I should be the happiest person alive??
Anyway, to cut a long story short, I eventually went to my gp, broke down completely and accepted counselling and medication. I only went to one counselling session but it served to make me understand that I shouldn't feel guilty about being unhappy and I certainly wasn't alone. Things improved significantly after that and although I still have 'down' days (11 months on), these are getting less and less frequent and I seem to bounce back quickly.
So my advice would be to go and see your gp and accept any help he/she can offer ..... it doesn't make you a bad mum or a weak person, in fact it shows the opposite - you care about the lives of those closest to you and want to be at your best for them as well as for yourself.

All the best ...

sb34 · 29/11/2002 19:48

Message withdrawn

anais · 29/11/2002 20:38

Don't know if it's any help, but I suffered from depression for 5 years as a teenager. I had my first child at 18, and my second 2 1/2 years later. Despite my worries the depression has not recurred.

Mum2Toby · 03/12/2002 08:16

Thanks to everyone who responded to my messages. I can't believe what relief I feel already!!!
I have spoken to my boyf over the weekend and I'm going to make an appointment with my gp. I suppose I kind of thought that if I didn't make it 'official' by going to the gp then it would just go away...
....I think 17 months on it's safe to say it's not just going to go away on it's own. I hope that if I can combat PND this time then I'll be prepared if it re-occurs with subsequent children. Fingers-crossed and I'll let you all know how it goes.

susanmt · 03/12/2002 12:19

I have had PND with both my children, but I am also depressive by nature and have been treated for several bouts of depression since my teens.
I was very concerned about No2 and how things would pan out. I had a big long chat with my psychiatrist and my GP about it, did a good bit of research myself about the safety of antdepressants, and went back onto the tablets a month before ds was born, thus giving them time to kick in! I was still depressed second time round, and had to increase the dose a couple of times, but it was nothing like as bad as the first time and now at 10 months , although I am still taking the tablets and will do until the spring, I am a zillion times better than I was when dd was 10 months.

Mum2Toby · 06/12/2002 13:37

Hi everyone,

There's no going back now!! I've made the appointment at the GP's. It's 2 weeks today and I'm shaking already. How silly am I?

Lizzer · 06/12/2002 13:45

Well done mum2toby! You should feel proud to have opened up to all this, people suffer for years through hiding depression away. You are already on the mend as you've taken the first step- yay

Remember that GP's have lots of different ways of tackling depression - if you are not 100% comfortable with the answers or treatment you are receiving keep on until you get the support you need. Don't be pushed into a corner, you should EXPECT the help you need and if anything falls short then speak up. Good luck

Mum2Toby · 06/12/2002 13:53

Thanks Lizzer, I can't believe I'm finally doing it. Hopefully I won't need pills, but if that's what it takes I'll take them as last resort.
I feel human again just because I know I'm not the only one out there. It's felt very lonely for a long long time...

susanmt · 07/12/2002 07:52

Hi Mum2toby = can I just say something about pills - a lot of people look at them as a last resort, but they are actually quite good as a short course to 'jump start' you getting better. Just that that is what your doctor might have in mind if he/she wants to prescribe them.
All the best! PND is awful, and getting better is the best feeling in the world, like a black cloud lifting off your head. Hope youcan feel better soon.

susanmt · 07/12/2002 07:54

Maybe we should start a PND-2 thread as this one is getting so long and it takes so long to get to post a reply. I'll do it now.

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